We went to Portugal, to the most wonderful place high in the hills overlooking the river Douro, the hotels in this particular chain are called Pousadas are government owned throughout the country - castles, monasteries, palaces, convents etc. of Portugal to encourage use of ... Manor Houses of Portugal,
WELL, first day there, I chose my multicoloured pure silk kaftan! it covered everything....and blew gently in the soft breeze which came up the hill on which the 'Pousada' was perched, but it didn't matter that occasionally my enormous arse was exposed........due to the soft breezes, I had on my size 20 black swimsuit with hidden support (from M & S) it gets worse....
There was this divine outdoor infinity pool overlooking the river winding below us................ no one had appeared yet.....it was quite early, and the sun was warm with shadows falling over part of the seating area.
So naturally I I needed to re-arrang to whole of the seating area around the pool, dragging sunbeds, pulling tables and umbrellas from perfectly positioned places, barking orders at Bill .....puffing and blowing sweating like a pig, dragging and pulling. Bill actually disappeared to the bar on the pretext of buying drinks.....
Finally, I flopped myself on a sunbed dragged my huge beach bag next to me, and breathed out.....I thought I'd rest awhile then probably go for a dip, then perhaps stroll to the terrace for a light lunch........
..........that was until a party of ladies arrived, probably all in their mid to late forties all French, chatting and giggling with their gorgeous sleek black hair or some with the soft streaked blonde bobs, no men, just a party of friends on holiday from their jobs probably as sales managers with Prada in Paris.
Slim, tanned, very very stylish. touches of gold here and there, earings, a slim bracelet watch...not for them 16 friggin plastic bangles jangling up their freckled Fake Baked arms.
One in particular (I fell in love with her)she had on a crisp white shirt, (crisp white shirt - why didn't I think of that? oh no multi-coloured massive kaftan for me! I'm on me holidays) black knee length tailored shorts, a red cardie slung nonchalantly over her shoulders, very very brown legs, black leather sandals, a white towel rolled up under one arm and a small leather satchel (the same colour as her long slim legs), over her shoulder, amazing...all of them.
They looked around the pool area......... there was just this party from Asda!!! sorry England! in the far corner where the sun was shining. They smiled over to me, then turned and spoke to each other...in French....I could only guess.
I watched them from under my sunglasses and I slowly slid under my enormous multicoloured flapping big chuffin kaftan cover-all and didn't move till it had gone dark!
I pretended I was disabled, and to be honest, compared to them I was.
How depressing, I used to look good in a bikini, now I don't look good in a Kaftan!
sheila