Anyone know if *Iam64* is ok?

I can't help thinking that some deleted posts get deleted because their author isn't as savvy at phrasing their opinions as others. EV was, as others have said, a forthright poster and wasn't afraid to post her opinions. Whilst others are similarly forthright and "forceful", they are more adept at phrasing their aggression and combative posting style so that it falls just within the guidelines. Sometimes, isn't isn't what is said; it's how it's said and how canny the poster is.

The reporting issue is a thorny one isn't it. I understand about overt racism, homophobia etc. Surely we can say openly that we disagree with a poster's views without resorting to running to the headmistress/master.

I'm glad to see you back as well MissAdventure I always enjoy your posts, we may not agree but you often make me smile.

But again doodledog I for one would be furious if that happened to me and I had no come back so I think they are in an almost impossible position. I am gender critical ( I think we are often on the same threads so you probably know that) so if one of my posts were deleted for being transphobic say and they then put that up on the board I would be furious because I would think that was untrue. This may be due to my level of maturity though . I also think we dont often have a full picture, a while ago a poster was trolling the board comprehensively in a way no moderator would tolerate, I still see posters enquiring after that poster. Perhaps it's a question of trust. I sort of trust them because I have watched them deal with horrific situations on MN and manage it as well as could be expected.

Thank you, sodapop.
I'm wondering if some may be less than happy to see me when I say I often report what I see as covert bullying?
The fact that someone reports it only draws it to the attention of the moderators.
They decide, so it's pointless blaming individual members.

I've been told before by them that they're leaving something in place as it doesn't breach "the rules".

Galaxy

But again doodledog I for one would be furious if that happened to me and I had no come back so I think they are in an almost impossible position. I am gender critical ( I think we are often on the same threads so you probably know that) so if one of my posts were deleted for being transphobic say and they then put that up on the board I would be furious because I would think that was untrue. This may be due to my level of maturity though . I also think we dont often have a full picture, a while ago a poster was trolling the board comprehensively in a way no moderator would tolerate, I still see posters enquiring after that poster. Perhaps it's a question of trust. I sort of trust them because I have watched them deal with horrific situations on MN and manage it as well as could be expected.

Fair enough. I haven't been here as long as you, and as I say, a lot of the board politics is lost on me anyway.

I agree that some of the more overtly combative threads are left to find their own level, and that (IMO) is as it should be.

I take your point about transphobia accusations, too. I suppose that racists might feel the same about their racism, but that would seem different to me, so yeah - point well made ?.

On other threads, I don't care for the passive aggression that is so often displayed, as I think it can be far nastier than when people just say what they think and let others respond. Is that what you are getting at, Chewbacca? It is a nightmare to deal with from a moderation POV though, as it can be done in such a way as to be easily denied, even when anyone looking for it can see it for exactly what it is.

Anyway, short of getting everyone to sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya, I don't suppose there is a constructive way to make people get along (and that approach would have me running for the hills, too).

Anyway, short of getting everyone to sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya, I don't suppose there is a constructive way to make people get along

Oh goodness, that took me back .....

But we are not all going to get along are we. Some things we feel strongly about and disagree with other posters. Nothing wrong with that it would be boring otherwise.
Just a question of degree I suppose and not letting things get personal.

Oh, let's all just have a sing-song...

Kumbaya my lord! Kumbaya...

Sodapop
"and not letting things get personal "
ie kick the ball and not the player.
But sadly that seems impossible. Especially in government circles.
Is it just human nature or can we correct it?

I think social media probably makes it harder. And that we have become very tribal, I mean generally not just on GN. We seem to find it impossible to believe that people think differently to ourselves and I am sure I am as guilty as anyone.

Galaxy I think you've put your finger on it.
Why can't we broaden our views by considering the opinions of others? Without feeling threatened and becoming agressive?

EV is posting on the Romanian dog thread today.

Whoops just realised it's an old thread - sorry

I think there is nuance in face to face discussions you just don't get on social media. I think the main difference though is I HOPE most people would stop trying to get their point of view across if someone was clearly distressed. I can think of a post recently where someone had posted about something very personal and wretched and posters still carried on posting about something the poster had put in her original post even though she had explained and apologised. It isn't necessary in a lot of instances after the first message of, I don't agree with X and the person apologising and saying that is how they felt at the time of posting. I'm not sure I make much sense.

I have seen some p

. Sorry. I have seen some people recently take a step back and say sorry and the two people resolve it quite quickly when that happens.

Part of the problem is that some posters wade in, without reading the whole thread, when the situation has already been resolved. People then become upset, when that situation could have been avoided!

Marydoll

Part of the problem is that some posters wade in, without reading the whole thread, when the situation has already been resolved. People then become upset, when that situation could have been avoided!

Oh so true! The “wading in” and the not reading the thread, really bugs me.

Galaxy

I have seen some p

that might have been me

Thought as much Janejudge.

Marydoll

Part of the problem is that some posters wade in, without reading the whole thread, when the situation has already been resolved. People then become upset, when that situation could have been avoided!

It is really evident when threads are highlighted in the daily email.
Posters just read the opening post.
(I hope that this isn't classed as monitoring)

Re apologising. I find that I do this quite a bit, as I realise a lot of posters find me annoying!

Think about how often you casually say 'sorry' in conversation, when you realise that you've put your foot in it or overstepped the mark.
It clears the air (hopefully)

sodapop

Whoops just realised it's an old thread - sorry

Yes- back in April.
Raised my hopes for a minute there though.

Can Gransnet close a thread, not accept any more postings, so it becomes read only? Think this could be used when threads go round in circles, especially when they get long and posters don’t read it all before posting.

One thing though. The moderators seem to have found a spine and willing to let this thread mosey along.

The earth hasn’t shattered and the posters have like grownups chatted quite amicably.

Long May it continue.

Well done moderators- now how about trying to get to grips with the various nuances in threads and not simply reacting to those who shout the loudest about a particular post without taking the full thing into account.

shush WWM2

They don't know we're here.