A dog for problem child.

Incidentally, I noticed that most of the wives of the men with AS that I used to work with had dogs. When I commented on it one said that she loved the spontaneous cheerful affection that a dog offered. The others nodded emphatically.

I would maybe see if you could visit someone with a dog, perhaps offer to take it out for walk with your grandson.



Hope it all goes well for you all.

I was thinking hamsters too but you can only have one Syrian hamster in a cage - 2 will fight so you would need 2 cages. There are some breeds that get on with each other but I think those are smaller breeds and therefore possibly more difficult to keep. I had a roborovski Dwarf hamster once and couldn’t catch him so couldn’t handle him. Very cute but not to cuddle. You could think about gerbils. They are easy to look after, they will live together, they’re not nocturnal like hamsters and they are less likely to bite! The last time I had gerbils, I had 4 males in a gerbilareum (that’s like a tank with a cage top) Often they were more fun to watch than the telly!

lemongrove I so agree with you. So many people can comment on autism without having any experience of an autistic child.
kircubbin for what it’s worth I am so sorry your DD and your family are having such a difficult time. If it is possible that your DGS is autistic please help them to get a diagnosis if possible (please don’t quote labels at me) a diagnosis can help you understand a child, a child understand their problems and help for the future.
Back to the dog. Has your DGS expressed an interest in having a dog? If so, try taking him somewhere where they have dogs and see how he gets on. My DGS loves his dog and would never harm or hurt his dog in any way but all children (including autistic ones) are different.

I agree with Mossfar try helping with the dogs at a rescue centre or visits to someone with a placid dog. I think it takes a while to get a support dog trained for a specific child.
Dogs can be a great help for children who have additional needs. I don't see why it should be necessary to get a dog for the other child as well.

GS is on “The Spectrum” they got a dog and it has made a difference.

I think the autism has no bearing on whether a child will love, be gentle and care for an animal.
Just like everyone else, some love animals, some are indifferent, and some are nervous.

Cross posted with wildswan.

Why jump to a dog? Start with a couple of hamsters - one each and see how it goes.

If a dog was brought in then it should be a "family" dog. Not, in this situation just for one particular twin.

A lot will depend on why the child is being a problem for his mum. None of us know that. It may be related to losing his father, or a hundred other reasons.

As long as the mother thinks a dog would be safe, and not maltreated in any way by the children, if the family want a dog - then get a dog.

Maybe they could start by getting a smaller animal which would be less work, but would teach the children how to care for a pet.

I have several friends with autistic children. As one of them says, when you know one autistic child, you know one autistic child. Children with autism are as different as anyone else so what goes for one child doesn't necessarily go for another.

I know of someone who had to rehome her beloved dog after it became a target for her autistic child. It doesn't always work out well.

What a disaster waiting to happen
How unfair to the other child.

I'm not keen myself as I agree Mum would do most of the work.I don't live near them so can't offer practical help.

Before actually getting a dog it might be worthwhile them becoming a 'friend' in a local dog charity - such as The Dogs Trust.
They often need help with exercising the dog in their care. It would an opportunity to for this child to interact with dogs whilst his family observe the effect on him.
It would avoid the possibility of having to rehome a dog if actually getting him his own dog did not work out.

What helps a person with ASD works as well for any child - structure, predictability and calm.
The charity I was talking about was very, very careful to match child with dog. They had almost a library of all sorts of dogs in all shapes, sizes and temperaments. There were some lovely outcomes. Not as easy as just 'getting a dog' though!

kirkubbin yes, an official diagnosis is extremely hard to get which places an impossible burden on the family.
My DGS did get one, because his mother kept plugging away at the authorities, but you have to be single minded about it.
Meanwhile, if you haven’t done already, read up on the subject and contact the Autism Society.That will help you come to a conclusion about his behaviour.Good luck.?

I would begin by looking at local charities and groups for children with such problems. We have a teaching farm near us where the children come for experience, get used to the animals and parents / carers can quietly chat with experienced staff about getting a pet.

lemongrove kircubbin says the boy may be a bit autistic I don’t think that should bar others from expressing their viewpoint

Its too big a gamble what if the lad didn’t like the dog or what if the brothers quarrelled over it what if he got angry with the dog (had a melt down) I think this needs a lot more thought for both the dog and the mother s sake
Are you the grandmother? Have you a dog? has the boy been around dogs? Has he said he wanted one? ? It’s unfair on the dog to be used in such an unknown situation
I would test the water with friends’ dogs or yours if you have one before even considering one of his own

That sounds an excellent idea Jane10

To be honest, it would help the OP if only posters with any experience of autism in the family ( and getting a pet) post comments on here.
Obviously the boy’s mother would have to like animals and be happy to have one in the house.

There is a charity that matches the right sort of dog to an individual child. I know several families with autistic children who have really benefited. I can't remember the name of the charity though. Old age!

Help has been very hard to get,no official diagnosis and the appointments have a long wait.

kirkubbin
The short answer is YES!
My DGS has autism and a pet was recommended, they got a cat ( as being easier than a dog) although he would love a dog to take for walks.
He loves all animals ( most children do, but especially those on the spectrum.) He is gentle and caring with animals and relates to them ( they don’t need conversation and don’t judge)?It made a big difference to him.

No. The last thing a stressed parent needs is an extra responsibility. Try getting help for the child from school and/or the doctor.