Feeling sad

You're the adult. He's the child. Undoubtedly you understand much much more of this bizarre current lifestyle than him. Just go with his flow. Aren't GC wonderful?!

Bear in mind that young children may have picked up on the ‘don’t kill your granny’ message at some level, though perhaps not fully understood. This was very crudely and insensitively put across by the govt in my opinion. It would not be surprising if they now feel vaguely anxious and tense around their grandparents.

My 8 year old granddaughter hasn't wanted to stay with us in the two years since her parents split up. She can't give a reason why, bless her.

inishowen

My 8 year old granddaughter hasn't wanted to stay with us in the two years since her parents split up. She can't give a reason why, bless her.

Maybe she's already having to spend time between two homes and she doesn't want a third home-from-home to make mental space for.

My granddaughter (now 13) used to come and stay regularly in the holidays when she was young, but every night she would be all
snuggled down and would then get upset and say “I want my mummy!” So as mummy lives 120 miles away we used to ring mummy up, who would then sing a favourite nursery rhyme . (once from a car park of a restaurant where they’d gone for dinner!) I always had treats lined up for the next day, or a star chart with a reward for being a big girl, if it was a longer stay. (Now 13 she won’t come to stay at all, so I rarely see her) I miss her !

I find it hard we used to have boys 9 and 12 for tea and take to school and do picks ups and it was a bit strange when we had them dureing summer hols for a day but we had a talk and about it and was soon back to normal, we had a great day when we had a water fight and lots of fun but now we live on Merseyside so cant see them but we keep in touch on the phone and the bond is still there but we miss them x

Reading all that has helped me cope with a similar situation, so thank you everyone.

I feel sad for those of you who can’t see their dgc because of local rules or because they live far away. Yes we must cherish what we have

Thats because youre where most of the bloody politicians & royals are- so whilst ever this rule for south&SE stands, they can all do mostly what they please.Further north we cannot, wether we've been 'good' or not!

I suppose bedtime is the time of closeness, stories and cuddles from Mum and Dad, so no wonder they miss them most then. You can give the stories and cuddles but thank goodness, they do miss their parents. Much worse, I think, if they don't miss parents or their home at all.

Nannan2

Thats because youre where most of the bloody politicians & royals are- so whilst ever this rule for south&SE stands, they can all do mostly what they please.Further north we cannot, wether we've been 'good' or not!

There is definitely a whiff of the North South divide in some of the decisions bring made I absolutely agree

I have 6 grandchildren aged from 7- 21 and each in their turn has loved spending time with us and had loads of sleepovers. The three eldest no longer do the sleepovers, but the 3 younger ones do. It's the natural way of things. Look forward to spending the fun hours with him and don't let yourself get stressed about the sleepover. Children will pick up on this. He's very young at 4 to have this sort of pressure on him, You should be delighted that he and his dad have such a close relationship. Many grandparents would swop places with you.

People have been very kind to you in their responses.
This site has been full of grans totally bereft and upset by not seeing their grandchildren at all due to closed borders and vast distances.
You have yours twice a week for Pete’s sake.
I find your post very insensitive in these times.

vicky that’s really really unkind of you. It’s really important to understand the relativity of the lives we all live and the experiences we have during the pandemic - in fact generally. I think many of us try to put our feelings into perspective but there are times when the hurt or pain make that impossible. It’s simply not a solution though to tell someone to just be grateful for what they have when they are experiencing a loss of some kind or a diminution as they see it in a relationship.

vickymeldrew, just because someone has it worse doesn’t mean we can’t be upset about what’s going on in our lives. How silly to think that.

That aside, I read this more as looking for advice on how to help vs a “poor old me” thread

I don't think that Vicky was being unkind, I really don't.
Quite the opposite, I think that she was showing a lot of empathy.

‘You have yours twice a week for Pete’s sake.
I find your post very insensitive in these times’

If that’s not unkind, I’d like to know what would pass for unkind iyo Fanny?

Ok, sorry, I don't want to derail this.
Please don't challenge me to an argument.

I miss my grandson like mad, but can empathise with the OP. I thought Vicky was unnecessarily unkind. We can all start threads of our own if we wish. No need to be cruel to someone who has posted about something upsetting them.

Yes, apologies if I came across as ‘unkind’. When I first read the OP it was like a knife to my heart.

I can't get my grandson to speak to me on the phone when I've been talking to my mum. He's always too busy. It's a bit upsetting but I'm probably very boring to a ten-year old boy.

I said talking to 'my' mum when I meant I was talking to my daughter (grandson's mum).

completely normal

DGD1 stayed with us a lot when of pre-secondary age (used to burst out of the car demanding to know “where are my things?”). I treasure the memories and the photographs and although she is almost eighteen she still rings up occasionally for a chat. The bonds you form in early life will endure and you can be glad to know that you have done a good job as a grandparent in supporting parents to do their job well.

Yes. This is exactly what I've experienced. He won't even get in the car with me. I'm a very sad Naninka.