OH Birthday

I am in the same dilemma for tomorrow.

OH is bed/chairbound and sleeps most of the time. He has piles of books (my go-to present for him) which he can only read for 10 minutes before he drops off. There is nothing he needs - except a good carer!

I will probably make a cake.

I’ve also this dilemma, added to by DCs asking what does Dad want for his big birthday.
Apart from a trip away, I’m stuck. I know he wants to start a new hobby, but the equipment is very specific so I dare not buy anything without him there.
I asked on behalf of the DCs so that’s sorted, I hope. I’m going down the aftershave shower gel route for the unwrapping bit.
Luckygirl I know your DH is unwell, would he enjoy some man’s cologne?

I recently had this problem. DH was 80, in June.
When asked, all he usually says is, I would like to see the kids!!
So we organised a family party, with as many as possible that could come on the date, which was the bank holiday weekend.
It was a great success, with DD and SIL hosting, as they have a large garden. The weather was kind to us, and a good time was had by all.
Luckygirl, a cake sounds ideal, and Happy Birthday wishes to Mr Lucky for tomorrow.

Luckygirl How about a subscription toAudible for your husband? He wouldn’t have anything to hold which is the exhausting bit.

My DH was 70 on Saturday and didn’t want anything and certainly no ‘fuss’ (we tend to buy what we want when we see it rather than wait for special occasions).

A week before he’d broken his neck chain irreparably so I found a chunky silver chain I no longer wear at the bottom of my jewellery box and threaded his anchor charm on to it.

We went out for a lovely meal and I gave him his present - he said he couldn’t have had a better day!

For our Golden Wedding (at which time DH had started on his journey into Dementia) DD2 compiled a "Show Reel" of photographs depicting all our significant people and events. She backed it with a sound track of tunes from the various Bands OH played in. I will ask her to update it with pictures of our rapidly growing up DGC ready for DH's 80th birthday in November. Something he can watch with no effort on his part. He will probably nod off half way through

For my dear old dad's last birthday I found a book of old photos of his locality. He was delighted with it. He was very ill at the time and sadly passed away a few weeks later but I think the book stirred some very happy memories for him

Have. A look at this website for ideas

www.findmeagift.co.uk/gifts-for-men/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMItejXnaa05AIVTLTtCh1ouQhiEAAYASAAEgKnT_D_BwE

I quite like the idea of a steam train ride for two! The personal heritage plaque or the family surname and coat of arms.

We did the North York moors steam train last year when we were on holiday, now we fancy the flying Scotsman.

Maybe one day! It always sells out so fast.

Good luck in finding something suitable.

What about a day out somewhere or an activity he'd enjoy. Can include you or not - really depends on what the experience is.

I treated my husband to a flight simulator day out near Gatwick. He was buzzing afterwards.

Afternoon tea, that way you get to go too! Cinema tickets, restaurant voucher. Book? Magazine subscription? XX

OH and I send each other emails throughout the year entitled “Dear Santa”, with requests for books, CDs, or whatever, that we would like. Come Christmas/birthday we have invariably forgotten what we asked for and get some nice surprises. Sometimes Santa is asked for very specific things, I have received an email for Santa this year requesting a very specific pair of sailing gloves that he would like and I would never know about.
It doesn’t help the OP (sorry), but maybe useful for the future.

Get something personalised - as well as having a family celebration. There are web sites offering personalised gifts, with a few words engraved on them. I gave one to my husband on a big birthday and he loves it. But you can also make a simple photo album of happy family pictures, or just a picture frame with several family pictures in it. Its personal things which make the biggest impression. There are expensive alternatives - I think you can find someone on the net who will record a conversation or conversations with an older person, and then write their life story in a book - copies for the person concerned and family. Not cheap! Or you can get a genealogist to find out about the person's family tree - also expensive.
If, like most of us, there is no money for these expensive options and/or they would not be welcome, the individualised gifts could be the way to go.

I got my partner an “experience” voucher so that he could chose which activity he would like. He went off road driving and loved it. Last year I got him a spitfire flight simulator session. The beaming smile in his face showed how much he loved it.

Wrap yourself up and put a bow on your head??

No one EVER takes me at face value but I ALWAYS say a big box of peace and quiet. If she would only take herself and all the bloody noise makers away for the day I would be SO relieved. By no, bloody great party (my idea if he’ll) and endless bloody grandchildren around all the bloody time

Dogsmother does it have to be a “thing” - how about a very special day out either linked to an interest or a place which means something to you both, seeing all the family and some special memories.
Luckygirl your dilemma is hard - I would have the family round to make it a special day for you and for them as sadly your DH may not be up to appreciating much more. You will be able to share memories of happier birthdays in the past.
For DH’s last Birthday - his 70th - we had all the family together here for an afternoon tea party with bunting, sandwiches from Mr Waitrose, cake and champagne. He had barely been out of hospital a week and I knew he could not cope with more.
I think seeing everybody together was all he really wanted - and he died 6 weeks later.
So a very special day.

I am a lady who has everything I want/need. The best presents I have had in my life have been experiences. from my son and daughter. I might say they were quite expensive. My son once gave me a weekend sailing trip on a yacht starting from Poole and going to Weymouth. I was one of 10 passengers and we had to help out with various jobs, such as steering the boat, trimming the sails etc. This was for my 60th birthday. My daughter gave my husband and me a joint Christmas present of a sledge trip on Grouse Mountain in Canada where they were living at the time. The sledges were pushed up and down the snowy slopes by a couple of men on skis. Unfortunately these were the only experiences we got, I think they were just too expensive, but lovely as one offs for a special occasion. I have never forgotten them.
There are a lot of cheaper experiences and the memories are what counts, and you don't get those with a pair of nice socks.

I used to give an old friend a book of vouchers - grany-sitting, a cake, a bunch of flowers, homemade jam, etc., - to be reclaimed as and when she wanted to use them.

I love our Amazon Echo. She can do so many things. She can read to me, play radio programmes, podcasts, play quizzes with me, give information and many other things.

And for the person who said they exchange emails all year about Dear Santa, what about the amazon wish list? I keep that up to date and for my birthday next week anticipate several books I wanted. But you can put things other than books on it. No, I have not got shares in Amazon. Dammit¬!

An outing, if your husband is still in good health, dogsmother. I packed a picnic lunch and told DH we were off on a mystery tour on our bikes on his last birthday.

If however you are in the sad situation of having a husband who is not fit, then it does become more difficult.

Perhaps serve whatever he likes best for whichever meal he eats most of, or wander down memory lane if you have photos of previous birthdays to look at?

Neilspurgeon oh I hear your frustration!

Luckygirl best wishes to Mr Lucky for tomorrow, hope he has a peaceful, comfortable day. The audible books idea was a good one for him I thought.
Dogsmother maybe you could do your own token and wrap it for your Other Half. A day out anywhere of his choice, trip to the theatre or cinema, out to his favourite restaurant.

For my birthday tomorrow we are going to Eltham Palace then to Greenwich pier to take a cruise up the river.
I wish Mr Lucky a peaceful day tomorrow, Luckygirl.

Don't know where you live but how about a canal trip with afternoon tea or lunch. Got my other half a session in a flight simulator and he loved it and it wasn't too expensive. One year I got tickets for two to the aircraft exhibition they have permanently there, he was pleased. If you're near the Morgan car company they do tours with afternoon tea. My hubby is always happy with a nice bottle of red wine.