Was I wrong? What would you do?

I too would have been suspiscous of a garbled story and felt that the woman was trying to get into my house.

You would surely know if there had been a fire in the neighbourhood, and anyone who could afford to travel to Spain ought to be able to afford to buy groceries.

In short I would have done as you did, especially as I got the feeling that the woman who came to your door was a complete stranger.

You did the right thing. The benefit system and the help out there is amazing actually. I see how it works from the work I do. I know if you listen to the news we are are a terrible country that does nothing for anyone but it’s not the case. A few may slips through but the majority are sorted.

knows.....

I was in the supermarket last week when a lady, a little frail and I think older than me, came towards me. We smiled at each other and she stopped and said 'do you have any change?'

I was completely taken aback and said genuinely, 'for what?'.

The smile immediately disappeared and the woman walked off. I was baffled for a few seconds as to what had just occurred and watched as she accosted other customers, many of whom opened purses and gave her money - but I didn't spot any change being given! I believe this lady was begging but in a targeted way.

I may have given her money if I had better understood what it was she wanted. Friends have suggested that I ought to have alerted the supermarket's staff but I felt a little sorry for her in case she was genuinely in need. I don't think she was but who know...s.

Some years ago a woman with her dog turned up on my doorstep and asked for money for her electricity meter. I had seen her knocking around but I didn’t oblige because I didn’t want her coming back constantly, if she knew I would cough up.

I wish however that I had given it to her, because I felt eaten up with guilt, and still feel mean to this day. Also nowadays I would be inclined to believe her.

A friend who was a detective said someone went round her area asking to use the loo as she was pregnant. She took easily hidden objects such as credit cards or phones so not immediately missed.
My friend told us to say the police had been round to advise against allowing any stranger in under any circumstance. The other robbery excuse is for water testing

I think I would have done the same as you Tanith and then worried about it! I think you did the right thing and, actually, I’m glad you alerted us to it.

I would of said no , I just about have enough to feed myself !!!

We have been warned on our local fb page about a woman knocking on doors asking for money for baby food. She has no baby. The money is for drugs.

Excessive new housing has brought so many new people into our village and drug use is a real problem.

No I wouldn’t have given her anything nor feel guilty I’d have told her where our local food bank is which is near by

I’m quite shocked at the people on here who would fall for this on the basis of being kind. This isn’t about being kind, this is about people trying to find out if you are vulnerable and if they can use you somehow. Please don’t use being kind as a reason for doing this sort of thing, it’s dangerous to the vulnerable. These people are absolutely thieves. They are not collecting on behalf of anyone except themselves. Donate to the food bank and do it safely.

We’ve been warned non-stop about scams in the last few weeks - I’d have weighed up whether the story was believable, probably decided it wasn’t, and said ‘no’. I think the clever thing is that she’s meant to be collecting for someone else! Don’t feel guilty, there are so many places the friend could turn to if she needs food, as have been mentioned. I know, for example, that our local Cathedral has a charity ‘larder’ from which they can give food away to anyone in need who turns to them. I wouldn’t be surprised if your local council could provide a list of groups who will give food to those in need.

It depends on your resources, but I think I’d be willing to do a food shop for someone in need. I once stopped to ask a young woman with a dog outside a supermarket if I could get her anything, and she asked me for some own-brand dog food, which I was happy to get her.

Probably the same as you or ask her more questions

Good to know that you have a kind neighbour though

No, I think you were wise. I learned my lesson a few years back when a "pregnant" girl ran out of petrol, left her purse at home and was worried she wouldn't be able to collect her children from school. So muggins here gave her all the cash I had in the house. My daughter said she probably removed the "foetus" further down the road. I don't buy anything from the doorstep now either or register a direct debit with a bona fidi charity. I am mean lol.

You ask her to come back in an hour's time, and in that interval, you put some food into a bag, and maybe something nice, too, like a scarf. That way, she does not have to come inside, or wait near a closed or open door.

I wouldn’t mind betting the woman is doing very well indeed out of her “begging”. I’d have sent her away and shut the door too.

You did the right thing….I’d have reported her to the police too….outrageous!

Sadly, there are so many scams and crooks, you can't tell which requests are genuine.

Scam. While you were getting food, they may have gained entry. You just can't be too careful.

I would have done the same as you and not felt guilty. Now I’ve read what M0nica wrote I’d probably ring the police too. I do give to food banks and homelessness charities, but that story doesn’t ring true to me.

The police in my area advise asking who it is through the door before opening it, so I would have said ‘No, sorry’ through the door.

There is a website called Nextdoor (nextdoor.co.uk) where neighbours tell each other about this sort of thing.

Good advice from a local crime prevention website.

If its food, and I have extra, then yes I definitely would give some, we never know if we will ever be in this situation and hope somebody might be kind enough.

I dont think you were mean. Just looking out for yourself.

Many years ago I had 2 men in high vis jackets trying to scam their way into my house to "check a gas leak". I called the police who checked with the gas company and they had no gangs out investigating leaks. That made me very wary.

As I am single and live alone so I am now very careful who I answer the door to.

The ring doorbell is your friend! You can see who it is (on your phone or other mobile device) and decide whether to answer without opening the door, You can also dismiss people without risk by "inventing" a reason why you cant get to the door (ill in bed/in bathroom/not dressed etc)

Mine has now added the ability to answer in different voices so I have the option of answering as a "man" in quite a deep voice and saying sorry my aunt is out/in bed/not available. There is also a very offputting mechanical voice which sounds like a robot.

The problem here is that once you give from your home the person could return. I never entertain anyone cold calling at my house. They could also be people casing your house and you for future break in etc. I learned this last bit from the police who came to check my house had enough security. They say never get involved with anyone at your door that you don't know.
And I wouldn't have felt guilty in your situation as I give food to food banks and this person could go to one. But its not easy I know.