Friends with adult children

Grannygranby. I also have some friends who include adult children’s names on cards -sometimes even if they are married and live away. I do find this strange and don’t do it myself. I think my daughter is old enough to send her own cards from her family - or not!

I think it's odd but I still do it myself.

yggdrassil that took me back!Mam sent a Mass card to my bf when her dad died - from me! I sent one too, from myself!! I was a bit cheesed when I heard

I have a wonderful friend who never misses sending birthday cards, Christmas cards etc and never forgets dates of birthdays, However she always includes the names of her adult children and their partners, and grandchildren. I never include my children, grandchildren, cats or dog when I send a card to her. I feel the sentiments expressed are from me and not the rest of the family.

They probably write a job-lot and put everyone on every card so you get exactly the same in your card as their actual relatives get. They probably don't know who's getting what card till they come to write the envelope

Don't blame you Coast

I do sadly include my pets on cards but only to close friends and family who I know are animal lovers,

Am I the only one who has rebelled. I hated writing Xmas cards. My son had a fatal cardiac arrest in November 2016. I just wasn’t up to writing cards that year. In 2017 I suddenly thought if I can’t choose what I want to do at my age when can I? So, no Christmas cards from us.

Only added my kids names in cards when they were young. Soon as they left home which was about 19 in my daughters case , and 21 in my sons . I then considered them adults are fit to run their own lives .... if they wanted to send cards they would. The only concession I made was to remind them of their grandmothers upcoming birthdays..., so she could have a card from them.

I have not included my children's names on cards since they all left home, many years ago. At Christmas time though we often get scribbled updates included of how the others children are are now doing which we enjoy, but not so much the round-robin letters which one or two families keep on sending!

DH brother and SIL write the long list of all their ACs plus spouses, some of whom we have never met!
Why?
We always just write our names ( they haven’t taken the hint yet!)
. Our ACs write their own cards from their own families.

My mother always adds my name. It is so annoying and all about control. I think it is very rude. I am not her possession

My cousin also includes her dog and cat!

I wouldn’t but I have a SIL who does - plus her dogs!!

No never now, for a few years when they were coming and going I might put "and family" as they were in the house.

No, never. I stopped adding my AC's names when they left home, in their 20s.

Nor do I expect to receive Christmas cards addressed to me, my DH and my AC - I would find that extremely odd.

Same as Grandma Moira .....I have just posted a bday card for my s.il. And added 'and family', but I don't do this for friends of mine, who my children hardly know and they are adults now anyway .

I usually put from , my name and DH name and family if it is someone who knew my AC from a young age.

Three or four people we know will include DS on cards as he still lives at home. I include a friend's DD as I've known her all her life and she still lives at home.
I do write Christmas cards to a couple of dear friends "To Bob, Sue and family" "From Mary, Fred and family because we all know each other.
I don't include AC on birthday cards I write, as has been said, they can send their own.

Depends who a card is to. I still include my youngest Dd sometimes because she's a student and doesn't have her own settled home yet. If the recipient has never met my dd, I wouldn't include her name then. Ditto in that I have some friends who have never met Dh - I don't include him, either!

I include my adult children on three or four cards to people that we have all known for years.

No, let adult children buy and write their own cards if they wish to. The clue is in the name
'Adult children'

Good thank you. Although I don’t feel I could raise it with either of them without appearing very rude so glad to have got it off my chest.
Whether meant or not it distances the message because if you rarely have even met these adult children it is hardly a close personal greeting. All in all rather formal and perhaps place putting.
In both cases I think they have a too intrusive relationship with their AC. But you can’t say that either. They only go on holiday with them etc or house sit when they do; both have children living abroad.. and the ones here..totally at beck and call. The ACs are in their 40’s.

I used to really wish my mum had closer friendships and didn't emotionally only rely on my brother and me. Because there were times in our life we wanted to be free. Perhaps that’s why it gets me!

I agree, my hand aches so much from writing Christmas cards as it is! If I had to add the world and his wife, I think I’d lose the will to live!

Exactly the Same as you MOnica