Daughter oroblems

Ngaio1, I am glad you have listened to the professionals and followed their advice. The hardest love, and the best love we can give our children at times is tough love, when we must stand up to them and say no, when every strand of our heart wants to scoop them them and do everything we can to make them happy again.

Be strong and I hope everything gradually improves.

Sending good wishes to you.

Not a prayer etc, but hoping for a good outcome for you and your DD (and for the partner who hopefully gets the help they need too, but you need just concern yourself with you and DD)

Its very positive that the pros have a plan in place

Ngaiol, I'm so sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you listened to the professionals. As a PP said, it's not just about protecting DD, but also about protecting you. Also, if they're not allowed to be at each other's flats, I assume the police don't want them together, period. Letting them get around that by moving in w/ you, would be defying the police in my view. Good that you decided not to.

Glad you changed the locks, too! I would even be wary of letting DD stay at my house for more than a few hours' visit, if that, b/c she might bring him in after a while. I know you love her and might want to see her sometimes, but IMO, that would be better at a neutral place, neither her house or yours.

In time, I hope, DD will realize this man is not for her. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for young women to have to experience a few bad episodes before they come to this realization. I trust you will be there for her when she does, no matter how long it takes. Until then, please be patient - and careful. Hugs!

"It's mother's privilege to try to direct her adult child's life. "

Hmmm... IDK about that. It's the kind of "I'm still your mum, so I can still tell you what to do" attitude that caused issues between me and my otherwise lovely mum. But ...

"How you do it is the key to whether it's right or wrong to interfere and circumstances alter cases....if you choose to forbid this man your house you will be helping your daughter."

This ^ I agree w/. Nor do I see it as "interfering." The OP has a right to forbid someone in her house. And yet, by exercising her right, she will, in fact, be helping her DD, even if DD doesn't realize it for a long time.

I hope it all goes well for you. I'm supposing you have a Trespass Order lodged with the police now. That doesn't stop him coming round but it does mean he'll be arrested if he causes any bother on or near your property.

As you will probably know the Ngaio is an indigenous plant of New Zealand and used in medicine.

This beautiful plant is a great insect repellent. It has been traditionally used to treat ulcers, skin eruptions, eczema, pain relief and bruising. It contains Ngaione which is a potent anti-bacterial, killing all ranges of bacteria

Carry on repelling unwanted pests Ngaio