Is this normal

It’s 2nd October for goodnesss sake.

ninathenana

Thank you for clarifying.

Dad doesn't have a say in that case, as long as the children aren't in any physical or emotional danger.

If his concerns come from things the children have said or their unhappiness, he should be trying to be positive with them but still able to address those concerns with mum.

If this is a newish breakup, it might just take a little time for all involved, both children and adults to adjust to new situations.

Be patient, it will hopefully pass

It sounds like your dd has moved on very quickly from her marriage as you are saying he is a soon to be ex. That is not a criticism, I mean she seems to be very quickly introducing her new partner to children before they have come to terms with the split. Now there may be a huge back story, however I can understand why their father is unhappy if he's being edged out of a relationship with his children. It all seems very rushed to me.

Sorry I obviously didn't explain very well.
If their father shows interest in seeing them over Christmas/New Year then of course he should. I would never dispute that. As I said, it hasn't been decided what days over the Christmas period they will be with him or DD and new partner. They will be spending some time with us but I don't think he should dictate who they see when they are with their mum. He does exactly as he pleases when they are with him, including taking them on holiday with out consultation.

I would be a put out if I was the dad.
How long has the current partner been around, if you don't mind saying?

I think Dad’s sometimes get a raw deal, it should be alternate years, as others have said.

Well reverse the question - if the children were having Christmas Day with their father and his new partner and then went on to spend time with his new partner's family, would your daughter be ok with it or would she say it wasn't on? Would you think she was being unreasonable?

I expect the children would be upset not to see Dad

Do you mean that they will be with you over the Christmas period and go to see dd partners family, but not see their Dad?

I expect he would be upset by that.

Sorry but I’m with the dad on this one. I often think dads get a raw deal when mum moves a new partner in.

Christmas day should be alternated if it is to be fair and I am afraid I agree that Dad should get priority over new partners family.

So if mum gets Christmas eve/Christmas day... Dad should get boxing day and vice versa. So who each parent wants to visit should be inside that alloted time really.

Your daughter sounds very reasonable to me, nina!

DD3 has told the Arsenal that he cant introduce the children to his latest until they are a proper item. We think she is married.

Do they have a custody agreement? Christmas and other special ocassions are clearly shared between parents

My son is separated from his 2 children (they live with their mother). They are 5 and 9, have always had Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her, and whatever bloke is current. She lets my son have them for Boxing Day (so that's when we see them too. Can't your daughter do that?