Adopting a grandma

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

I had my concerns about this post and wrote the sender a PM. She responded by asking me to take her post down as she realised she had put it on the wrong site. I replied that she would need to contact GN admin but I see the post is still active! ?‍♀️

Hereis a link. www.home-start.org.uk/Pages/Category/things-we-can-help-with

Home Start might be an option - they are generally women whose children have left now and who offer supportive relationships with families struggling with problems - like you mental health difficulties. They are hands-on.

I am an ‘adopted grandma’ to several children, but the role has always evolved naturally. I think it would be rather awkward to try to deliberately establish a family role from scratch. Each of my ‘grandparent’ roles came about as a result of me helping the family with something, so perhaps you could see if your local AgeUK has any suggestions.

When my children were tiny I passed a lady in our village at the bus stop on a filthy wet day, I offered her a lift to our local market town and home again later.
It became a regular thing and we would have a coffee or lunch together she eventually became an adopted Grandma, she babysat for us and would come and enjoy a Sunday lunch etc. It was a mutually beneficial arrangement that evolved naturally.
I think to adopt a grandma is immediately putting pressure on both parties and could end disastrously.
I don’t know what the solution is but I feel you’re entering unchartered territory inviting a stranger in to the family.

I know you say you would like to adopt a grandma but sounds to me like you want/need a home help? Why would a 'grandma' necessarily be there in a morning? Or want to help you clean up the house? I appreciate you say you have anxiety issues, however, I do think mixing and meeting other young parents would benefit you and your son more. What about Gingerbread? They would possibly help you with a whole host of problems.

A couple of houses ago I was adopted by the little girl living next door- I really only babysat especially as her maternal grandmother was so dippy the house was flooded when the parents returned from a night out. The woman had left a bath tap running and the plug in.

I was working full time then so did not have a lot of time but we were good friends even when she was in her mid teens and we lost track.

I think it’s by far the best if you ‘adopt’ a grandma within your circle within friends neighbours acquaintances and never off the internet both for the acquired grandparents safety and the child’s
In my opinion advertising for a grandparent is a highly risky thing to do
Slightly different I know but a single acquaintance ‘adopted’ a friend in very similar circumstances to you someone older to look up to to take advice from and to help nurture it was months later that she found her child a young boy had been abused
I would never trust someone unknown to me or to others around me

It's a lovely idea and my neighbours have done it. The 'real' grandparents are in India so only visit once a year. They adopted an elderly woman who's outlived her entire family.

Danielle, it might be best to look closer to home, perhaps in your own street, or ask family/friends for suggestions. Grannies bring much love and cheer to a family!

Hi

.We see this sort of request every now and again and understand your need but suggest you be very careful as you won't know anything about a person who volunteers and there are some rather strange people around