I have heard my sister’s voice and I’ve felt terrible about it ever since because I had nodded off in my 4 yr old son’s bed as he played with his toys in the room.
My sister had recently died of breast cancer at the very young age of 36 and had had a very traumatic few years preceding her diagnosis. Nothing was going right for her. She had wanted family and it wasn’t to be and I suppose everything she wanted, I had which made me feel very guilty. She wrote me a goodbye letter before she died which told me she loved me and made my heart break. I didn’t reply to it other than to say thankyou which I’ve always regretted. I suppose I didn’t want to accept the awful situation.
When I heard her voice she was shouting, “You bitch!” at me as I woke up and I heard it when I was awake too. I felt so guilty for my son that I had slept even for a short time and I felt awful because her voice sounded so fierce that it seemed full of hate.
I am hoping that if there is life after death that she loves me as I do her even though I have made many mistakes in bringing up my son. :-(
Soops kitchen, a place of reflection, refuge and at times revelry.
we were very, very close.
