Failure to thrive grandson

Long ago, when I was born, my mother was unable to provide enough breast milk for me and I was still at my birth weight at 6 weeks. The response then was to weigh me before and after breast feeding and top up with formula milk.

I am not recommending this. Just reporting practice in the past. I am with everyone else in saying that the mother has taken medical advice, so the problem is noticed and in hand, so step back and do not offer any opinion.

I am nearly 80 and still going strong, fit snd healthy and not on medication, so my failing to thrive for a couple of months clearly did me no harm.

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I’ve reported the spam.
nadateturbe it’s not a current thread, a spammer re started it.
(I agree too)

Ditto what Lucca said.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

My gc was allergic to dairy, made him quite ill when he was being breastfed.

Actually dairy intolerance could be an issue. My DGS was very, very tetchy for months after birth despite being solely breastfed and improved markedly after my DD cut out dairy after seeing a paediatrician who also diagnosed an egg allergy. She fed until 15 months in order to provide calcium. He is on the milk ladder at stage 4 now, I think and now eating goods baked with a little butter, eggs and cheese in (but not uncooked yet) and does appear to be outgrowing his intolerance. He is a large 18 month old though despite only having Oatly milk. DD has multiple allergies though not to dairy.

Breast milk is all he needs and formula isn’t necessary as breast milk contains everything a human baby needs. Stop worrying

Of course, you worry - that is what mothers and grandmothers do.

But do try not to.

And don't give any more unsolicitated advice - your son has made it clear neither he nor his wife want to hear your opinion.

So however hard it is, and naturally, it is hard, try to believe that the health visitor knows what she is talking about.

My grandmother maintained that my father ( her second child) put on barely any weight at all for the first three months of his life and she was out of her mind with worry, but their G,P. said everything was all right.

He was right too, my father lived to the age of 89 with barely a day's ill-health and weighed at 89 the same as he had done at 17, and still wore the kilt his mother had ordered for his 17th birthday present!

Further thought: If he is hungry he will be making ‘foody faces’ and trying to suck on everything. Is he doing this? Tummy ache in babies is not often because of hunger.

Sometimes you can’t help but worry especially when a dear little soul is concerned. Your dil is seeing the health visitor who should make sure everything is ok. My dd had to give up dairy altogether as it does transmit via breast milk. It is very distressing all round. I think your dil is probably more worried than you might think as you say she is googling it. You will add to their worry if you are not careful. As she is adamant on breast feeding trying to persuade her otherwise is going to be counterproductive. Has she tried expressing her milk so that she makes more of it and then it can be kept and bottle fed to baby as a top up?

Very very unreasonable

What is unreasonable about the OP coming on GN and admitting her worries and asking for advice and comments Hithere? She has been given wise advice, plus heard of others similar experiences that have helped to ease her worries.

To be honest I think your advice was OK but your "unreasonable" statement was decidedly unreasonable!

Sounds like you've already had a lot of good advice from posters. I hope your GS starts to thrive soon and you can all stop worrying

No need to 'take the bull by the horns' and tell them what you are thinking. They will already know!

Are his poos a normal colour.

My second child put no-barely any weight on despite constant breastfeeding. He also had green poo which did not go and he looked very skinny. They eventually found that he had an infection in the umbilical cord stump - but it took a long time and back and forth before it was found and the poo being the wrong colour was apparently a big sign that something was up.

Nanny48 I'm not going to add any advice, you've been given and accepted the sensible stuff. I just wanted to say I think you come across as a lovely kind person, take no notice of the snippy poster. You were desperately worried, asked for advice, took the advice on board, and hopefully feel reassured that your grandson will be fine. Now just enjoy him, and the odd comment of what a brilliant mum your dil is wouldn't go amiss. I'm sure she'd love to hear it.

I'm lactose intolerant but used to have a little milk in tea. I had to give that up, though, (along with peas) when I had a colicky son. Growth charts are just averages and babies are all different. Birth weights depend upon how much fluid has been swallowed - and whether anything was recently passed. It's perfectly normal to lose weight (fluid) then regain it in the first week or so. One breast is enough - as twins are successfully breast fed. A colicky baby will often be more active and sleep less, so will be using more energy than a relaxed child. We are a lean and healthy family (both sides) so, of course, our children are lean and tend to be tall. We have cow's milk allergy in the family - so wouldn't want to risk using formula. There's no need to, as, with frequent feeding, the milk supply should match a baby's needs. Bear in mind that fat or obese babies are not necessarily 'thriving' and may have future health problems due to overfeeding.

It's still very early days with this little one. I breastfed my 4 but it took a while to settle into a routine
Does your DiL know about La Leche League?
It was a great support for my DD.
I actually did "interfere" when DiL was IMO being given inaccurate advice at the clinic.
She took their advice to heart (her baby wasn't gaining weight fast enough according to their charts) so she abandoned breast feeding.

I breastfed because I wanted to and was supported by DH, DM and DMiL.
If I had been the only one breastfeeding, I may not have been so comfortable with it.

If you were breastfed yourself, you are more likely to bf your own children.

Feeding from one breast only can be fine, assuming the blockage in other breast has not caused an infection. My dil had a problem with one breast with 1st baby and only fed from the other and with 2nd only fed from one breast right from the start.
The dairy allergy may be an issue - my daughter has a problem with dairy - any kind, including goat milk- and if she accidentally eats even a small amount of something with dairy, her breastfed baby reacts with colicky pain.

JaneJudge

The growth charts are for formula fed babies aren;t they? I remember my breastfed babies didn't gain weight like formula fed ones especially in the first 4 months.

The WHO growth charts are the same for both breadt and formula fed babies

I had to give up dairy when DD1 had colic and green nappies and poor weight gain. It helped. With DS and DD2 I stopped before they were born and they were ok.
DGD had tongue tie and difficulties sucking. It was snipped 2 times and was fine after. BF beyond 2. What is being done about the blocked breast? I would be more worried about that. DD2 had a milk cyst which had to be drained twice in breast unit. She also BF beyond 2. She could look up La Leche league who have advice re feeding or NCT. She should feed as often as possible and let baby suckle as long as he wants as the hind milk has a higher fat content however don't interfere and giving formula is not recommended unless something needs done in an emergency.

The growth charts are for formula fed babies aren;t they? I remember my breastfed babies didn't gain weight like formula fed ones especially in the first 4 months.

Nanny48

Sorry you find me unreasonable but I'm actually a very nice, kind, loving mum to my children and all my grandchildren. I asked for advice which everyone else has kindly given me. There was no need for your reply actually as I'd already received wonderful replies from everyone else.

Take no notice. That’s standard from that poster….

my son had a low birth weight and failure to thrive as he grew up. much later he was diagnosed with coeliac disease and lactose intolerance.

You are not unreasonable Nanny48, you clearly care.
Congratulations on your hew grandchild, am sure things will improve soon.