Being a good grandma/nanny

How about making a memory box? Encourage the children to put the things in it that remind them of you and you can do the same. (photos, cards, jewellery, paintings, certificates, family tree, perfume, absolutely anything). Over the years it will give great pleasure to all of you and when your time comes the children will still have their memories.

Making a list of activities (with a little detail) we think good grannies do wouldn't be a bad idea.
For example PlayDoh was mentioned earlier. We have PlayDoh but frankly I never really know what to do with it. (And which sorts easily come off the carpet!)

I had two grandmothers who literally did absolutely nothing for me or with me. I have no memories of them and don’t really mind. However I am going to make sure my time with my own grandchildren is memorable because I will love them, laugh with them and make their lives richer. Everyone is right, just be yourself as you are clearly a lovely person.

I agree, you sound like a lovely Grandma. I have only one new baby GS so have lots to learn, but I agree with lots of the suggestions here and think back to mine and my children’s childhoods and what they enjoyed. This includes helping with jobs, cooking, baking, crafts, dressing up, reading stories, simple gardening like sewing cress or sunflower seeds, singing songs and nursery rhymes and going out for nature walks, pointing out trees, plants and insects. Have fun and enjoy your time with them and it will show, they will love you and remember you for it.
As someone has already said in another post, I don’t remember my GPs ‘playing’ with me, but there was always something interesting to do visiting their houses, particularly my MGM who was a dressmaker and good cook. I remember spending lots of time sorting through her button box!
Have fun at your tea party, sounds brilliant!

Many of the things my young GDs enjoy have been mentioned already, but can I mention singing and dancing? Both my GDs love that I sing nursery rhymes and songs, and do action songs like 'Ring-a-ring of roses' or dance along with them to their favourite tune.
My Mum sang many nursery rhymes to me and we sang traditional songs at school. My DDs now say they like how I seem to know all the words to the tunes their toys play.
I have nothing to suggest for the 11 year old boy- it sounds like you are doing better than me as all I get from my 11 year old GS on Facetime is a wave and "I'm alright"!

Nanny Magic I don’t think you have anything whatsoever to worry about, you sound a lovely nannie. It’s the simple things that my little granddaughter says she misses about not seeing us. She FaceTimed the other day and said Nana you’re the best reader in the world and I miss you telling me stories. I read to her on FaceTime but it’s not the same is it? My daughter rang recently and said my granddaughter had told her she can’t wait to snuggle up on the sofa with Nana and watch a film and eat popcorn. I guess my point is you don’t have to do anything out of the ordinary with them, just your love and undivided attention is all they need.?

Such lovely advice here. I'd just add - take it easy, maybe just involve them in something you enjoy - bit of cooking, garden, even housework. If you bring them in at their level they will love it and learn.

You already are a truly loved and lovely granny. One of the things I have started to do now that my grandchildren are older is to write them letters - just short ones and include some sweets. My grandmother used to do that for all her grandchildren. She would sometimes include a sixpence wrapped in a piece of tissue paper. I have never forgotten that.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

You sound lovely and caring. Repetition is the key to being remembered.

With the little one you can be the nanny that has the dolls tea parties, it will be your thing and in the future you can both bake for it and have outdoor picnics and special teas for the dolls "birthdays". Don't forget to take photos for a scrapbook.

Maybe start some sort of activity that will involve you going somewhere with the older one, swimming, nature walk, places of interest, difficult to say not knowing what he is into. Whatever it is take photos.

I know how you feel. I never knew my grandparents and when my daughters had children I just wanted to live long enough for them to remember me. My 1 grandson and my 3 granddaughters are all old enough to do that and I'm so grateful..Just be a loving cuddly gran. Show them things you liked to do as a child and make as much time as you can to be with them.. Its easier than you think. Please try and relax.

What lovely people you all are! My grandson is 4 and adore the book 'Tiger who came to tea'.... tea party requested.... we 'wrote' a list of favourites over facetime... (I made the final decision) we prepared the table on the day ... excitement filled the air as I put a candle on a fairy cake so we could make a wish prior to starting! I even read said book throughout. We loved it.... Your thoughtfulness will be remembered! Enjoy.... ?

The tea party sounds wonderful. If there’s time you could make an occasion out of it. You can buy plain paper plates and cups and decorate them with pens and stickers. Lay the table. Make something you can eat. Fairy cakes are a lovely idea. Also little sandwiches or pieces of fruit as well as crisps. Maybe pretend it’s one of the dolls’ birthdays and wrap up a toy as a present with ribbon etc. Put a candle on a little cake and sing! Go through your cupboards and drawers to find some inspiration. Afterwards maybe dancing or party games such as musical chairs and statues. Have a wonderful time.

Mine think it’s hilarious when we dance and I make a fool of myself?.
If it’s a nice day you could fill a bowl with soapy water and wash dolls ect .
Read books together .
Relax and enjoy .
Ps How about letting her try on your clothes and jewellery and do your hair and make up ?
Just don’t answer the door afterwards ???

Just reading to them and sharing their favourite books is a great bonding experience, and something they will remember. Ask your grandson what he would like to do, games he would like to play with you. Card games? Baking cakes out of a box is good fun for children, boys and girls.

We have our granddaughter one day a week...she’s our only grandchild. She is 3 going on 13!! We always go for a walk to the Park and to watch the trains go by ...this week we baked cupcakes and a cake for mommy and daddy. We have picnics on the carpet and play with the Barbies that her mommy played with as a child. She likes to feed the birds with Grandad and chase our dog around the garden. She loves to wash up and paint and colour in princess pictures. I’ve been in child care all of my life and it’s safe to say it’s all about giving them your time...that’s what your grandchildren will remember...attention and being in the moment with no distractions....have fun.

Just be your self . If you try to hard that's when it all goes wrong . As long as you are loving and caring that's all that's matter .

Ask yourself why you are not good at having fun. Is it because you feel/look silly or people will think you are stupid? I am frequently admonished by DD for allowing DGs and joining in water fights, silly faces and absolutely mad things, because I didn’t let her do them! Let your GD lead the game or activity and relax

Oh and do tell her stories, you know the kind that starts 'when I was little.....'. Or make things up. Make up stories together, children love to explore their imagination

Conversations that start with a question too 'what's your favourite colour, animal, game, teacher, friend etc?'
Just being together and paying attention is so valuable.

I remember my Nana with great fondness and she was plain, ordinary, simple hearted and lovely, I still love her to bits and have such happy memories

Your tea party sounds great, can I come?

Dressing up, my granddaughter loved dressing up in anything, but costume jewellery always went down well. Lots of beads and a long skirt. Playing theater by taking turn to do the acting and being the viewer and of course clapping like mad. The more silly the better. Find the thimble, painting and decorating the walls (make sure they are up when she comes next time) and making a painting for mum and dad and her brother who will want to do the same when he comes. so much fun, I have not had mine visit for years and how I miss it. I don't think I would know what to talk to her about now and she is 20 tomorrow.

I am sure that your kind gestures, like your lovely tea party, will stay with the little girl, and make happy memories for her. There are some great ideas here; a blanket over chairs to make a secret cave on a rainy day was always such a hit with my children, and in the summer, tents made from sheets and bedspreads pegged to the line, picnics indoors and out - if they have your time and attention, that is often all they need to be happy, and remember happiness.

You sound like such a sweet grandma, I have seven grandchildren five are grown up now but they remember the hot chocolate with marshmallows on top and the rice crispy cakes we made and board games we used to play we also used to play shop with things out of my cupboard.
When they got a little older I would send them well done cards for their little achievements like doing well in spelling tests etc.
Relax you are doing a fantastic job

My mum did a photo album for my daughter's when she went to uni. It was just random family photos no sequence and not particularly neatly put together but my daughter treasures it.

I get all the pillows and make a hospital ward with their teddies and dolls and any spare plasters or bandages you have(very cheap in some shops). Then have discussions with the grandchild doctor as to whats wrong? What do they suggest? Then help wrap bandages or they put plasters on. You can then go onto play something else but come back to the ward to check on the patients making a longer game. Obviously don’t leave little ones alone with long bandages.

I know how you feel. My granddaughter is 4 I love her so much. Unlike you I have hardly seen her for a year now. I have a job not being in constant tears over it. There has been no need for such a distance even with lock down. But unfortunately my daughter makes little to no effort. Anyway ypu are having a tea party how about making a "den"? Ypu could get a duvet cover or a table cloth and drape over some chairs or cover the table and get underneath. My granddaughter loves this sort of thing. Maybe put some fairy lights in it?