Should we say anything?

I think this is a case of 'least said soonest mended' kircubbin.

Give her a ring and have a chat with her. That’s what I would do,anyway.

Agree with Smileless

Poor lady. Not everyone was brought up with technology. Let’s all help each other. I just had a cataract removed and it went wrong. I was petrified as was the consultant doing the procedure. She brought in a senior consultant to guide her through it and all is expected to be well after a month. That’s their job. A very complicated one. My job? I started as a shorthand typist at 15 as I was able to get into secretarial college at 14. Not my choice of career at all. Wanted to be a doctor but my parents were horrified at such an idea. Anyway, technology is now my thing. Won’t bore you with the details but not every person over 70 has the equipment or the know how. It’s unfair.

Catterygirl, thank you!

I hate smart phones but have been pushed into using one and taking out a contract because BT f****d up my landline. Ok so I compained loudly and got some compensation and a free phone and a smart hub from them. However I would prefer to go back to my old phones which had nothing wrong with them.

I think that many people feel angry and bitter about how change is being forced upon them when there is nothing fundamentally wrong with the knowledge they already have. You get to a point where youve invested a lot into the system - work, improving your qualifications, service to the community, taxes paid, and you feel that you have done your bit. So why are you being pushed to do and learn yet more???

Biglouis

I agree. This paying at the supermarket. Our local is Sainsbury’s and after paying we have to scan the receipt to be allowed out of the store. My mum now in heaven, could never have coped with that.

The person who laughed and said ask GC should have been told how rude they were straight away.

i would offer help alone she may be lonely
does she have computer /can do most thing on a computer
if not ... dos the uk have librarys to teach the basis of commutering she might like to have a email account/ i started a class in our library to get( people all ages) chance to see if they wanted to learn...some stayed other did not want to do it.
same as teaching to reading/someone has to teach and open the doors.
sorry i have 2 strokes and my communication chops are bad now
happy holidays

Catterygirl, sorry to go off topic, but why were your parents horrified at the idea of your being a doctor.
i'd have thought most parents would be pleased.

This sounds one of those things that no harm was intended at all The lady was obviously over sensitive about tech which she wasn’t knowledgable about and that’s a shame but I don’t think anyone did anything wrong, when something like that happens people usually just laugh it off with a comment like that of your friend “the grandkids will do it for you” etc
No I wouldn’t bring it up or apologise or anything that may make her even more embarrassed just make sure you don’t talk tech stuff if she comes out with you again in the future
It wasnt done maliciously Just a bit thoughtless but you don’t remember everything about a persons knowledge at the time of a conversation

Readhead
I can’t see anything rude or offensive in that comment, it’s probably what I might have said, most of my limited IT knowledge I’ve learned from my grandchildren, no shame in that surely?

I think 'ask the grandchildren' is just a very commonly used, light hearted expression. No rudeness intended.
Could you ask this lady round for coffee perhaps. Just for a friendly chat with no mention of technology and her seeming to be upset. If the subject naturally comes up in conversation then you will be able to smooth things over with her. But otherwise I wouldn't refer to the awkward conversation.

Yes, the lady may have felt inferior but she also may have found all the technology chat boring as she certainly wouldn’t have been able to contribute much.
As for the suggestion to ask the grandchildren for help - indeed that’s a good idea as they pick up new information so quickly and easily and could guide her.

I think she felt worse because she has been for some lessons but couldn't work the computer and I know she wouldn't spend money to get a phone contract although I believe you can use the Internet in cafes etc. Is that true?

I have a neighbour who likes to brag at how useless she is with technology. She only does Facebook and Candy Crush.

I have offered (not that I am an expert) to show her Google, GN, rightmove, etc., but she does not answer.

I don't think anyone did anything wrong - the get a grandchild to help you comment is part of general parlance these days - and very true!

I think you have all just discovered how over-sensitive this lady is and need to decide whether it is least said soonest mended or whether having a chat and offering help with this is the best way to go. It slightly depends how well you all know her. Perhaps the one who knows her best could have a chat with her.

Yes ,one of the ladies is going to call with her today.

Or perhaps, not being ‘into’ technology, she just found the conversation boring and felt excluded.

I meet up with a small group of friends now and again. I was the first to have GC, my youngest is nearly 16. The others have much younger ones, babies and ones starting school etc.

I don’t think I went on a lot about mine when they were small, and didn’t flash round heaps of photos etc, but do find at our meet ups that their GC and their doings dominate the conversations. Plus lots of photos to view on their phones, (not available so much years ago).

I feel a bit excluded, but realise this is how things are, and can sympathise with the OP if she felt ‘out’ of it.

Libraries have computers that you can use to access the internet. Think you have to book a time to use them. I don't know if you have a time limit or if you have to pay.

I know the Brain Charity gives lessons to people for free to teach them to use computers and smartphones . Other charities may do to.

I had to embrace technology and my daughter and family brought me a smartphone for Christmas 2019. I use it for everything. During COVID lockdowns I would have been lost without it. Do most of my shopping on it and have the NHS app so I can order my repeat prescription also have my banks app and northern train app.

Renewing my blue badge was easy I did it in my phone including sending a picture of myself. Mind you took me a few attempts to get a good selfie as they wanted a head shot to include my shoulders.

I have a neurological condition which means I can't take information in straight away that's why I have to write down instructions to work things. Also have to read instruction manuals few times to understand how the operate things. If I don't write things I need to remember on certain days on my calendar I forget.

The lady may be like me and when she took the computer course she may have need to write down the instructions so she could understand and remember what to do.

I took to technology like a duck to water and pick things up instinctively but this has been a skill developing over 30 years. In fact, we learned basic programming and were drawing flow charts when I was at s hool in the early 1979s. However I have sympathy for the lady who has absolutely no idea. It's no good telling her to ask the grandchildren as they will not have the patience to explain the basics, things that they have always done quite naturally. Someone of our generation with not even a basic understanding will not have these instincts - how to recognise symbols, what to click on and not to click on, where to be looking on the screen.

I do find it hard to believe that she has no knowledge at all, but there are always those who slipped through the net. They will not only realise that there is a whole world they know nothing about, but they feel left out and snubbed by the rest of us and now out of stubbornness refuse to have anything to do with it. It must be very daunting for them, and I'm not surprised she reacted like that.

DOH! 1970s! Not 1979s!!!

At least if she uses no online "tech" she is less likely to be scammed apart from the landline. So that's one silver lining.

Perhaps she was feeling just a bit left out. Like older women with no grandchildren, widows and those estranged from AC can feel. But does it mean no one else can discuss GC or husbands/wives or AC. Perhaps we should all be a bit more aware if the subject in discussion goes on too long or is too exclusive and someone is feeling left out. That is a message to myself as well.

I don't think that trying to use a computer at the library will help this person's confidence much She really needs to get herself a laptop and just keep experimenting/plus do a course somewhere. You could help her by finding a local course, there are usually loads available at local colleges.. I think it's really difficult nowadays not having at least a basic knowledge of how to use a computer.. and it also opens up a whole new world of knowledge and communication.. enable her.. she's not stupid just somehow missed out on the learning process.