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The sandwich generation

(30 Posts)
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Exhausted01 Wed 18-Feb-26 12:04:17

I don't really know where I'm going with this post. Well I do but it might be a bit of a ramble.
Does anyone else feel overwhelmed being in the middle of caring for elderly parents and grandchildren whilst also trying to enjoy their own life all while working as well ?
Hubby and I both have our Mums who are getting older
One has quite a few health problems the other just needs help shopping. Ipad problems etc . Not major issues but time consuming and frustrating.
We also have 2 grandsons who we adore and another being born in the next few weeks.
Hubby works 4 days a week . He will be cutting down another day next year.
I got made redundant but found another job where I work part time but there is overtime available.
I have always worked part time but with this job I am really enjoying being able to earn a bit of overtime money and really feel that I am contributing to all the things Hubby and I want to do before we're too old.
We are both very conscious of the fact that we don't know how much time our mums have left and also with our older grandsons especially the eldest one how long we have left of being ' cool ' before long he'll be off with his friends and not wanting to come to sleepovers etc.
No one takes advantage of us but I do feel overwhelmed with life at the moment.
When the new baby comes my daughter will need a bit of extra help although she is very independent its just going to be a change and I don't do change very well.
In the last 5 years we have both lost our Dad's. We lost a grand dog who I loved so much. Hubby has had 2 cancer scares had a wobble job wise . We nearly lost my mother in law and I got made redundant.
I feel like thats a lot to deal with.
Our Mums both don't want to be a nuisance but they need our help .
I just want to hide away somewhere for a while.

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Summerlove Thu 19-Feb-26 19:51:08

It’s exhausting. I have one good friend dealing with elderly parents and her own young children.

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SporeRB01 Thu 19-Feb-26 20:43:08

Does the parent who has a few health problems receives attendance allowance?

If she managed to get attendance allowance, you could then apply for carers allowance for yourself provided you are below state pension age and receives less than £196 per week from your part time job.

Ask Age UK for help.

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EmilyHarburn Fri 20-Feb-26 12:13:01

My friend who has husband son grandchildren father etc. all needing attention. has one day off a week. She makes sure that her care duties are covered and goes out. she has been doing this for years. If I am at home I ring her up and ask if she woud like to come to tea after she has run her errancds and doen whatever she wants to doon her day out and if she is local not away she ofter comes round for a late tea.

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SueEH Sat 21-Feb-26 20:53:35

I lost my dad in October and the last four years - after mum died - were hellish; trying to work and care for/organise him from 100 miles away. My children are adults but still need some input.
Dad and I weren’t close and had virtually nothing in common. He had very, shall we say, old fashioned views and alienated the kids years ago.
I feel that I should be grieving but I’m not. I’m just starting to feel free.
My children know that I didn’t have them to care for me in my old age.

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