Should I move?

I have a friend who always said to me that we should always make plans, whilst we're able to. However she didn't! Her stairs were unsafe, too steep. Many more problems too. She had to move into a care home earlier than she would have liked. Although I understand people's worries of moving into a ground floor flat. If you have the good fortune to buy one in a good location they can be ideal., if it's ground floor with a small garden. It would be a shame to move away from friends. It's just thinking about enabling you to remain in your own safe home for much longer. None of us know how or if our health will deteriorated not how quickly. But I do know if you try to move when your health goes downhill, it becomes so much harder unless you get a lot of help. I suppose it is about taking responsibility for about how long you want to remain in a home of your own, with as much safety and independence as possible.

I moved over 100 miles to the north west nearly 7 years ago best thing I have done since my husband died in 2004. Love my 2 bed bungalow. Neighbours are brilliant. Have joined several groups have more friends than I have ever had. Transport is excellent..If it wasn't for the healthcare I received here I wouldn't still know what my disability I was born with when I was 63 when I was 62 found out I was also born with a hole in the side of my heart.

After my husband died I existed I didn't have a life . The house wasn't home anymore.

Now I live my life to the full and the time here has flown by . You couldn't pay me million pounds to go back too where I used to live . I moved on my own and sorted everything out myself .

LaCrepescule

Well, you’ve all given me plenty to think about. I’m so close to everything where I am and really don’t need a car (in fact when I couldn’t drive for over a year I didn’t really miss it.) I couldn’t live in a flat without a garden as I spend all my time out there in the warmer months.
Can you get stairlifts for steep narrow stairs? I do worry about maintenance but I’m an old house person too. I have a very useful ex-husband who lives down the road and does lots of jobs for me.
I just love the idea of living on one floor but maybe it’s a pipe dream….
And I have an ancient cathedral on my doorstep and am a mere 20 minutes from London on the train (the station is a short walk.) I think I’ve talked myself out of it by posting so thank you for helping me think about it!

Good. I love to be out working in gardens, my husband and I can diy most anything - your xH sounds similarly helpful. Well done deciding!

Someone I know moved from our market town in East Midlands to Middlesex.

They moved from a 4 or 5 bedroom detached property to a 3 bedroom semi-detached bungalow. They moved to be closer to their ACs working in London and the cultural scene in London.

I do not know how they managed to arrange the real estate viewings from East Midlands. It is a case of where there's a will, there's a way. I believe if you want something bad enough, you make it happen.

Good to hear you've made your decision LaCrepescule.
Moving is a nightmare, even if you are lucky to get everything moving smoothly, it took me years of buyers pulling out and my purchase folding for whatever reason. Wish you every happiness.

I’ve moved 6 times, so hold not allegiance to bricks and mortar, I’ve moved my memories with me. I’ve realised having moved this many times (to accommodate growing then them leaving to go their way, including grandchildren) that we need to adapt to the changes in our health and wellbeing.
I’d defo say a bungalow, not a flat or anything that you have to share with anyone, above, to the side or below you, as my garden which is small enough is my wee chill place. I also would suggest moving somewhere fairly close to shops or train station or has a good bus service for when you cannot drive, so at least you can get to shops and places of interest. It’s great having good neighbours, but they could eventually decide to move as we don’t know how life will go, so i agree with other post, maybe start looking at wee bungalows, perhaps drive into the area and stop for a coffee or a wee shop and get the feel of the place and the locals, and get excited about all the new places and people you’ll meet. Then you can invite your old neighbours over. Good luck.

Well, you’ve all given me plenty to think about. I’m so close to everything where I am and really don’t need a car (in fact when I couldn’t drive for over a year I didn’t really miss it.) I couldn’t live in a flat without a garden as I spend all my time out there in the warmer months.
Can you get stairlifts for steep narrow stairs? I do worry about maintenance but I’m an old house person too. I have a very useful ex-husband who lives down the road and does lots of jobs for me.
I just love the idea of living on one floor but maybe it’s a pipe dream….
And I have an ancient cathedral on my doorstep and am a mere 20 minutes from London on the train (the station is a short walk.) I think I’ve talked myself out of it by posting so thank you for helping me think about it!

keepcalmandcavachon

Allira

undines

Bungalows and 'future-proofing' make me shudder! Stairs are excellent exercise. 'Use it or lose it' - focussing on decline can encourage it. Do what makes you happiest.

Yes, but you can lose it even if you live in a house. What then?
You have to pay someone to clean, garden, decorate, that is if you can find anyone.

I agree Allira, the future is out there and I'm gonna' be ready for it

There's a window of opportunity - don't miss it!

Right, I'm off up the wooden hills to Bedfordshire 😁

Allira

undines

Bungalows and 'future-proofing' make me shudder! Stairs are excellent exercise. 'Use it or lose it' - focussing on decline can encourage it. Do what makes you happiest.

Yes, but you can lose it even if you live in a house. What then?
You have to pay someone to clean, garden, decorate, that is if you can find anyone.

I agree Allira, the future is out there and I'm gonna' be ready for it

I feel you will know when you are ready to move. I moved to New Zealand to be near family. I am so lucky. Take your time ,good luck and much happiness

I agree that if a move is on the cards it is best to do it while you are fit enough. We found a bungalow that had been refurbished just 5 minutes away which was a perfect location. Also just 5 minutes from our GP, optician, pharmacy, hairdresser and barber, butcher, bakery, dentist, and Asda.
I was 72 and dh was 68. We are now 77 and 73. .We packed up a 3 bed semi with overflowimg garage. Feeling capable. We hired removal van and they were helped on the day by 2 strapping sons, 2 of their friends, 2 brothers. Unpacking the boxes was up to us and we ploughed on day after day after day. To 10 pm every night. For several weeks. Husband fell overstretching and tore his rotator cuff, still suffering 4 years later. My iffy back.played up and for 3 years now I have suffered severely with sciatica involvimg a 3 week stay in hospital. Discharged home to a hospital.bed and a care package twice daily which still continues. This meant installing a new walk in shower.

Please make sure you do not overdo it. Please know that outlays will be more than you anticipate. We have spent money like snow off a ditch upgrading refurbishment that on closer examination had been done to a very poor standard.

We have employed workmen to do jobs that before his injury, my husband could have done with his ehes closed. We now have a cleaner.
It gets harder as we age. I love the bungalow. However, It's advantages became necessary sooner then anticipated.
I just wish we had moved.ten years earlier.

undines

Bungalows and 'future-proofing' make me shudder! Stairs are excellent exercise. 'Use it or lose it' - focussing on decline can encourage it. Do what makes you happiest.

Ps how old are you? You don't have to answer 😀

undines

Bungalows and 'future-proofing' make me shudder! Stairs are excellent exercise. 'Use it or lose it' - focussing on decline can encourage it. Do what makes you happiest.

Yes, but you can lose it even if you live in a house. What then?
You have to pay someone to clean, garden, decorate, that is if you can find anyone.

crazyH

If you are planning to move, do it in your 60s

I agree.

If you are planning to move, do it in your 60s

Bungalows and 'future-proofing' make me shudder! Stairs are excellent exercise. 'Use it or lose it' - focussing on decline can encourage it. Do what makes you happiest.

Definitely start looking. It may take years to find a good place to downsize to. You can keep in touch via Zoom etc, and make new friends too.

Be careful with flats most are not sound proofed and you could end up with a war between your neighbours if they are noisy

I think I'd see if you can live on the ground floor, with adaptations. Moving is always a lot harder and more stressful than expected, in my experience. You can use the upstairs rooms as somewhere for family and friends to sleep over, and one or two of the rooms to store treasures (and clutter) you don't have room for in your newly compacted living space

LaCrepescule I moved 14 months ago to the property of my dreams, I was 69, I retired at the same time.

Being retired from a senior position in the NHS wouldn’t have worked if I’d stayed in London. Life is different but on the whole much better 🌷

You say that you want to move and make a new start, so go on looking for what suits you.

Try to find something on a bus route, as the day comes to us all when we no longer should drive, and perhaps cannot ride a bike or walk any great distance. Also, find a house near your doctor and a chemist.

I don't drive, but do still ride a bike and I have found that most large or bulky things can be bought online these days and either delivered to my address or to a pick-up point.
For me online banking is a must, as well.

I cannot second the advice to chose a dwelling without stairs. My parents made precisely that choice and within two or three years after retirement, neither could easily walk up or down stairs when they had to - and I was liveing at that time in a first floor flat in a building with a lift.

So I would suggest a bungalow is only a good idea if there is some building nearby such as a public library where you at least once a week walk up and down stairs, or otherwise that you do some form of physical training to compensate for the lack of stairs.

I would google
how to improve an edwardian terrace house uk

You want a project.

Location location location
So I wouldnt move.

We had a 4 bed detached house in a 1980’s estate where we brought up our family, but knew it was never our forever home, and the stairs were getting ‘steeper’ for me to get up, so just before we retired we moved to a 3 bed semidetached bungalow which actually cost us more than we sold the house for, however we have no regrets our new home is perfect for retirement, it has within a 5 minute walk a local minimart, doctor’s surgery, vets for the cats and pharmacy, it is also 140 yards from our youngest child’s house, just round the corner from us with their family making it easy for us to support them with childcare when needed. We are also on a bus route to our local hospital 15 minutes away should the ned arise in the future.
I have absolutely zero regrets about downsizing

mithered

I haven't heard that word in a long time! 😀

My gran was mithered by her adult children to move to a bungalow. She was becoming frail and had health problems. She eventually agreed to go on the council waiting list.
In the meantime, she had heating updated throughout the downstairs of her house and converted her front room into a bedroom. She still had to walk down to the end of the garden to use the loo and had a bath in the kitchen (yes, that’s where it was!) but it suited her no end. Her friends and neighbours all lived close by and some of her family. The house was part of her and she was part of it. Could that work for you?