When to step back

Never had any personal hygiene problems but my son wasn’t very keen on changing his sheets or airing his bedroom till he got a girlfriend. The pictures of Sandra Bullock in a bikini came down off the walls too

You could try her with some of these The novelty value alone might make her want tom get in the shower.

Lush, and other places, also make bars of shampoo for the eco warriors amongst us. Maybe that would light her candle. You can use the shampoo as body wash too.

Yes. I think that's fair. Tip toeing never did anybody any good.

Went to hug my 13-year old grandson and stepped back saying ‘your hair smells love’ . Apparently he washed it that night. Went to give him a hug just now ‘you smell good’ I said.

Big smile. We need to be honest. But not in a nasty way.

It will sort itself out. This time next year, you won't be able to get her out of the bathroom. I think some teens need a bit of time before they become fully aware of their bodies and necessities.

Good point ClareAB .

Just leave her to it would be my suggestion. It's an available area that Mum clearly cares about, to "rebel" over.

Just wait for her to get a boyfriend. You'll not be able to get her out of the bathroom

I would just leave her to it, there is nothing like nagging for making a teenager dig their heels in.
I hear this all the time " why won't he/she go and shower when I tell them " ? Would you bathe when someone tells you ?

I would advise your dd to leave her to it.
Pick your arguments is the best advice.
Although …... my dh had skin problems and was told by a skin specialist that he showers too often and should not have the water too hot.
Problem solved,so at least she won`t have that problem.

Now I come to think of it, I can't even remember when our 2 started their periods. They just seem to have got on with it.
I suppose I must have bought them pads or tampons and told them how to dispose of them. We were all so busy, working fulltime etc.
I'm going to ask them about it.

Just part of the daily routine for my three, but I have to nag my grandchildren a bit more, especially the girls, I wonder if it’s sudden shyness, they are cousins, and share a bedroom and a bathroom when they’re here, but at ten, they’re a little old for jumping in the bath together!

I would definitely continue with not nagging to shower.
It’s very personal and there aren’t many things a fifteen year old has control over. She will become uncomfortable in not showering and washing her hair, but let her do it in her own time.
I also think parents may see the outward appearance as a reflection on their parenting. It isn’t. Just relax and let it go.

I have changed my mind on so many matters now that I am a Grandma!

Shower/bath either is available to her, my daughter is very conscious of the environment and tries to use solid soaps and cut down on the plastics, although GD does have nice toiletries for christmas birthdays . It’ll all right itself as time passes I’m sure.

I agree with totally dropping the subject.
It is possible that she is teen trying to excert some control.

Your granddaughter is probably more than happy to shower etc but just wants to do so with out being told by mum.

Your daughter is choosing to pick her battles, very wise.

Lovely Adult bath/shower stuff, body lotions etc in xmas stocking??

Could it be due to climate change worries - ie worrying about over consumption of water and electricity and buying those products such as plastic shower gels and shampoos?

Just a thought.

My 13 yr old granddaughter needs reminding to shower and wash her hair. She's on the high functioning end of the autism spectrum, and is very scatterbrained and disorganised. She's already started her periods, and manages that we'll.
My daughter doesn't nag but does remind her about personal hygiene.
I'd be inclined to leave your granddaughter to her personal hygiene with the odd reminder now and then. As long as she isn't smelly, I think it's okay.

But do we need to shower every day?
When I was at school I had a bath once a week and a quick stand-up wash the rest of the time. I don’t think I was unusual either, and can only remember one girl in the entire school who smelled.

Some people consider that showering every day isn’t good for the skin and depletes the natural oils. Maybe your GD has read something like that on the internet, Tanith.

Has your DD asked GD why she doesn’t like showering? Would she have a bath instead?
At one time my skin used to itch horribly after a shower, until I started applying oil to my skin as soon as I was dry.
If I were your DD I would just let GD get on with it, unless she actually looked dirty or smelled!

She may have body issues which are exacerbated in the shower. I remember feeling a bit like that when I was a teenager. When she next mentions the friend who smells, respond with....” well, that’s why we need to shower everyday”. Hope it works out for you?

I've known a few teens who leave a bit to be desired in the hygiene department. (Girls and boys)

Trying to get my 12 year old in the bath is difficult, and has been for some time.

I'm hoping he'll grow out of it (the habit, not the bath!) like his older brother did, eventually.

Thanks everyone, there is no full length mirror in the bathroom lol. I’m going to let my daughter deal with it how she feels is best unless there is a ‘niff’ in the air ?

If not depressed. Then I would think she’s probably going through a stage of I will do whatever whenever .

My grandson's personal hygiene and time spent in the bathroom went from average to excessive, all of a sudden. I then wondered whether he had a girlfriend. Yes, he did, and a couple of years older, too. His friends were most impressed!

Tanith, the 'getting her to stop whatever she’s doing' I'm very familiar with! Sometimes, that involves setting a time limit, confiscating the mobile - even turning off the electricity at the mains!

How very strange. Of all the turbulent times in the teenage years hygiene was never a problem -quite the opposite in fact.
As you seem sure there is no underlying problem I would leave her to it.
If it gets to the point of being offensive I am in no doubt her close friends will let her know !