Different family opinions

The vegan thing is something I could go along with but unvaccinated guests in my home is a no-no. I was vaccinated in January and again 8 weeks later. I could be running on empty soon and until I have my booster and a few weeks after that, no-one unvaccinated will be visiting, family or otherwise.I won’t argue about their choices, just don’t want them near me.

My partner’s youngest son, aged 30, refuses to be vaccinated as he is “ not a follower” . Those are his words, not mine. Consequently, as two people aged 67 and 71 we are not inviting him or his partner into the house. He has socialised during lockdown etc and I am totally unsure who he is mixing with.
As for the vegan issue, you have three options
1. Do not invite to a meal
2. Provide a vegan option , not too difficult once in a while
3. Ask the vegan to bring their own food as you don feel confident providing for them in case you get it wrong.

Easy really!

You have my sympathy with this. My family is now completely split and my younger daughter's vegan diet is partly responsible for it. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.
When she went vegan she was unable to sit down for a meal with us without lecturing and even tried to convert her then 7 year old niece.
I'd be inclined to keep vegan ready meals in your freezer so feeding her is simpler.

If I have a dinner party, I make one meal for everyone. I'm not a restaurant! If I like a vegetarian very much I'd probably try to invite them around with others who don't mind a meatless meal occasionally, like me, and cook accordingly. Vegans? No way. Not getting into that. Never met anyone yet I'd go that far for.

Also, don't forget that there are some who are vulnerable and who are unable to take the vaccine much as they might like to. Our children are, as yet, mostly unvaccinated and who knows what variants may be allowed to develop whilst this disease remains unchecked.

I have been following a vegan diet for some years now for health reasons. If I am ever eating at the homes of others I bring my own food and certainly don't expect any concessions to be made for my personal dietary decisions.
If the lady chooses not to take the jab does she explain her choice with logic and reason? Does she show equal respect for the decisions of others by following alternative recommendations to prevent the spread of covid?
I have listened to so many tales of fierce anti-vaxxers in the USA who have left heartbroken loved ones when they have contracted the disease and died. It's sad to think of a little boy growing up without a mother for a series of principles that run clear contrary to scientific fact and common sense.

Why do people who are vaccinated want everyone else to be ? It's like saying I've got my suncream on to protect me wheres yours? You have just as much chance catching covid from vaccinated or unvacinated and your outcome will be more favourable as you've been vaccinated

It's really nothing to do with you so I wouldn't discuss it with her or him.
I'm totally against antivaxers and feel very sorry for their children.
I caught measles as a child and had eye surgery as a result. A girl I looked after also caught measles which affected her spleen and kidneys. She's had a lifetime of problems from it. Also a friend has a permanent limp from polio as a child, before vaccine was available. These antivaxers promote so much rubbish and conspiracy theories before they or their children are affected by these diseases. Then it's too late.
Vegan diets are ok but vitamin supplements are needed as I've read it doesn't contain everything to sustain good health

good grief ageing men can be such hard work. full of old fashioned ideas that were acceptable when they were growing up but no longer are. Stubborn enough to believe the only right way is their way and won't bend from that at all.
Mine can come out with some very racist/bigoted comments at times and it can be quite embarrassing.
Everybody has their own beliefs and people must appreciate that and accept being different makes the world go round.
I like the idea of you making a simple vegan meal for her, so many options these days.
Would be a shame to alienate them especially if they go on to have more children and you miss out on watching them grow up.

I am not sure why you felt bad about asking your husband to be polite to guests? I am unshakeably pro vax but I'd feel more sympathy for someone who has reasons, even misguided ones, for being against it than people who are too lazy (are you sure this is the reason?)

I totally agree. Why anyone thinks they can know more than the experts is beyond me. Also, if the vaccine were that dangerous, all those who've had it would have died by now! Logic.

A plant-based is not difficult. Quite the contrary. It is the easiest diet one can eat. Carnivornes often see it as difficult because they feel they have to replicate their own preferred plates but without meat or other animal products.

All you need is fresh fruit and vegetables. Rice, grains, pulses. Herbs and spices. Cumin, chili and turmeric are incredibly versatile. Oil for cooking and dressing. Some thickening agent, maybe reduced tomatoes or chickpea (gram) flour if wheat is problematic. There is no need for highly-processed and overly-packaged foods at all.

There is a huge range of plant-based cookbooks out there. Indian cuisine, especially, is a good source of inspiration. A little oil, fry off cumin seeds and chili, throw in whatever vegetables you have to hand, some reduced tomato to thicken. Let it cook down and you have a delicious curry in no time.

Wellbeck I am in Australia in a coastal town, our Supermarket does not have a gigantic range of vegan food, vegitarian yes but vegan is harder.

Thank you all so much for taking time to read and comment on this, you have given me alot of things to think about

welbeck

i sympathise with your feelings about the unvaccinated child.
definitely puts him at a disadvantage, in my view.
but nothing you can do, unfortunately.
what about his father; does he have the same views, or doesn't he care ?
i have read of cases where parents in dispute over such matters have had to go to law, which nearly always goes with the approved medical action.

I do not know the childs father. My grandson (his mothers partner) is not anti vax and his own son ( our great grandson)is fully vaccinated, but he does not interfere in what she does with her own son if that makes sense.

If he cooks pasta then a vegan tomato sauce is the easiest thing out. Chuck chopped courgettes, onions, leeks, peppers in a large lidded pan with a pound of cherry tomatoes, (or 3 tins chopped tomatoes) a squirt of tomato paste, couple of chopped garlic cloves (or paste) , 2 tablespoons olive oil, basil and any other herbs you fancy. Bring to boil, turn down to low heat and simmer covered for anything up to 90 minutes until tomatoes have broken down. Add chopped spinach at end and a pack of ready cooked lentils if you like them. Serve with pasta anyway you like. Grated cheese available for non vegans. Or chicken or salmon pieces baked in oven, for meat eaters to add to their sauce on their plate. It honestly isn't difficult to do this type of "hybrid" meal, just seems scary if one has never done it. I have been doing it for years so happy to give more ideas if you want them

One of my daughters was a vegan for 25 years and we always used to buy and cook special food for her. She now eats certain meats and fish so it is easier to just all have the same food now. As for the anti Vaxx stuff these people really irritate me but ,in the interest of harmony, I would just keep quiet. Hope they don’t expect sympathy when they get sick, though.

If I was asking anyone to my home for a meal, I would respect their wishes. It’s hard to accept that some people will not have the vaccine, but it’s their choice, if you don’t want to mix, don’t.
I have been fully vaccinated, will have all that’s going, but I did have a very bad reaction to it.

I'm vegan and I cook for the carnivores and veggies too. It doesn't 'divide' the family in any way. We choose to eat what we prefer. If I'm invited to a gathering, I do tend to take a vegan dish along, though, just in case. It's a minor inconvenience, and I certainly wouldn't expect to just eat what I'm given. I'd like to choose!

The vaccination issue I find far more serious. I'm always aware of the risk of catching and passing on the virus. The consequences would be far worse for those with no immunity.

I know a family who are all anti-vaccination. I've asked why several times - and I've yet to get any reasonable explanation, just paranoid fear of 'government control' and imagined future disability. They like to feel special, superior even, and think the rest of us are idiots - and sheep.

I think that, underlying their 'beliefs' - is a genuine fear of the unknown and the needle. I've given up discussing and agreed to disagree. However, they're not invited over now. We meet outdoors. I don't want to be the one who, asymptomatically infected, passes it on - and somebody dies.

Kartush I found some interesting vegan cookies and chocolates on Amazon, my son was delighted with them ?

i sympathise with your feelings about the unvaccinated child.
definitely puts him at a disadvantage, in my view.
but nothing you can do, unfortunately.
what about his father; does he have the same views, or doesn't he care ?
i have read of cases where parents in dispute over such matters have had to go to law, which nearly always goes with the approved medical action.

which country are you in, OP.
i find even in small shops, there is more and more vegan items now.
and they are clearly labelled, with a logo, suitable for vegans.
what about falafel, hummous with pita bread and slices of peppers, 5 bean salad, jacket potato with baked beans, various dips, vegetable curry with rice, moroccan cous-cous, etc.
that's just off the top of my head, and i'm not even a vegan, nor a cook.
as others have said, why not ask the person concerned what they would like, or to bring something and have a cook-in.
expand your/ DH's repetoire and have some fun learning.

Kartush, you can be concerned but you'll need to find a way to deal with it quietly. This is a parental decision.

I imagine it could be challenging to cook for vegan people if you don't have a lot of experience with it. Look up some vegan recipes online. There's a lot you can do and substitutions you can look up. If the ingredients call for things like legumes then you can get these in cans rather than having to cook them all up from scratch. Here's one idea and it's what I've just eaten: sweet potato noodles with vegan basil pesto and nutritional yeast (a great cheese substitute). With a side salad, that could be a meal.

welbeck

i was once invited to a birthday party where the meal was lasagne, which i didn't know before i went, as i don't eat meat.
the smell made it obvious and i was trying to raise the issue with the person who had brought me.
i was told i was being silly, as the host always cooked lots of vegetables and i could just eat those. i said, with lasagne ?
well, there were no vegetables just a few leaves that looked like dandelions. i got a v small amount of grated cheese, and i had to ask for that, which was uncomfortable. i was v hungry.
then they served apple pie and custard. i was given a modest portion of that. everyone else was given seconds.
i ought to have made an excuse to leave. it was most odd.

Did you tell them you were vegetarian ahead of time? I assume you did. In that case it's rude for them not to cater for you.

Many posters think that my concern about the non vaccinations are because I am worried about myself, its not that. I am worried about the little boy, his life is already being impacted by his mothers choice, he cant go to regular day care because he is not vaccinated, she is talking about home schooling him because there is a chance he wont be allowed to attend school because he is not vaccinated and with the others i am worried about them catching covid not me, i know it is none of my business but i am their mother/grandmother and I worry. As for the vegan issue, it is problematic for a non vegan household to cater to a vegan, very little in my house is suitable apart from vegetables, I know this, I have taken to reading all the labels and spending ages in the supermarket looking for suitable items. I spent a week scouring shops at ester looking for vegan easter eggs. I do understand my husbands feelings to a certain extent, he is 71 years old and a cooker of meat…roasts, pastas, bbqs, it is what he knows.