New user? Old user? Lurker? We'd love your views.

BBbevan I'm sorry you feel this way and that you felt snubbed. That's horrible. I apologise for not replying properly to your lovely comment, apart from a blush emoticom.
I was embarrassed, as I'm not good at accepting complements and wasn't sure why I merited it.
I even looked up cariad to see what meant and it gave me quite a lift.
I think you have been on GN longer than me as I have noticed your name in a number of posts. Your name always intrigued me.
Please do not leave GN, I'm sure others think the same. we need people like you on here.

There is one category you have forgotten. That of leaver, I posted on January 11th. That I often felt like a wallflower at a party. I have not changed my mind. Things came to a head when I posted several times on the Be nice to each other ‘ thread. I hardly had a mention or reply. So goodbye

I really enjoy GN as the chance to chat with women of my own age is marvelous. Some time ago there was a poster who was incredibly aggressive and insulting, and seemed to go out of her ( or his, perhaps?) way to be unpleasant and twist comments from other posters. At one point I said I wouldn't reply to this person again, and 'goodbye. ' I had so many private messages from other GN contributors who said that this person had been on the site in several guises and that I shouldn't leave. I had meant only to ignore the nasty one, but it was touching to have such a warm response. I do believe that this same person was on again a few months ago but seems to have faded away now, and that is positive because GN should be a site where it is a pleasure to have a discussion and share views, often with so much humour. Long may it last.

Please remember we are NOT all old women!

I'm a fifty year old male, and a grandad. I was (am) on Mumsnet and there they're a bit more aware of not having to be female.

Not all of us are Mrs Doubtfire either!

I’m glad I could help Party4 I’ve walked your path.

I think that a lot of the feelings people have that they are ignored comes because so many don't read the threads before posting, and post things that have already been said.

If someone has already made a point, or just a contribution to something like the 'words and phrases that irritate' thread, only to find someone else making the same point half a dozen posts later, it can seem like theirs was ignored. As threads like this are good ones for the nervous or new to join in on, it is all the more reason for people to let them know that they have been seen.

Of course threads like that one will have a lot of repetition, but it costs nothing to acknowledge that someone else has spoken first, and make it clear that their post has been read - it's just good manners, really.

Got, muddled, it's the other thread, which still isn't working.

Welcome Party, it's always good to see new users, I'm sure you will be a valuable contributor to GN.
There are always people willing to help if, you have problems on the site.

If you wish to dip your toe in the water, try posting on the gentle Good Morning and Kitchen threads. The posters there are kind and friendly and I have never seen politics, nor religion discussed.

PS. GNHQ thank you, this thread is working normally again. ??

Very new to GN and not confident in getting my way round the site but do find it to be most interesting/informative the opinions of others giving food for thought.
During a difficult family situation, helped having others in same situation offering sound advice (thanks Nankate).
Much has happened in life over past 6yrs,moving /downsizing,retirement,personal illness,care n family bereavements so have lost the network of people I had.Following this site and hopefully a near meet up has helped.
Do not understand why people become aggressive in their replies rather than just beg to differ.I tend to avoid entering into politics and religion as ashamed to say have little knowledge and understanding and certainly not enough to comment on.

Very sad.

He was on most of the forums last night! I got fed up reporting them all and alerted HQ that there were too many to report. I know I was not alone.

He must have been really desperate for a soulmate, it must have taken him ages to post! Then again, he obviously has plenty of time to kill.
What he doesn't realise is that we are not a bunch of daft old grannies, easily taken in by someone like him and quite offended at the insensitivity, of posting on a bereavement thread.

and reported again

Where are you GNHQ?

Reported

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Must admit I hadn't thought of the downside to like and not like buttons Doodledog
Maybe not such a good idea after all.

That's a shame Mimidl You are entitled to share your opinions on here whether new or not. Don't get involved with any posters who are unpleasant. As Marydoll said there are a lot of kind and supportive people on here too.

Agree Marydoll I found most posters polite and supportive which is what you want if you come on here with a problem or worry.

We shouldn't forget the many, kind and supportive posters on here and there are many. That's why I will continue to be a member.

I'm mainly a Lurker, and agree with others that some members can be blunt and rude to the OP. It seems as though people can be very hurtful and don't care if they hurt their feelings as long as they get their two pence worth into the conversation.
I don't like commenting too much as I wouldn't like to get into an argument with a poster who feels I shouldn't have an opinion as I'm fairly new to Gransnet.
I check in regularly and find a lot of the posts interesting however.

Ah I see. Thanks Kandinsky.
Mind you, fewer regular posters does mean we get to ‘know’ one another a bit?

Good post, Doodlebug.

I use a forum with a ‘not like’ button, and it causes a lot of problems. People press it without saying why, so the OP has no idea whether it is because the post is factually incorrect, the presser disagrees, the topic has been discussed before or what. It adds nothing to the conversation, and can be a thread killer.

Some posters are followed about with ‘thumbs downs’, as they have upset others who ‘gang up’ on them. There are those who want to ‘make a point’, but can’t be bothered to actually make it, so just click ‘thumbs down instead and hide behind that.

It seems to encourage ‘cliquey’ behaviours, as others get lots of ‘likes’ whenever they post, and there are regular calls for the facility to be removed.

People get upset and feel hurt, so you get accusations of bullying. I don’t think it’s bullying so much as cowardice, but it must be awful to see 37 ‘dislikes’ and very few constructive comments, which does happen.

Threads get derailed when dislikes appear on a reply post (usually one where the poster announces that they haven’t read the rest of the thread, then posts advice that has been discussed several times before), gets huffy and asks why. Subsequent posts are then about how it’s rude to butt in without reading, the OP’s post gets lost , she complains, and so it goes on.

You can’t please all of the people all of the time, I suppose.

Posters have been asking for a like, button for years, to no avail.

Good ideas Janiepops.