I know i've got to do it...and i want to......but

I second what everyone else has said. I have an automatic and I love it, wouldn’t change. But do have some lessons on motorway driving, so many of my friends refuse to drive on a motorway and it’s restrictive. I wouldn’t like to set off to drive to London but I could if I planned it but otherwise I couldn’t get to many quite local places.

If you really do not want to drive, sit down and work out what it actually costs to run the car your DH has annually.

Take everything into account, petrol /diesel, oil changes, servicing, insurance than work out how many times you could take a taxi for that amount.

Tell your DH frankly that you never have liked driving nor felt good at it, and you don't want to start again, and find out what the other options are.

Would you honestly not be better off moving so you don't need to drive if the day comes when DH shouldn't?

Yes, you can grit your teeth and drive now, but what about the day when you shouldn't be behind the wheel either?

Enjoying this stage of our lives can be a lot easier if you are within walking /cycling distant of the things and places you need daily and not too far from the hospital, dentist, optician, chiropodist, etc. etc.

Actually I would disagree with always having the sat nav on, only use it when you need it, in can be quite distracting.

I never use it on routes I know, only when going somewhere new.

Go for it! The freedom I enjoy from driving is wonderful. Nothing beats a try. You have nothing to lose. Book some lessons with a sympathetic instructor.
The roads are busy now but you will get used to them and you can avoid the horrible motorways.
Satnavs are useful sometimes but I still prefer printing off Google map directions.
Good luck!

I had some advanced driving lessons and found my confidence boosted no end. Look up on line for local instructor.

I feel for you but you will be so independent! Go automatic. If you live in the UK then RED are an excellent driving school. Just phone up and explain and I am sure they will understand. Good luck! x

Have the instructor teach you as if you were a total beginner. An automatic will give you less to think about. You can do this.

Definitely an automatic, and get yourself a sat nav. I honestly couldn't cope without mine. Especially since we moved from London suburbs to Devon. Automatic means no hill starts, no rolling back at the lights, no "finding the biting point" of the clutch and then kangarooing down the bloody road. As for parking, try to make sure you park in large public car parks where there are usually lots of spaces to choose from, even if it means a slightly longer walk t your destination, it's worth for the lack of stress it causes you. Automatics are slightly more to buy, and slightly more expensive to maintain, buy hey, life is short and there's no pockets in shrouds. Go for it!

It's just about building your confidence. And as others have said, you don't HAVE to drive on motorways or at night or in bad weather if you really don't want to. If you plan journeys, so that you can avoid heavy traffic (eg: set off really early in the morning, if you have to!) that's a help too. SATNAVs are brilliant for the final part of any journey (the 'where the heck is that street?' bit) but always take a map too and look at the route before you go. Don't be too reliant on a SatNav. It may be that you only drive your car into town and to doctors/hospital appointments and you'll be quite happy with that, so just take it a step at a time. Find a nice (female?) sympathetic driving instructor and have some refresher lessons as a start. Good luck!

I found it easy to change between manual and automatic. When I had my Smart, my husband had a manual car and I drove both.

If you’re that anxious about it ...why put yourself through it? Surely you could get a taxi for hospital appointments? Train to visit family and friends? Bus to do shopping or shop online? Probably cheaper than the cost of running a car.

I agree about the Satnav - it's very distracting

I've had several goes at learning to drive over the years. I was a very nervous driver and am quite a nervous passenger too. I never built up enough confidence to take the test but I felt at my most confident and competent when driving an automatic, though, again, I never plucked up courage to take the test.

As you have already passed, I am sure you must be an OK driver and some refresher lessons will help you gain more confidence - and I would certainly recommend an automatic.

If you truly find it too nerve wracking, as Jane says, getting rid of the car will save you money and leave more available for taxis. (But I still think it is much more convenient to be able to drive).

So much good advice already. Your choice of an instructor is key - try to find someone who is older, has had lots of older pupils and is very patient. That is vital. And take your time - do it at your own pace and don't let anyone push you before you feel ready. I tried 3 others before I found the right instructor for me - don't be pushed into signing up for a course too quickly; find the right person.

PS about motorways - don't forget that, as you've already passed your test, when your confidence is better, you can have motorway lessons. Have as many as you feel you need. NO-ONE could have been as nervous as I was when I learned but now I really enjoy driving and it is such a liberating thing to be able to do.

I never learnt to drive either so have no freedom, my mum did and my granny didn’t. Meant neither myself nor my granny had/have much freedom in travelling further than where I can get with an Uber or public transport. You are inspiring me! Never to late to learn!

I never learnt because I’m rather scatty, and easily distracted. My mother put me off learning as she was worried I’d run someone over

I know it's different to learning from scratch but canyou ask around friends and neighbours for a recommendation? Also dont commit to a block booking of lessons even if its cheaper - try the instructor first. Ask if you can have one trial.lesson at the full price and decide then about a block - if they say no then theres plenty of others!!

I suspect that we shall all have to get used to driving something different when cars are all electric or hybrid.

First of all, if you arent keen on driving, I would do as Grandetante suggests and work out all the running costs of your present car. Then you have a figure to work out whether just giving up the car and using taxis is the answer. If you want to keep a car I would go for an automatic but also a small SUV style car like a Juke or Mokka because they are easier to get in and out of as you get older and you have a better view of the road ahead. We have just gone down from 2 cars to one as neither of our cars was quite right if I need to use a wheelchair. Not only is the gearbox automatic but almost everything else is. Even when we are using full beam on the headlights if a car comes towards us the headlights automatically dim and the same if we go from an area with no streetlights to an area with. The three cameras, front, rear and from above, plus the sensors make parking a doddle.
PS just as well I checked before posting. Automatic spellcheck had turned gearbox into gerbil

If you passed your test in a manual,I would suggest you stay with a manual gearchange. If you had the skills, just need a refresher spell with a competent driving instructor. Have confidence, it is only a car. Take your time and good luck. Enjoy your motoring, it certainly give you a level of independence.

It's twenty years since I last drove, over thirty since I passed my test, at a time when driving was a pleasure, less traffic, more patient drivers, no road rage idiots. Now I don't drive for medical reasons, even though nobody has told me I can't. I just wouldn't enjoy it as much, and since I don't need to, I don't. But oh, how I miss it.

As a Green person, I would have a long hard think before becoming a driver again.
I wish I could give it up!! A bit like fags or any addiction - you convince yourself it's necessary but I am quite certain if we kept a record of why and when we use our cars, there'd be a lot fewer journeys.
We live in a small town with good bus links to the city and that is partly why we chose to live here.
We drive a small car but we try not to use it when there's an alternative.
At the moment I ferry my elderly FiL to medical apps because at 93 he can no longer use public transport.
Anyway, I'll stop this smug tirade before I miss the bus......