What would you do?

So glad you got it sorted, narrowboatnan! Hope you have a lovely time catching up with friends in your hometown. (And enjoy the hot tub this chilly weather !)

I would do what makes you feel happiest. You don't want to go and fret about the outcome. However, I'd be hopping mad if my hubby thought it was ok to tell me I couldn't do something . After all it's his daughter too and he's the one that decided to opt out of the arrangement.

I think narrowboatnan has had offers now and all will be fine.
👍

Susiewong65, I think that’s an excellent idea. Turn it into a mini holiday 😊

Why doesn’t your husband join for for the last couple of days and then you can return home together.

Tell him you are.going and if he is that bothered either he comes and collects you or you do as you want and go on train. My puppy loves a train ride.

narrowboatnan

There have been some really funny and some really helpful suggestions, thank you all so much. I’ve had three offers of a lift home from friends, all of whom are itching to see my boaty home.

I can’t have my DD’s dogs here, they are two very energetic Red Setters and there simply isn’t room.

I’m actually looking forward to going, it’s my ‘home town’ and I have a list of friends to catch up with. Besides, DD has a hot tub in the garden that I’m looking forward to trying out

Have fun! Lovely offers, good decision!

If it were me I would go and do the dog and house sit for DD and I would decline the offer of a lift over from my DH. That way he doesnt get to have a say in any of the arrangements because none of them involve him and he hasnt done me a favour. If the price of getting a lift over is interference from other half then other half has crossed a line so far as I am concerned. Although I admit I am independent to a fault. I would either drive myself and take the car, or get a hire car with a pick up near home and drop off near the destination, or go on the train and leave the puppy at home. I would not only do the house and pet sit, I would probably clean the entire house, re-stock the groceries and cook a fabulous meal for the returning family. Indeed I have done all those things. I remember so well how hard I had to work when my children were small and what little help I had from any family member. I never want my 'kids' to go through that. Perhaps I am too soft on them?

Surely you could stay over until DD or her DH are recovered enough to bring you home. You are putting yourself out to house and dog sit after all. Or, leave the dog at home and go by train. No way would I do that journey with puppy and a suitcase. Do you drive? If so, why not use a car.

What about dh and dd meeting halfway on both occasions and swapping you over. We used to do that when kids went to stay with grandparents.

You didn’t mention the hot tub - that’s why your DH doesn’t want to stay. He’s heard all sorts about these hot tub parties and doesn’t have the right bathers for it!!!

There have been some really funny and some really helpful suggestions, thank you all so much. I’ve had three offers of a lift home from friends, all of whom are itching to see my boaty home.

I can’t have my DD’s dogs here, they are two very energetic Red Setters and there simply isn’t room.

I’m actually looking forward to going, it’s my ‘home town’ and I have a list of friends to catch up with. Besides, DD has a hot tub in the garden that I’m looking forward to trying out

Graygirl

Keep on with the doll and pins, advice from my DH.

This really did make me laugh out loud! Doll is back in the cupboard - for now 😈

I wouldn't give in to him myself, but I can be stubborn, I would ask your son first , but as a back up plan have train times and fares at the ready for booking. Another alternative would be your son / daughter take you half way and your husband pick you up for the remaining part of the journey.
I am not sure if you are like me but I would probably stock up the fridge and prepare some meals for him to heat up. But I would knock that on the head, leave him cope home alone. Hope you enjoy your week to yourself. Have you got to take your dog with you or isn't he capable of looking after it as well as repairing his boat. The journey home on the train would be easier without the dog.

hamster58

I see you offered to do this and when your husband changed his mind from staying with you, he’s still offering to take you. I actually don’t think up to that point he’s being unreasonable in thinking the younger family members should offer to bring you home. He’s being considerate in thinking the journey by train won’t be easy for you. Sometimes our children get so used to us offering to help they don’t think to reciprocate (should but don’t!) so I don’t think it unreasonable to say to your daughter that Dad’s bringing me but he’s going to be busy at the end of the holiday, so can she or her husband do the return journey. Not easy to ask I know, but not unreasonable. I think his current stance is made out of subconscious frustration, more than bossiness, maybe feeling you do a lot but don’t get much back maybe.

Nail on the head moment, hamster. Absolutely spot on. He knows he was out of order telling me I couldn’t go if DD didn’t bring me back, so he’s taking me and has accepted that I’ll have to stay over for an extra day so that either she or my lovely SiL can be rested and bring me back

Keep on with the doll and pins, advice from my DH.

rowyn

Whilst I appreciate that this forum is great for sharing problems, I feel this request is a step too far. We are NOT Marriage Guidance counsellors. !

I wasn’t asking for marriage guidance or counselling

123ish

Leave your dog with husband. At the end of your house sitting meander home staying at interesting places. Plenty of art galleries, National Trust properties etc.

Love this suggestion 😃

Why does she need a house sitter ? Just lock up and leave her dog in your house , I’d be bored stiff in someone else’s house

grandtanteJE65

Keep your mouth shut right now, go to your daughter's as planned, and take the train home. If you fear the puppy may wee in the wrong place, take a damp floorcloth in a plastic bag with you and a bottle of water for mopping up.

Arrive home with no notice given, and if your darling daugher's daddy is still in the huff, tell him to be his age.

Poor choice of words, he is being his age, I suspect - grumpy old man, tell him to put a sock in it!

Lol! My sentiments exactly!

keepingquiet

You have offered to house-sit. this says to me that you would like to do it and were not asked, but your DD accepted your offer.

You are expecting DH to accommodate your choice even though he has stated clearly his intentions.

You have three choices here it seems to me:

Don't go and let someone else care for the dog

Go and enjoy your stay and make your own way home.

Ask your son

I don't see what the issue is here at all.

The big issue for me is being told that ‘if she doesn’t bring you home, then you’re not going!’ That really got my hackles up and made me feel all Pfft! And Grr!

I agree your DH should not be telling you what to do ! However I can see his point of view, he is happy to take you but thinks a family member should bring you home - I sort of get that. You are saving your DD a lot of money , kennel fees are not cheap - cost me a fortune to put my cat in the cattery for two weeks! Speak to your DD and DS and see what they can come up with. Two train changes with or without a puppy does not sound much fun . You are doing your DD and SIL a massive favour so the ball is in their court , although you did offer your services.
Perhaps it might be easier for you if you arrived by train and your DH brought you home. At least then you would feel more relaxed during your stay knowing the difficult bit is behind you. Good luck .

Why can’t the daughter bring her dog to you then no one is put out I couldn’t bear to be in someone else’s house on your own twiddling fingers for two weeks
What can you do in someone else’s house for two weeks I don’t blame your husband at all he probably said yes at the time and then thought it through and realise it would be two weeks of pure boredom

Tell him you are taking the car ? Talk to son——- sell the boat,
Definitely tell him you are leaving the puppy as it’s too much trouble,best of luck with the whole situation,but I’d not let your daughter down,sad he’s too busy to collect his wife.

Continue to stick pins in your little wax doll, how dare he tell you what to do. You are not a child......
I wouldn't take the train back with the dog and luggage though it would be too much for you. Explain everything to your dd and see what she suggests.
If all else fails l personally would get a taxi home and charge it to Not dh.