Why can't I wear this to a wedding?

kittylester

Am I the only one who can see that the daughter is thinking her daughter might ve upset to think she wasn't worthy of a brand new outfit. I wouldn't have even thought about releasing it. Its a big celebration for your family - surely worth splashing out on.

A bride is totally focussed on herself and HIM and their love for each other. On her wedding day she is the happiest luckiest most loved girl in the world.

She won't be pricing the guests outfits to assess her own "worth" in their eyes.

Heavens, do brides these days need to see the price tag on the wedding gifts to decide how much they like the giver?

It sounds a lovely outfit. Wear it and have a happy day.

Only in old photos I should add.

Interestingly, my SiL wore the same outfit to both her son and her daughters weddings, several years apart, and no one was apoplectic about it

I did exactly the same! I had bought an expensive (to me!) silk outfit and wore it once with a jacket and the second time with a cobweb bolero. Same shoes and handbag, too!

My DCs clearly weren’t bothered as they never mentioned it and I’d never even thought to clear it with them before the wedding!

MissAdventure

My dad's Mum kept her coat on, with her handbag held in front of her like a shield.

Haha yes I have seen many older women relatives at weddings stood in that way, a long coat and a fiercely held handbag.😁

petra

If lace is such a no no for the guests at a wedding why are there so many mother of the bride outfits featuring lace.
That I dear belongs in the last century.

As do many MOB’s 🤭

Thinking back, my husband's Gran was standing for quite a while while photographs were taken outside the church. Now I'm the same age as she was then, I feel guilty that no-one fetched her a chair.

My dad's Mum kept her coat on, with her handbag held in front of her like a shield.

My mother-in-law wore green for our wedding 😲
I said nothing at all.

Not green lace, it was a sage green dress and jacket and hat. Apparently that superstition has flown away with the fairies now too.

If lace is such a no no for the guests at a wedding why are there so many mother of the bride outfits featuring lace.
That I dear belongs in the last century.

Sarnia, how about posting a picture of the outfit on here? Some people think it may be outdated but we can’t really tell without seeing it.

Fallingstar

I didn’t know that about lace, especially if it is coffee coloured and not cream or white, but if lace is a problem at a wedding then maybe this is it.
It must be an absolute minefield planning weddings today.

I didn't know that about lace at weddings either. However, I have seen quite a number of posts from people who were invited to weddings which came with a plethora of 'rules' from the bride about what colours they should wear, etc. I'm afraid if someone tried to dictate to me what I should wear to their wedding (obviously I'm not talking about members of the actual bridal party, mother of the bride/groom etc) then I wouldn't be going.

Witzend

Since it’s very likely something you’d rarely wear anyway, I’d tell dd that the money I’m saving by not buying anything new that I don’t need, the cash will be added to whatever I’m giving Gdd as a wedding present.

Yes, I'd say that too.

"Aren’t we all supposed to be recycling rather than buying new all the time?"
And this!

My wedding dress wasn't lace and, even if it was, it wouldn't have bothered me if a guest wore lace in a different colour.

I bought a designer hat, lovely dress and jacket from eBay for my daughter’s BFs wedding. Total cost £40. The shoes and bag I’d already worn to another family wedding. Nobody said anything and why would they. Had I bought it all new we’d be talking about £800.

I didn’t know that about lace, especially if it is coffee coloured and not cream or white, but if lace is a problem at a wedding then maybe this is it.
It must be an absolute minefield planning weddings today.

Lathyrus3 👍🏻 I agree about lace at a wedding.

If your daughter doesn't want you to wear the outfit then my advice is don't. Buy another.... perhaps do what a wealthy friend of mine did. She bought her fabulous outfit, for her own daughter's wedding, from a 'New To You ' shop. My friend could easily have afforded a brand new outfit, but she is keen to recycle. Her daughter was perfectly happy with her mother's choice.
Whatever you decide, please don't let clothes cause bad feelings between you and your family.
Have a lovely day when the time comes. Hopefully you will put a photo on GN?

Can you afford to get a new outfit, Sarnia? If so, then it’s a very simple decision…which is more important to you, wearing that outfit, or not upsetting your daughter on a big day for her?
If not, I would just explain to your daughter that you can’t afford a new outfit, and ask for her help in maybe choosing a new hat/scarf/handbag instead…

Ok, I tried to be tactful.

Now I’m going to be blunt.

An outfit of lace, in what could be seen as part of the cream spectrum is not appropriate for a wedding. It is simply too close to bridal wear.

Particularly if the person wearing it is going to feature in photographs with the bride or be seen close to her.

Jst take a look at some of the online comments made about people who have worn outfits like that. I have thought it myself as a guest - admittedly when it was the mother-in-law in cream lace.

I think you daughter is trying to head off an upset.

Since it’s very likely something you’d rarely wear anyway, I’d tell dd that the money I’m saving by not buying anything new that I don’t need, the cash will be added to whatever I’m giving Gdd as a wedding present.

SueDonim

Oh dear! Have you tried it on since the first wedding so you know it still fits and feels comfortable? That might be where to start. If it does indeed still feel good you could suggest to your dd that you’ll get new shoes/bag/jewellery to make it look different. I have to say, a coffee-coloured outfit sounds lovely, to me, lots of potential for accessories.

If your dd still won’t accept your choice , then suggest she pays for a new outfit! Alternatively, just wear it anyway, she’ll be so busy on the day she probably won’t notice what anyone else is wearing.

I thought a coffee coloured outfit for a wedding was great….until I saw the photos later, the colour added ten years to my age😫
To the OP I would say go for a brighter colour and do what your DD advises, you don’t want any family fall outs.

Whitewavemark2

My advice would be to stick to your guns. In practice, I hate upsetting my AC so would probably buy a new outfit.

So my advice is useless😄😄

isn't this the the truth? not about your advice being useless about the reality of not wanting to upset people

Has your daughter actually seen your outfit on? Sometimes an outfit looks much better on than just seen on the hanger. Is she perhaps upset that in her view you’re not making enough of an effort to look your best for Gd’s wedding? Like you I’d be wanting to wear what I have that is comfortable and makes me feel good. Good luck navigating it all!

I agree. In your daughters defence though she is probably feeling very stressed with wedding arrangements!
You have had consistent advice on GN ,
would it help to show the response to her ? 🤔

If it still fits you and you like it, wear it.

I was at a family wedding recently and I wore the same outfit that I wore to another family wedding several years previously.
No-one at the second wedding had seen me in it at the first wedding as they weren’t at the first wedding, but even if some of them had been I would still have worn it. I bought a different handbag and shoes, but that was all.

Interestingly, my SiL wore the same outfit to both her son and her daughters weddings, several years apart, and no one was apoplectic about it 🤣.

If your daughter is insistent, then she should buy your new outfit.