Cremation that no-one attends

We chose this for my mother who passed away last year. She had intended to donate her body to medical science but because of Covid this could not be done. She had also been adamant that she did not want a funeral so we opted for the no service cremation which cost about $2300AUD. When things covid related settled and we could gather in reasonable numbers, we scattered her ashes in a place special to her and had a get together of family and friends. This was 9 months after she passed away.

I think she would have approved of how we honoured her wishes although she would have been bitterly disappointed that her body could not be donated.

I think I saw an ad for this on TV yesterday. I am probably the least sentimental person I know but it struck me as being a bit sad.

It’s called “simple cremation”. Personally, that’s what I would opt for and then have a memorial service & great party afterwards…. But since I’ll be dead, I really don’t care.

Hello Athenia I have just seen your post and thought you might be interested in the thread on the Bereavement forum. There are 42 posts available on the subject of direct cremation. Hope you find this useful.

Yes. It’s becoming more popular it’s what my dad had 10 years ago, my mum also wants the same and me. We had a knees up at home afterwards.

Similar to KatyJ my mum had a Mass at her church but stipulated that no one go to the cremation, the Priest went and then joined us back at Mum’s for a wake which was full of chat and laughter about a lovely, funny lady.

I would opt for this, too. I simply don't want my loved ones be present at this moment and I don't want them having memories like this, so it looks like a perfect arrangement to me.

I think these funerals are a good idea. When my BIL died in Germany he was cremated privately, not sure the crematorium even had public access. Ashes were released to the family and it was up to them as to what kind of commemoration they had.

Not quite the same i know, but it had become increasingly common, pre- covid, to have a church service after the burial or cremation. Then it can be more of a celebration of a life.

I think it's an excellent idea.

We were more or less forced into Direct Cremation with MIL during Covid last year, as most of her elderly ACs were shielding, so were some of the GCs.
We have seriously thought about it, but at the end of the day it’s really up to the ones who are left to do what they want to isnt it?
Apart from stipulating a cremation with Family only attending, we will leave it up to them I think.

This seems quite widespread now, certainly pleased its an option, I'm not bothered about a funeral.

My Aunt aged 92 has announced that this is how she wants to shuffle off.

Actually, nobody except the crematorium workers are present when the body is cremated. It doesn’t happen at the service at the crematorium when relatives are there, but hours or even a couple of days after.

My parents have both signed up for this, Pure cremation. No one present. It's their wishes so I respect that. As a family they want us to get together after at some point to scatter their ashes.

I arranged this for our auntie two years ago. She died peacefully in the nursing home I arranged for her to be taken away by private ambulance. The funeral directors arranged the cremation at the local crematorium. I was given her ashes and I chose one of my favourite places to disperse them. Every time I go there I think of our auntie we were very close.
It was what she wanted it was less costly than a usual cremation or burial. I thought it was perfect actually no bothering with long lost relatives or arranging food etc. It’s what I would want for my family to carry on with theirs lives.

A friend of mine had this. There wasn't even a memorial service. It was what he wanted.

Me. I have chosen this. My sons know the details.

I'm up for this. Thank you for starting the thread, Athenia, as I wasn't aware of this possibility before today.

Mind you, if my offspring want to feed me to vultures after any useful bits (if any!) have been donated to people who need them, that's fine too.

A Tibetan funeral Baggs! ?

A friend chose this, and for there to be no service / funeral tea / celebration either. This was pre-Covid, and I found it very awkward.
Although he was a close friend, he told no-one but his wife, as he knew we would tell him that WE would want to attend and celebrate in some way. Actually, his wife also found it awkward - she would have wanted a small celebration of his life. Instead, she began to arrange lunches & dinners with friends as a sort of marker, then Covid got in the way.

I don't have strong feelings about cremation alone, but I have realised that I do have strong feelings about some sort of marking of a life. We lined our main village street a few times during Covid, and at least that represented something.

Yep ?

My feeling is that funerals are for the living, not the dead. While I'd always respect and uphold the type of funeral someone had personally wanted, I would hope they would give some thought to the impact it might make on those left behind. For many, the grieving process could be hampered by the lack of any "marking" of the dead person's life.

Posted too soon. I've known of one direct cremation, but the ashes were scattered by family in a place of significance to them, followed by a respectful lunch and visit down memory lane.