Thoughts on thank yous

Surely they say thank you when you hand the gift over? If you are looking for more than that, I doubt you'll get it. If they say nothing when you hand it over, try saying "I hope you like it" or "I can change it if you don't like it", and see if they reply. If you are sending a gift and not receiving thanks, I would text and ask if they got the gift and say I hope they liked it. that might elicit some response.

If you open the present in front of the giver and say thank you, I think that’s probably enough.

However, if the gift isn’t opened until later, personally I think it’s only polite to thank the giver again, once you know what the gift is.

Just a thought. Are you perhaps a bit too OTT in your thanks?

It’s good to show you are pleased with a thoughtful gift, but being over-effusive in your thanks might be a bit embarrassing, and a reason for them to want to tone it down a bit.

But of course you should be thanked when you give someone a present, either at the time or later after opening it.

This topic comes up a lot, which makes me think that there has been a generational shift. I always thank people for gifts, and it's nice to be thanked when I give presents to others. But it does seem as though effusive thanks have fallen from fashion, and it causes so much heartache that I think it's time that older people realised that it's not personal. A text, or a message on Facebook is still a thank you, and I agree that if someone has said thanks when given a gift that covers it. Life is busier now, and there are so many ways of communicating, that the days of formal thank you letters are in the past. I have had some recently for wedding presents and baby gifts, but long after the event, as both are busy times for the recipients. For less auspicious occasions I usually get a thanks in person, a text to say something has been delivered, or sometimes a photo on FB with 'look what mum got me' or similar, and that's enough.

People get similarly upset about cards, and again, I think it's very much a case of times changing, and it's such a shame when people take it personally and see it as a lack of care, when it really isn't. Please try not to take it to heart.