Feeling sad

Thats because youre where most of the bloody politicians & royals are- so whilst ever this rule for south&SE stands, they can all do mostly what they please.Further north we cannot, wether we've been 'good' or not!

I feel sad for those of you who can’t see their dgc because of local rules or because they live far away. Yes we must cherish what we have

Reading all that has helped me cope with a similar situation, so thank you everyone.

I find it hard we used to have boys 9 and 12 for tea and take to school and do picks ups and it was a bit strange when we had them dureing summer hols for a day but we had a talk and about it and was soon back to normal, we had a great day when we had a water fight and lots of fun but now we live on Merseyside so cant see them but we keep in touch on the phone and the bond is still there but we miss them x

My granddaughter (now 13) used to come and stay regularly in the holidays when she was young, but every night she would be all
snuggled down and would then get upset and say “I want my mummy!” So as mummy lives 120 miles away we used to ring mummy up, who would then sing a favourite nursery rhyme . (once from a car park of a restaurant where they’d gone for dinner!) I always had treats lined up for the next day, or a star chart with a reward for being a big girl, if it was a longer stay. (Now 13 she won’t come to stay at all, so I rarely see her) I miss her !

inishowen

My 8 year old granddaughter hasn't wanted to stay with us in the two years since her parents split up. She can't give a reason why, bless her.

Maybe she's already having to spend time between two homes and she doesn't want a third home-from-home to make mental space for.

My 8 year old granddaughter hasn't wanted to stay with us in the two years since her parents split up. She can't give a reason why, bless her.

Bear in mind that young children may have picked up on the ‘don’t kill your granny’ message at some level, though perhaps not fully understood. This was very crudely and insensitively put across by the govt in my opinion. It would not be surprising if they now feel vaguely anxious and tense around their grandparents.

You're the adult. He's the child. Undoubtedly you understand much much more of this bizarre current lifestyle than him. Just go with his flow. Aren't GC wonderful?!

Not sure where you are Nannan2, but here in SE England we can have six inside the house.

I am sure with regular contact he will be back to staying over happily, this year has been a huge shock to absolutely everyone.

This disease has wrecked so many family relationships. We have lost all contact with family on the other side of town, because DiL is paranoid and absolutely no-one is allowed inside the house, even now. Her father does their gardening, and as there is no side entrance, he has been told to hold his breath and literally run through the house to get there whilst the family hide upstairs!!

Arent we NOT supposed to be in others houses at ALL right now? Thats how covid is spreading

Because of the changes at home due to the virus, perhaps he is a little unsettled and needs the comfort of Dad to reassure him everything is alright. When life returns to something resembling normal he will settle again and want to stay overnight with Granny.

I also agree that Pollydollys advice isn’t good (sorry!) it will lead to the little one feeling a burden of responsibility for grandma and that is not healthy!

I'm not trivialising your worries Granangel but your post took me back to a conversation I had a month ago.

My dog was at the Dog Creche for the day last month. The lady running the Creche looks after dogs for some families on a daily basis. She made a comment that after lockdown nearly all the dogs she has every day (for walks) were finding it difficult to adjust back to 'normality'. They'd got so used to being with their owners. All are now back to enjoying their stays and walks through the Creche.

We all wish for normality.

It helps to voice the feeling that your GC is having at any time. So if he starts crying we might say 'its ok to miss your Dad or feel sad that Dad isn't here.' Sometimes talking about his feelings will help him recognise all this is normal too & he might feel more safe expressing his emotions throughout his life.

My 4 yr old GD and her 5 yr old sister often stayed over before lockdown, the 4 yr old , a proper little character went through a stage of wanting to be with Mum all the time, arrangements were made for a sleepover, the little one changed her mind, her Mummy said to her " do you want to stay with Nanny and Grandad " she replied pointing to us " I don't like her and I don't like him" (she does really ) don't take it personally it's a phase he'll grow out of

Enjoy your days with him. I'm in lockdown in the North East and can't see any of my gcs.

I expect that even though he is only 4 he has picked up the general anxiety around and is aware there is a nasty virus about although he won't be able to really work out what that means so he wants to be at home. If dad is working from home all the more reason. Just drop the overnights for the time being there is no point in giving him any worry he doesn't need. It is no reflection whatsoever on you it is just the present times.

Only one of my DGC is now in need of any supervision so I am becoming my mum and turning up for a cup of tea occasionally, times change and we have to adapt, I shall be looking out my pearls next!!

My granddaughter came to stay every other weekend and asked to do it. We had a couple of months then that she no longer wanted to stay the night. She was the same as the OP , it was once she was ready for bed that her mind changed and she asked us to take her home. Then last week all of a sudden she asked to stay. She had two nights with us and never mentioned going home once. She's 9. My 6 year old grandson sometimes wants to stay and at other times says he wants to go home. I know how you feel as I was so sad when my granddaughter no longer wanted to stay and thought she would never come again. Now here she is wanting to stay every weekend and we have to sometimes say she needs to stay home ?. Your grandson will change again I'm sure.

This and another thread about dgc have resonated so much with me. I’ve been thinking about my dgm who was a beacon of safety in a very turbulent childhood. Whenever I think of her I smile and feel warm inside - even after all these years. I like to think that my dgc will do the same with me as all the things we’ve done together are there in their emotional memory’s banks and are contributing to the wonderful young men I’m sure they’ll become.
Additionally, I know that the emotional support we give to their parents helps to sustains the parents in the hard work they put into their parenting and to each other. All that helps the dgc although they don’t of course know it,
But oh <eyes prickle> to enjoy another bath time being soaked by them and then to sit on the bed reading a bedtime story.

The exact same thing is happening with our 5 year old granddaughter but it’s nothing to do with lockdown. She will happily spend the entire day with us, have her tea and bath but the minute she gets into bed she gets upset and wants her Mummy. We inevitably end up sitting by the side of her bed until she falls asleep. It’s difficult as we want to give our daughter a break sometimes but I think we just have to be patient until she grows out of it.

The more you try and get a child to do something it seems the less likely they are to want to. He’s still only little and I’m sure in time will start wanting to sleep over again, let him do it in his own time and just enjoy the time you are together .

PollyDolly

Have you tried pretending to be sad and upset yourself, encouraging him to be a brave boy and look after you? This used to work with my GC.

Why on earth would you want to do that? It's not the job of a small child to 'look after' a grandparent, even (or maybe especially) as some kind of manipulative ruse!

One reason some of the kids might feel uneasy around grandparents, is that some of them have picked up the knowledge that the virus can be very dangerous to older people. Although they may not realise it themselves, it might be making being with older people feel like a more difficult situation to deal with emotionally. They just feel the whole thing is less fraught being with their younger parents rather than their older grandparents.