Hugging

I have never been a hugger etc for grandson and my own boys. Before covid people would automatically go to hug me and it was a nightmare for me. I would step back and hold up my hand and say 'sorry I don't hug' some people took offence but others just accepted that I was just weird! Even my own relations know not to try! If I feel that a person really needs a hug I will suffer it (they've had a really bad time etc). But I am very uncomfortable doing it and never prolong physical contact. At least now you could use the worry of too close contact to avoid hugging?

I’m hoping that when I do eventually go back to church, there will not be a return to the hugging and kissing during The Peace (just about the least peaceful part of the service).

No friend hugging...ever! Have survived hugging close family for the last year and will continue to do so! At least you know where they’ve been and being as careful as I was......

Never been a hugger

I'm a hand shaker too, Grandtante. My 3 Sil always shake hands with one another and DH on meeting (wh is only a few times a year) and my GSs the same. When younger all my GC used to shout 'Bye, Granny' from halfway down the path.

I approach male acquaintances hand outstretched to forestall any attempt at social kissing. Imposs with close friends though. I don't think I could bring myself to put it in words so I try to hang back or somehow slip past - sometimes realise that they're trying to do the same.?

I'm with you. I'm not a hugger or kisser. I like a large personal space. I am warm, welcoming and affectionate l hope but l have never been comfortable with physical displays of affection.

I can't wait to hug my sons and they are both in their 30's. Haven't seen them since last August - but got night in hotel near them booked for June.

When it comes to greeting friends and acquaintances, I would be very happy to rub elbows, rather than hug. I hope that more and more people will take this up as a new form of greeting. In fact I intend to start fending off unwanted hugs with my elbow. I think people will quickly get the message!

I'm not a big hugger and wouldn't initiate, other than with children (my grandchildren). Like another poster I'm more concerned about the media coverage of the return of hugging: it never was against the law to hug, merely advice and a suggestion that one didn't. But then the government has allowed the public to believe that a few things were against the law whilst in truth they were only advice.

I can’t WAIT. I’m from a very tactile family so it’s been really odd this past year.

Aepgirl

I’m hoping that when I do eventually go back to church, there will not be a return to the hugging and kissing during The Peace (just about the least peaceful part of the service).

Amen!

I am concerned about all this coverage in the tabloids about
"Hugging is On" from next week and even Boris keeps on about the big Hug being back. I am not a touchy feely or even
Hugger type of person and never have been so from next week my world will be about the same the only thing good is we can meet in other family members homes.

I often used to see younger couples arms locked in hugging and kissing each other out in the street, all very nice but do it indoors not everyone wants to see it. With lockdown on I
never had to view that. Just realized I sound so miserable.

Absolutely agree with you! I come from a large family of huggers and I'm happy about it. But even before Covid I was fed up with the double kissing which Brits seem to have adopted when introduced to everyone, however casually. I don't expect anyone to go back to the days of shaking hands on introduction, as I was taught to do. (And taught my children.) I was at a party (goodness! two years ago now) and at least forty people kissed me on both cheeks, or even what I call the three times lunge. A friend who agrees with me on this says she's going to get a badge printed saying: I want to be kissed by my family, my friends and my dog, but anyone else - a smile will do.

rafiechagran
Nor me.
I don't mind a 'squeeze' and done with'.
Hugs can take too long.

I'm not much of a hugger either although I had kind of become one since my son got married back in 2005 and I realised just how huggy DIL was, so I made an effort to hug her, my son and GD and always my mum too, although can't say I have ever enjoyed it!

Yesterday was my mum's 98th Birthday and my sister went to see her and hugged her, which I wasn't happy about with my mum being so old. My sister then took my mum out to see a friend of hers and the friend also hugged my mum, which I found a bit odd as my mum doesn't really know this person and I know my mum has been trying really hard to follow all the guidelines.

I love hugs especially from my kids and grand kids. Friends are different and I don’t think we will ever get back to way things were. Who knows? ?

I'm fine without hugs, we were never a huggy family, so only friends would really do it. They know how I've been about Covid, a bit OTT probably, so I don't think they will be rushing to hug me anyway in case I'd freak out.

If I could get on a train this minute and go north to hug my sister or south to hug my family, I'd be there like a shot. After all these months, I need the reassurance of close contact with the people I love. I won't go and hug friends if I suspect they would take offence, but there are others I know would love to be hugged as much as I would. There! I have confessed: I am a hugger!

I'm like you, I struggle with the hugging thing, we only ever kept it for close family, now it seems expected to hug virtual strangers! And as for air kissing, waste of a breath!!!

Skunkhair63. I find the elbow or fist-bumping thing even more awkward than hugging. Whenever I see someone doing it I feel like laughing, but it seems to be quite common now. As for hugging, I will reserve that for family, with an extra big one saved for my little GS, 1 year old yesterday, when I finally meet him.

what is the obsession and i do mean an obsession with hugging? i fully accept that giving a hug or two to grandkids is fine but why do people feel they have to smother you with their body? i hate and i do mean hate it. I don't see the need to shake hands either - probably as I'm retired and no longer needed. To me the one good thing about covid is people keeping their distance. I'm happy to chat, to help out others but would happily pay not to have to touch people.

Haha - I can even hug my exDH and his wife Really!

DH and I were just talking about this last night. We were brought up non-huggers in fact non-kissers. No bedtime kiss from parents a story yes and tucked in. Only saw my parents hug and kiss on New Year.
I had to learn to do it when I moved when older, colleagues of my husbands used to do it on purpose to see me freeze and say I was from the frozen north.
Both SIL 's are from the south and do it automatically, but know not to make it a big event. Their daughters hug and their sons are not so keen.
I'm quite happy as things are and wouldn't mind if it stayed that way. Except I would love to put the grandchildren on my knee when we eventually see them.
Is it a north /south thing that northerners have adopted or had to?

kjmpde

what is the obsession and i do mean an obsession with hugging? i fully accept that giving a hug or two to grandkids is fine but why do people feel they have to smother you with their body? i hate and i do mean hate it. I don't see the need to shake hands either - probably as I'm retired and no longer needed. To me the one good thing about covid is people keeping their distance. I'm happy to chat, to help out others but would happily pay not to have to touch people.

Honestly, what about this British obsession with not hugging or touching?

I am not a hugger or an air kisser .Hello it’s good to see ,does me fine .