A question on over-thinking

I suspect my overthinking began when my children were young. We lived a long way from family and I had no support. I was anxious, aware of the responsibility for the safety and well being of two tiny children, and very demanding husband. I tried to anticipate and prepare for every scenario, even those beyond my control. And the habit stuck. Until my daughter told me (nicely) that I overthink I hadn’t even realised I did it and her tendency to just take things as they come seemed ridiculous to me. Now I can see that overthinking has contributed to my general anxiety and I am trying hard to distract myself. Easier said than done though.

Overthinking, that is repetitive, unproductive mental processing that doesn’t lead to better understanding or action, isn't helpful

Some people naturally spend more time with their thoughts; are more reflective by default, often examine ideas from multiple angles.

Ask yourself “Is this thinking helping me move forward? If not ask yourself:

What would a reasonable next step be?”
What would I advise someone else to do?

Write it down. Overthinking thrives in the head; it weakens on paper.

Set a stopping rule, eg., “I’ll think about this for 15 minutes, then decide.”
It helps close loops.

Accept ‘good enough’ understanding. Depth doesn’t require total certainty.

Being who you are may mean deep thinking comes naturally to you. That's neither a good or a bad thing. It's just a you thing.

madeleine45

I think it depends on what you are overthinking about. There are some subjects that you can meander on about for a long time. However for an example, if you see a tear in your carpet, where you can catch your foot, you do need to think what your options are from buying a new carpet, to getting it mended, or taking it up. But it is important that you make a decision and follow this through quickly or you could have a fall. Trying to decide where you might like to go on holiday, will only mean that if you leave it for a long time they may be fully booked and you will not have that option. Whilst you can spend as long as you like thinking whether you want to change the colour of your raincoat or sheets. It is recognizing which category something belongs to that is important.

Absolutely this!
Thinking is good, how could it not be, but overthinking is as bad as underthinking.
Ask yourself how much a decision one way or another really matters and go from there.

DH is a deep thinker, I think I’m an over thinker. He is often surprised when I put forwards all the possible things that can go wrong with life.
He uses evidence and rationale to assure me that it will all be ok. It often is.

Did anyone ever tell Einstein not to overthink?
I do think this is almost always aimed at women.

Lathyrus3

Deep thinking is logical and almost always teaches a decision or a solution. Usually at the end you feel positive and satisfied.

Over thinking is emotional and repeats the same pattern over and over and almost never reaches a conclusion. Usually it leaves you feeling unsatisfied and drained.

I agree with this and also Mum2three. Deep thinkers can also be over-thinkers at times, but over-thinkers are rarely deep thinkers. This is just my experience.
Over thinking is definately linked to anxiety.

Madeleine has it right - some things need to be thought through from every angle, others don’t need or deserve such effort. I suppose the trick is knowing which is which.

Deep thinking is logical and almost always teaches a decision or a solution. Usually at the end you feel positive and satisfied.

Over thinking is emotional and repeats the same pattern over and over and almost never reaches a conclusion. Usually it leaves you feeling unsatisfied and drained.

I agree with madeleine45.

Overthinking is often linked to anxiety, not always though.
Deep breathing is the answer to stop your brain going into overdrive.
When your deep breathing your counting and being aware of your breath.

I do over think so much so that I think myself out of making decisions.

I used to be quite decisive so get annoyed with myself for putting off getting things done.

With greatest respect Nana8 you ve been over over thinking in a recent thread you started Saying no more

I think it depends on what you are overthinking about. There are some subjects that you can meander on about for a long time. However for an example, if you see a tear in your carpet, where you can catch your foot, you do need to think what your options are from buying a new carpet, to getting it mended, or taking it up. But it is important that you make a decision and follow this through quickly or you could have a fall. Trying to decide where you might like to go on holiday, will only mean that if you leave it for a long time they may be fully booked and you will not have that option. Whilst you can spend as long as you like thinking whether you want to change the colour of your raincoat or sheets. It is recognizing which category something belongs to that is important.

Not meaning to be a smart arse but I think you are over thinking overthinking. Best phrase for me is c’est la vie. Very wise, the French.

There are times when you wish your mind had an 'off' switch! However, if you have a problem and distract yourself with something completely irrelevant, you often come to a solution. Yesterday, I was struggling over a crossword. I just couldn't make any sense of it. I left it and did some sewing. When I picked up the paper later, it didn't take long for me to figure it out and I finished the crossword in no time.

I m sure I overthink and probably always have, I go over and over things in my brain, even to the point of going over the same thing and coming up with the same solutions.
I don’t really let it worry me or try to change it I am what I am.

Kiwibird. Me, too! I can't help it. Wonder why we do it? I like to talk things over and think things through.