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Bereavement

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Buried with first wife

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Cherrytree59 Tue 25-Jun-19 13:18:41

I have just deleted a longer post as I realised it would outing and could cause upset.
So edited version....

My friend's father would have been married to his first wife (who I knew and liked) for about 30 years and was with his partner (who I know and like) for just over 30 years.
I had a feeling that he would be buried with his first wife and recently I was proven to be right as my friend's father has now sadly died .

I understand that for the adult children their mother and father are now together and from a financial point of view they already had plot but....
I feel so sorry for his long term partner who has nursed him through his long term illness.
She has been part of the family and a grandmother to his eight grandchildren.

The grandchildren were not even born when the first wife passed away.

The grave is close to my parents grave, so I see it when I visit and for some reason I feel really uncomfortable.

I would be interested to
read other GNers thoughts.

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trisher Sat 12-Oct-19 16:24:51

Our family grave has in it- In order of adding- My mum &dad's second son (my brother )died in infancy, my maternal grandfather, my paternal grandfather's ashes, my paternal grandmother, my maternal grandmother's ashes, my dad's ashes and I'm about to add my mum's ashes. I like to think they're having a family party in there!

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Hetty58 Sat 12-Oct-19 16:40:02

There's a good chance that his partner doesn't really mind where he's buried. She probably knew what the plan was anyway.

My late (second) husband wanted his ashes scattered. When he died, his sisters wanted his ashes put in the family (uncle and aunts) grave instead. I agreed as I didn't mind either way and knew he wouldn't want them upset.

Mind you, I've upset them anyway by never visiting as memorials have no meaning for me. They shouldn't expect me to agree with their religious ideas of respecting the dead by doing duty visits, I believe.

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BlueBelle Sat 12-Oct-19 17:02:36

A lady in my cemetery has sorted it she is buried with both her husband and her lifelong best friend 2 men one woman that’s how to do it eh
I ve got no one to share my bed with ?

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Norman1939 Mon 09-Dec-19 11:59:05

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Chestnut Mon 09-Dec-19 12:12:27

If he stated in his will to be buried with his first wife then that should be respected. It's the appropriate thing to do anyway. But ideally it would be nice if the second 'wife' could go there with them, seeing that they were together for so long. I'm sure the family will discuss this, and I hope there are no disagreements.

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Norman1939 Mon 09-Dec-19 12:15:38

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