Daughters behaviour - is this normal?

Dont overthink this. I would never have waterproofs on a bed, expect if there was a problem to be told, however his sister could have got in wrong as they do. It’s not the end of the world, just protect the bed next time,if it is every night I would be worried that something was bothering my grandson, that’s more important. If they have different rules in their house to what you have , just remember that next time, a house can soon be tidied after all, just be happy with them. No good having a tidy but empty house. I doubt your daughter meant any harm and let it go.

I would so agree about not overthinking this.
But I would also always (and indeed do) have mattress protectors especially where children are concerned. It’s not exactly a big deal, but common sense.
These are no longer the “rubber sheets” of decades ago, but fine stretchy towelling with a soft waterproof backing , machine washable (but don’t tumble dry!) Absolutely undetectable .
It’s not just bed wetting- burst hot water bottles, spilt drinks, cups of tea etc.
I am amazed that this had not occurred to OP.
Any child can have “accidents” especially in a strange house with a different routine, but how OP manages to “blame” her daughter is beyond me. It says more about the relationship than the thread title too.

Well it isn't beyond me MawtheMerrier, she has every right to be upset that her D didn't make her aware that her 6 year old GS was a frequent bed wetter.

Maybe she could have asked ?
Some people seem too ready to see themselves as victims of a “lack of respect“ when common sense, a little love and understanding would go a long way to keeping relationships positive. As I said “accidents” happen, so why not be prepared?
Moaning about “ruining an expensive mattress” isn’t going to make that relationship thrive.
I had never come across many of the relationship issues which we read about on GN before I became a member 10 or so years ago. An apparent absence of compromise, understanding, and patience seems to characterise many of them.
There is no necessity to take everything as an insult or lack or respect - failure of communication, yes, but that works both ways.

When my GC has a sleepover I put a huge bath sheet across the whole of the mattress, with one of these on top, and the bottom sheet over it to hold it all in place. At only £3.25 from Amazon its worth protecting your mattress just in case of night time accidents. GC are not even aware it's in place.

She could have asked but I wouldn't have, not for a 6 year old.

The OP's D sometimes ignores her, once for 2 years!! With a fractious relationship already in existence, would you have risked asking your D and possibly alienating her, with no reason for doing so, if her son at that age is likely to wet the bed? I wouldn't.

One approach is to ask daughter.

"x unfortunately wet the bed last night, is everything OK?“

That would be 1 of probably many respectful ways to approach this as respect does work both ways.

Sister could be exageratting or it could have been thought the issue was past. Daughter could have run through a check list of things in her head and genuinely thought she had warned it was a possibility...

If thoughts immediately go to a lack of respect, that does not bode well for this relationship, it actively sabotages honest, respectful dialogue before it even starts

I have a permanent mattress protector on my spare bed. It is not an issue. Accidents can happen. It is not a relationship problem. Enjoy your grandchildren. Mine are too old for sleepovers now.

Smileless2012

She could have asked but I wouldn't have, not for a 6 year old.

The OP's D sometimes ignores her, once for 2 years!! With a fractious relationship already in existence, would you have risked asking your D and possibly alienating her, with no reason for doing so, if her son at that age is likely to wet the bed? I wouldn't.

No..neither me. Wouldn’t have thought of it. I will now!!

DiscoDancer.