Why can't I wear this to a wedding?

Wear it nd enjoy xxx

Sarnia

suzabke? I can’t even remember the wordI wanted to type but how could it be corrected to that🙄

No but she may well be the messenger, saying what the bride doesn’t want to say herself.

I don’t really think harking back to our own weddings is relevant really.

A lot of weddings nowadays are suzabke and expensive ‘productions” years in the dreaming and planning. The recording and presentation are as important as the day itself with practice photography and rehearsal before the day and themes planned to ensure the playback is perfect.

not look on social media to see how decisions are made about colour or fashion or the need to follow a theme.

And of course photoshop to get the perfect images.

A wedding is completely different now from when we were married and a best outfit was ok.

We may think it’s silly, but it is what it is.

Having said that Sabrina can wear what she likes. My son didn’t like my first choice. I wouldn’t have dreamed of going to his wedding knowing that.

Oh dear. I know for certain neither of our granddaughters would mind what we wear to their wedding Have a chat with your granddaughter. Listen to her. Maybe send her a photo of you in the outfit or ask her to come round and see both you and the outfit. The second hand comment from your daughter seems quite rude to be honest. There are all sorts of reasons grandparents don’t buy new outfits - health , finances, access to stores, a wish not to buy something that will only be worn once. I honestly don’t see why it’s such an issue for your daughter. She isn’t the bride!

In 1969 at our wedding there were a lot of colourful suits and pill box hats.
I would not dream of telling any guest and especially not my DM what to wear.

My mum criticised DH shoes and said his DGF was also shocked that he wore his favourite desert boots. The subject was brought up over the years but it didn't cause an estrangement. She could be quite a stirrer.

I like the idea of hiring an outfit.
Here in Scotland the men usually wear kilts and hire one if they don't own one.

My DMiL hired a golden outfit for her golden wedding do. Not something she was ever likely to wear again.
I borrowed a posh dress for the same occasion.

I rarely get the opportunity to dress up and my grandchildren are unlikely to choose a posh do. However, I would enjoy making an effort to look good. Were I invited to a posh wedding and already possessed a nice lace getup I'd try it on again and decide if the colour did anything for me. I would also enjoy searching round to see if I could find an outfit I like better.

A few years ago I was a guest at the wedding of a couple in their 80s. They were both widowed for many years before they got together.

The groom’s DIL did not approve of him getting married again so she turned up in an old T shirt and a denim skirt and flip flops. She is usually very well dressed. All the brides family and other guests had made a real effort to dress up. It was her way of objecting but she ended up looking foolish.

Scribbles

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

There were only half a dozen guests at my wedding and I couldn't tell you now what sny of them were wearing. I'd need to look at the photos.

I do wish people wouldn't get so stressed about weddings; it's supposed to be a happy occasion. In the OP's position, I'd assume I'd been asked for my company not my dress sense, tell the daughter to butt out and wear whatever felt comfortable and appropriate to me.

Yes, I'm with you on that. I'd have to look at my wedding photos too to tell you what anyone was wearing. When my son got married, his granny just dug something out of her wardrobe - it wasn't even particularly what you would think of as a wedding guest outfit - but did anyone care? No, they were just happy that she was there to be a part of the occasion.

My wedding was back in the days when the bride had little say in anything. And, of course, I was so pleased my nan was there but, looking at photos now, she looks quite out of place. As my mother tried to do at our daughter's wedding, she made it all about her.

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

The point being that it's the bride's big day.

I found an outfit for a GS’s baptism 25 years ago which I loved. It was still my favourite until I recently lost 2 stone and it became noticeably too big. It took me happily and comfortably to several family weddings and innumerable other occasions. I am glad to have an extended family who do not judge each other by their clothes.

kittylester what was so embarassing? Wasn't it enough that she was there to share in your happy day?

Unless she usually wears a Count Binface outfit, that is.

Scribbles

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

There were only half a dozen guests at my wedding and I couldn't tell you now what sny of them were wearing. I'd need to look at the photos.

I do wish people wouldn't get so stressed about weddings; it's supposed to be a happy occasion. In the OP's position, I'd assume I'd been asked for my company not my dress sense, tell the daughter to butt out and wear whatever felt comfortable and appropriate to me.

Great post 👏👏👏

Lathyrus3

I’m really quite sad about the picture if Granny in the corner that nobody notices.

It would be top table, front of the church, entrance after guests are seated and right there in the photos, especially the three generations of women one. Girl power👏

Oh, everybody notices her, but almost as a duty.

kittylester, I think that says more about you than about your grandmother. 😱

There were only half a dozen guests at my wedding and I couldn't tell you now what sny of them were wearing. I'd need to look at the photos.

I do wish people wouldn't get so stressed about weddings; it's supposed to be a happy occasion. In the OP's position, I'd assume I'd been asked for my company not my dress sense, tell the daughter to butt out and wear whatever felt comfortable and appropriate to me.

My nan came to my wedding in her usual wedding gear and I was embarrassed.

Right, ok…at this point I give up, then 🤣

As has been said stillawipp, it isn't the OP's daughter's big day it's her GD's and if simply ignoring an AC's wishes about what to wear could lead to estrangement, that just shows how ridiculous estrangement can be.

Sarnia - I would really speak to your granddaughter first.

stillawipp

I can't believe that some are seriously telling you to do what you want & ignore your daughter's wishes on her big day, OP. Maybe just head over to the Estrangement threads & see how that generally works out for people....please don't be one of them for the sake of a dress...

It isn't OP's daughter's big day.

It's theBride's big day, and she is OP's granddaughter.

Fallingstar

Why is your DD saying this?
Sounds like you have a lovely outfit that is comfortable to wear so her reasoning sounds a bit off, could it be that she doesn’t like your outfit for some reason? Maybe she thinks the colour isn’t right or something, or that it doesn’t suit you, but she doesn’t want to upset you by saying this.
The only one who can clear this up is your DD so just ask her outright why she doesn’t want you to wear this outfit. And if is just because she thinks you should buy a new one, which is odd and wasteful, tell her that you would rather wear the suit you have and leave it at that.

My DD views it as second hand having been worn to a previous wedding. She hasn't seen me in it, nobody in my immediate family has. I will take your advice and ask her the reason. Thank you.

Oh, how I wushed I could reuse a wedding outfit. 3 AC married with a year between each other. Thought we'd need a mortgage. All 3 were in different types of locations and first outfit wouldn't suit the other two. I found it so stressful searching for outfits. Go with your existing outfit, you'll feel comfortable, abd just think of the money, time and effort ffirt you will save.

If, after you’ve tried it on again, it fits and you still like it- ask your granddaughter about her colour scheme and buy new hat, shoes, and handbag to go with it.
Coffee/taupe is neutral so this could be a solution for you.
In 2018 two of my nieces had weddings one month apart. I wore an ivory dress and jacket which had flashes of pink, purple and teal in it.
One wedding had ivory/coffee tones, so I bought teal accessories to contrast as the dress itself was in tune with the theme. The other was purple themed so I contrasted with fuschia accessories- the outfit looking totally different on the two days- as it was the colours which caught the eye and blended with the colour schemes not the dress. Hope you get it resolved. x

I wore a beautiful pale pink, lined, lace dress, with a matching lace bolero. It was very sweet, smart and comfortable. It was my DD’s wedding. She was absolutely fine with it and no one batted an eyelid.

It was an A line dress, mid calf and absolutely nothing like a wedding dress.