So sorry to hear it's so tough for you Linda. You were together a long time, it's no wonder you miss him such a lot. Sadness is a funny thing, it creeps up on you when you don't expect it and then just knocks you sideways. Sometimes it's a memory that triggers it, other times no obvious reason. Try not to give yourself a hard time, it's still really early days and what you're describing is a "normal" response to the loss of someone you really loved. It must have been hard to watch your husband deteriorate like that. Keep posting if it helps you to feel less alone with it all. There is a gransnet forum dedicated to bereavement, you might find it helpful to have look at what others have experienced
Thinking of you 