Grandson

Oh dear, that is sad. Let your son know you will always be a gran, and are interested in spending time with GS. Can you reach out to the mother directly? Just let her know you don't want to interfere, but would like to spend time with grandson.

Your ex DIL may want nothing to do with the family if there are bad feelings, but try to reassure that you only have the interest of the child in your heart .

I'm afraid to say ultimately it is out of your control, but if you offer love and time it may be accepted with grace.

You cannot make him love his son and with his current attitude, it is probably better that he doesn't see him.

He will almost certainly regret his decision in later life but will not realise that now.

Could you contact the mother so that you could see your grandson more often? Completely separate from your son.

It must be a sad situation for you, I do hope it all improves for all concerned.

I'm so sorry.

I wish I had some good advice for you but I don't know how you would convince him to love his child.

What did I just read !!! east12 . Your son doesn’t want contact with his son? It’s so wrong - I am so sad for the child and for you. As TheExwife suggested, try and get in touch with the little boy’s mother and see if you can arrange to see the little one regularly. Even my callous ex-husband wanted to see his children, although it all depended on the whims of his new partner.
Hope you are able to work things out. Good luck !

east12, I have one set of grandchildren that I only get to see two or three times a year (in person, not on Zoom) simply because they live a three hour drive away.

When my daughter split from her boyfriend, he saw my grandson regularly. Suddenly, though, he said it upset him too much - so he was thinking about not seeing him again until he was much older.

I was really shocked and said that you can never make up for lost time - and how could he even think about abandoning his own child. He reconsidered and they are close as ever now, in regular contact, despite both parents having new partners and other children.

Sorry, but in my opinion, just another example of a selfish, uncaring man ready to walk away from his child.
He sounds very unpleasant.

If you have even a basic contact with GS mum then I would try to cement that and make it grow totally on her terms. She may be very wounded right now and see you as in league with the 'enemy'. Wisdom and gentleness could find a way through for the three of you. I hope so. Treat your son as a totally separate entity as, indeed, he is. Good luck. I feel for you.

I am so sorry for this situation. As others have suggested try to maintain contact with you ex daughter in law. My husband doesn't want to see his son and wouldn't let me website Xmas card I would normally have done this year.

Very sad for this little boy who will grow up feeling abandoned by his father.
If yiu can establish a positive relationship with his mother, maybe you can have contact.