Changing my name at 68

I kept my ex -husband's name One, because I continued to respect him .Two, because I liked my inlaws. Three ,because I like the name .

I never had this problem as I married someone with the same surname, I was quite disappointed that I never changed my name

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Norah

Currently, do women still change surname, at marriage, as often as in the past? Our daughters didn't even consider new names when marrying.

Our Yorkshire Lass married 3 years ago after living in civil partnership for 10 years. Her younger sister said oh your first name goes so well with what will be your married name. YL was horrified at the suggestion!

“I’ve got a name, I’ve had it 45 years and it’s who I am. I’ll be married but still want to be ‘me’”

We are all different in our choices. 😊

I agree. My name is mine, always has been.

Changing names at marriage seems far more common when I married -- than currently. Our daughters never changed names either.

I didn’t want to keep my Narcissist ex husband’s name so I decided to go back to my real maiden name. I say real because my dad was the youngest of 4 children. They all had the same surname. But the interesting thing was their father died in 1938 and my dad the youngest was born 2 years later!

My granny must have married my dad’s real dad eventually because she had the surname I have now when I knew her. I suppose for those days she was what would have been known as a naughty lady! Intriguing…

Juicylucy

I did mine after my divorce as I’m an only child and wanted to honour my dear dad. It’s very easy to do I did my passport and driving licence first. Go for it.

Yes, doing formal id first will be useful for others

I'm the other way round. I've kept my birth name albeit married for 46 years. It is difficult to change your name in modern life. My mother hated her Christian name and when she applied for her passport she crossed the name on her birth certificate and put her desired name. Now you would have to go through several hoops .

Norah

Currently, do women still change surname, at marriage, as often as in the past? Our daughters didn't even consider new names when marrying.

Our Yorkshire Lass married 3 years ago after living in civil partnership for 10 years. Her younger sister said oh your first name goes so well with what will be your married name. YL was horrified at the suggestion!

“I’ve got a name, I’ve had it 45 years and it’s who I am. I’ll be married but still want to be ‘me’”

We are all different in our choices. 😊

tanith

I once counted up the people I’d need to inform and when I got to 30+ which included pension providers, car tax and DVLA, land registry, utilities, banks, solicitor, local council, mobile phone, all my online purchase companies doctors,hospital the list grew and grew. I wish I had the patience. Well done those that have.

It's astonishing how many people say this sort of thing yet consider name change on marriage to be an automatic choice.

Currently, do women still change surname, at marriage, as often as in the past? Our daughters didn't even consider new names when marrying.

I live in a small town where I grew up ,I meet people every day who know me by my maiden name ,most recently at a funeral .I was approached by a man who I didn’t recognise who asked me which one of the daughters of A L R I was.
His dad played golf with my dad from the 60,s to the early 90,s when he died.
Being boring I like being Mrs Paddy,I ,veshared his name almost 51 years and our children were registered as his.
Changing back to my maiden name doesn,t make sense to me.
I’ve spent all my adult life with this name. I,d be swapping one man’s name for another man’s name …why? I,m perfectly happy being his wife.

WithNobsOnIt

I was thinking of changing my name to Pussy Galore just for the fun of it.

Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe eat your heart out.

When I told my AC I was changing my surname, my daughter said "Why not be inventive? Sinatra? Minogue?"
Nah! Too much faff and never been a pretentious person, so I reverted to my (boring) birth surname.

I so understand.

This may seem weird, and I'm not in anyway criticising anyone, but neither time I got married did I want to change my name. It was like giving my identity away in some way.

Having said that, (as I said above, my son got my name and DH's as middle name)

I would not have done it for my son's sake if it had not been historically OK to do it, post changes in attitudes to women, especially in the circles we moved in. Result, a crop of DGC in my surname, and my brother managed two as well.

Oh gosh, I really think I ought to do it, thank you! I don’t know what possessed me to change my and my daughter’s names when I got married to her father and she says she prefers my name anyway.
My family name will die with me as neither of my brothers have children. But to spend my remaining years being me again would be lovely!

I'm the same, reverting decades ago. I still had my teenage passport, so getting a passport in my family name wasn't difficult. I didn't show birth certificate, just wrote to bank etc, though I did wait until I changed jobs, moved etc.

Bazza

Our youngest daughter wanted to change the spelling of her Christian name as it was always being mispronounced. My fault. But when she enquired it was so complicated she didn’t bother, so many documents, birth certificate, marriage certificate, bank details, mortgage, driving licence, and those are just the ones that spring to mind. This was some years ago so perhaps it has become simpler. So she has carried on correcting people!

She could retain the hard - to -pronounce name for official purposes and for social purposes she can choose any name she likes. My sister in law did this with no problem.

Our youngest daughter wanted to change the spelling of her Christian name as it was always being mispronounced. My fault. But when she enquired it was so complicated she didn’t bother, so many documents, birth certificate, marriage certificate, bank details, mortgage, driving licence, and those are just the ones that spring to mind. This was some years ago so perhaps it has become simpler. So she has carried on correcting people!

I was thinking of changing my name to Pussy Galore just for the fun of it.

Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe eat your heart out.

I changed my surname twice I didn't think it was a particular hassle. The result being the name you want to be called is worth it.

When I remarried at the age of 65, I decided to go back to my maiden name. I got the wording of the deed of change of name from the gov.uk website, signed (with both my old and new names) a dozen copies in front of two friends who then signed them in turn as witnesses. That was sufficient to satisfy banks, DVLA, solicitors, passport office, HMRC, etc. It was not onerous and cost very little, mostly because I didn't use a solicitor (no need).

I changed mine – slightly – when I was 75. I’d always been known by my maiden name, through two marriages, because it’s short and obvious and I’d always been a teacher and children could spell it. For some reason, although my husband’s surname was spelt exactly how it sounded, and pronounced exactly how it looked, somehow nobody could get it right. And I’d always loved the name. I went out with him at 16 (we lost one another for 35 years!) and I used to write my first name against his surname in my rough book at school (as y’do), but when we reunited, I never took it.

A year after his death, I decided to add it to my own surname, American style, no hyphen, and was advised to do it by deed poll. The certificates still make me laugh, because I was forswearing my old name (call it Sue Smith) and promising only to be known henceforth as Sue Smith Paradise (or whatever). B*+*%#% that, I thought: Sue Smith would remain my professional name, as I was now a private music teacher and a musical director.

I also more than doubled the length of my signature!

Just do it! It's very important to have the right name.
I changed mine some years ago from abroad - so x2 the people to tell, and it was easy even then.
Especially now you can send off the info with a bcc email to most bodies!
I found this list / info page as a starter:
raydensolicitors.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/Rayden-Solicitors-Change-of-Name-Deeds-Checklist.pdf

Good Luck!

PaperMonster2

Just go for it! You don’t need to do Deed Poll - you only take a married name as a courtesy, so it doesn’t need a legal change. Just gradually start contacting all the places you need to notify. I changed my name back when I divorced and won’t change it again.

Agreed.

No reason to have ever taken a married name, you're not property. Just change your name and contact those who must be notified.

Just to add there were comparatively few people I needed to inform back in the 1980s as I had no credit cards and did not drive. Going forward I simply used the nex name.

I did mine after my divorce as I’m an only child and wanted to honour my dear dad. It’s very easy to do I did my passport and driving licence first. Go for it.

I changed my name back in the 1980s when I went to uni. I wanted to make a new start after divorce. I did not like my single name so I just selected another one from my family which I liked the sound of.

I got a statutory declaration form from a law stationers and had it witnessed by my doctor. I just stated that I was changing my name and would henceforth be known as XX. Then I wrote to my bank, tax etc and informed them. When my passport expired I used the document to change the name in my passport.

This is called changing your name "by usage" and is completely legal. You can call yourself anything you like so long as its not for a fraudulent purpose. Back in those days deed poll was more complex but I believe its quite simple now and you can do it online.

Also back in those days institutions like universities did not check your ID but simply accepted the identity you presented them with. All my degrees are in my new name. No one was ever interested in what I did before I became a graduate.