Miss, Ms or Mrs

I have been widowed nearly 17 years but still call myself Mrs. I am not old as I was widowed when I was 45. I hate being classed as single I know technically I am but don't like it. I still wear my wedding ring. When addressing to my niece's always use Ms since they were 16. If someone is divorced or single I use their initial and surname. Never was Master when addressing to a child. Use their first and last name. Once 16 I use Mr.

What short memories we all have. Boys used to be addressed in writing as Master + Surname in the days when I was Miss+Surname and my younger sister Miss M Surname.

It made us feel so grown-up.

why didnt you just put her name without the ms/miss ..?

The rules I grew up with stated that a widowed woman was still Mrs, but you used her given name when addressing an envelope, not that of her deceased husband. My grandmother went from being Mrs David Surname to Mrs Ella Surname.

A divorced woman was supposed to resume her maiden name, but whether she prefixed it with Mrs or Miss was up to her.

Here in Denmark, we have for the most part stopped writing Hr. (Mr.) and Fru (Mrs) because of the same debate about Mrs or Ms. No-one is ever addressed as Miss (Frk) any more.
We simply address envelopes to A. Jensen or Anne Jensen however well or not we know her, or to the Jensen family if that would do.

In Germany, all adult women are addressed as Frau, whether married or not. In Austria I have heard of 14-15 year old girls being addressed as Fräulein on very formal occasions, such as in a court of law. I think the thought behind it is that as they cannot legally marry at that age saying miss is the obvious choice. I doubt anyone there or in Switzerland would use Fräulein to an older woman.

Errr...she sounds like a cow...cross her off next year’s Christmas card list!

I’m back again! It really annoys me when filling in an application, etc for say an insurance quote and they ask for your “marital status”. What the hell does it matter? Are women seen as more likely to set the house on fire or something similar if we do not have a man living with us? Grrrrr.......

Oh dear I am out of date having lived away from the UK for years didn’t know about the Ms thing I still send Mr and Mrs to a couple of Miss to a single person and probably always will until someone corrects me what on earth is all this fuss about why have people become so sensitive about something like this what is the world coming to. COVID effect?!!

I gave up using titles many moons ago. Times aren't as formal as they used to be and as the OP has discovered it's also a potential minefield!

I’m divorced and don’t mind what I’m called as long as I’m not called late for my dinner

It never ceases to amaze me how people can use any excuse for ill-mannered behaviour. You weren't thoughtless enough to put her married title on the envelope. It is not at all clear that there is any correct form of address. You were kind enough to send someone a card and her only response is this!! I wouldn't bother again if I were you.

I have used Ms for myself since the early 70s. For the reasons already explained by others. After over 50 years married I have recently used Mrs but it still feel a bit strange.
I would not look kindly on being referred to as Mrs.Fred Silver. I am not invisible nor a possession.

I agree with you Lucyloo12

It's about time the box we have to indicate this on many online forms should be made optional.

When sending to a friend I always put their first name. Just an initial seems impersonal.

Like a few others, I'd not send a card next year.

Silly woman! I'd delete her from my Christmas list immediately! Life's too short and precious to be wasted on such rude and unkind people. Who needs people like that in their lives!

For about 2 years I addressed Christmas and Birthday cards to my (now) DiL’s Mum using the same surname as my DiL. It was only when my husband did some legal work for her that he told me she uses her maiden name. I apologised profusely but she told me it wasn’t as important as receiving the cards.
Grandma70s my son went to a private school where all the female teachers were addressed as Miss all males Sir. I thought it lovely when a group of strapping sixth formers arriving back from a school trip said “thank you Miss” to their tiny, 50 something teacher. She just beamed at them all.

I’ve been addressing women as Ms. for past 20years.Mens’ marital status isn’t defined by their ‘titles’ why should we be? My husband has always refused to wear a wedding ring....so I took mine off after the ceremony! He didn’t like it...I told him I would be happy to wear it , when he would! But I do like the idea of calling everyone by just their names on envelopes.....and forms. Good idea.

Don’t be upset. Your friend needs to get over herself..

I don't like titles. When reading Margaret Atwood's The Handmaid's Tale I realised how easy it would be to freeze women's bank accounts etc by using the title. Why is it the first box on every form? It's rarely relevant!

She’s obviously still raw about the separation .
Let it go and just put her initial next time .

MR, next year!!!!!

All titles are ridiculous. They are just a sneaky way of letting others know of your lofty or lowly status or how desirable you are. Great for showing off or keeping others in their place.

It annoys me that a man only has the title Mr so noone knows his status but for a woman you know if she's married or not or divorces.!!!!

I wouldn’t bother sending her a card next year

Honestly, some people, eh?! I think this probably has more to do with her feeling a little prickly about her new situation rather than something you’ve done wrong. She’ll come round soon enough and apologise, I’m sure. In the meantime give yourself a pat on the back for being such a considerate friend.

I hate Ms. I am divorced and have always used Mrs but have still kept my married surname.
You were obviously meant to be a mind reader and as she is recently divorced, she probably wants to turn the clock back as if she was never married! Rude of her to berate you for such a simple thing though!
Just glad that I'm not from my parent's generation - when you got married, you changed your title to Mrs and also lost your christian name to become Mrs John Smith and only got it back either as a divorcee or as a widow!

When my husband was in the army my mail was addressed as such WO Cpl John *****. I was "wife of"! No status whatsoever, even though I also had a job in the army.