my heart broke today....

lemongrove I did answer the OP before I had seen any of the subsequent posts. I gave a link to some books that might be useful for the child.

The level of ignorance about what is/is not racist is sadly not surprising to me. The unthinking comments from people, who appear to be of white British heritage, show little appreciation of the everyday racism that is the experience of many in the BAME community.

Please try not to be upset. Your four year old granddaughter was stating a fact: that she would like to look like her Mummy, after all, at her age Mummy is the most beautiful and best person in the whole wide world.

Try not to look at this with all the grown-up fears that people will be, or have already been unkind to the child, who I gather isn't the typical pasty faced British person to look at.

As far as the wee one is concerned she was stating a fact, as was my dear school friend who at a similar age, sitting in one end of the bath with her big brother at the other, burst into tears and said, "Mummy, I want to be like bruvver" Mother hecticly explained that boys and girls are different shapes.

Tell she is very lucky. Maybe show her some pictures of beautiful people who have skin like hers.

Aged 4, it's doubtful she's been a victim of racism and as others have wisely said, it's far more likely she simply doesn't want to be different to mummy.

I've never heard of Sabu being used in a racist way. Kemosabe I have heard used towards Indians but never Sabu.

EllanVannin your GS sounds beautiful and I'm sorry you were accused of being racist when you're not. It's one of the things that makes my blood boil as when will people realise that being so sensitive you jump on innocent comments keeps racism alive and well. It's when we can talk freely about things without worrying about prickly people it will be a thing of the past.

And yes, before you jump on me, I know racism still exists. Buffybee you said it so well. Good post.

Why so many interpretations of 'Sabu from the Jungle' as a racist slur? the clue is in the capital J - he starred as Mowgli in the Jungle Book.

Morgana I hope no-one has bullied your little DGD at nursery or school, but possibly she is only just beginning to notice that she and Mummy have different coloured skin and there are some suggestions about helping her with the aid of books upthread.

I do remember the front page of National Geographic not long ago - the picture was of twins, one took after their mother and the other after their father.

I can't copy and paste because of copyright but perhaps you can look at the link:
www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/04/race-twins-black-white-biggs/

I think there’s a bit of confusion here about the “jungle”. From what I understand, Sabu was the actor who played Mowgli in the film of Rudyard Kipling’s Jungle Book story. Some here have just picked up Sabu and jungle which sounds derogatory.
I think that is the case, Farmor.
And as EllanVannin has told us how old she is, she may well remember that actor.

My gd is mixed race our son was white and her mother is black. It didn't worry her when she was young.
When she got into secondary school there were a mixture of black and white students only a few mixed race. She said she didn’t feel she belonged with either of them. She did meet and is still friends with a mixed race girl, but now she has made fri3nds with mostly black people. Has two white friends.

PECS I see you are doing your best to aid and abet Lily65 in persisting with all the comments to posters alleging ‘racism’.
Yes, it is deflection, but on your part not anyone elses!

How about getting back to the OP’s problem, as I am sure we all feel for her and her DD and GDD.

Show no shock, no heartbreak, no sadness to the little girl.

She is what she is, showing she belongs to both parents. She needs to feel proud of her heritage from an early birth, otherwise what is life all about? If another child has commented , it is up to the school/ nursery to help .

As a child I was so proud to be half welsh, living in London. You gd needs to feel the same whether Dad is around or not.

Jocork A neighbouring family, when I was a child, had 5 red-haired, blue eyed children and one with black hair and brown eyes. In those pre-racist-sensitive days, he was known as Blackie, and was perfectly happy about it. I also had a black doll, which everyone called a N- doll, without any thought of it being racist or nasty. I don't think that I ever connected it, in my mind, to the many black people I saw around Liverpool.
Times and attitudes have changed, but I think that people are over-sensitive about so many things now. I wish that they would stop being insulted on other peoples' behalf. Let them speak out only for themselves if they feel discriminated against. I have some Hindu friends who are mightily amused at some of the idiotic 'racist' hoo-ha that goes on now.

To get back to the point, wise words from Bluebelle "What you make of it is what she ll make if it".

all this sounds like deflection to me!

Farmor wrote
"Interestingly, in India people tend to be very colour conscious with “fair”, meaning paler skinned, being desirable. I know of one case where a child was fairly dark, like his father, and mother, who was quite “fair” discouraged him from being out in the sun as he would get darker."
Second son works in an international school in India, and I once asked him if they had any racial problems. they have a huge mix of nationalities.
He had to think for a long time, and eventually said "The fairskinned Indians look down on the dark skinned Indians."

Grannie says 'I wish I was the same colour as you'

I think there’s a bit of confusion here about the “jungle”. From what I understand, Sabu was the actor who played Mowgli in the film of Rudyard Kipling’s Jungle Book story. Some here have just picked up Sabu and jungle which sounds derogatory.
My husband is Indian and our 5 children and 3 grandchildren have quite a variety of skin and hair colour. Mixed race families are becoming much more common now as others have said.
Interestingly, in India people tend to be very colour conscious with “fair”, meaning paler skinned, being desirable. I know of one case where a child was fairly dark, like his father, and mother, who was quite “fair” discouraged him from being out in the sun as he would get darker.

show her many different colours and that ALL colours are beautiful but not all the same.

EllanVannin. I'm sure you've told him he's extra special and that the boy actor was very handsome indeed! In fact he was beautiful!

Chewbacca. Yes! Thank you. I must confess I didn't know what the Sabu reference meant. But your photo is a gift to us! What a beautiful expression and such perfect features! This is just what I mean about the beauty of the children I taught.

(P.S. I find your comments helpful so often - thanks!)

I have to put myself up ready to be shot at:
Some of the most beautiful children I remember from my teaching days were of mixed race parents. They were truly entrancing. I remember some now, whom I used to look at in Assembly and marvel at God's gift to us of these wonderful children.
They are the way forward. Their unconscious beauty is a lesson to us. Long may it continue.

Some here do not seem to realise that racism is alive and active across the UK in all strata of society.

Morgana. (Love your name) I understand your heart breaking, but I beg you not to see too much in this. A four year old will make these statements. It might be that they want curly hair like their sister, or yellow hair like their Aunty, or to be tall like their friend... Unless somebody has said something negative about her beautiful skin colour, don't imagine anything beyond a little girl going through a natural stage of comparing herself to others. Use it to its great advantage of explaining how beautiful her skin colour is and how her mummy used to (still does?) try to get her skin to tan to make it darker! Explain that we all want lovely dark skin and people use fake tan!! Make sure she has some role models, preferably people she knows and not pop stars. Is there a black teacher at her school for example?
Above all try not to make it a bigger issue than it actually is. I believe that she is just going through a natural stage and if it weren't her skin it might have been another feature.
By the way, (I should say I'm white northern European) I used to say to the children I taught when they brought their new black baby brother/sister to see me, "I love black babies so much, I asked God to give me one but he never did." Which elicited little giggles all round.

he looks like Sabu from the Jungle

That’s one of the most shockingly racists comments I’ve read on here in a very long time. I can’t believe that it hasn’t been deleted by the moderators and that a few other posters are trying to minimise the harm that continued use of such outdated stereotypes can cause.

If she was genuinely comparing him to an actor, she could have simply said ‘Sabu, the famous Indian actor in the 1930’s.’ Why mention the Jungle?

If the poster who wrote this was being genuine, (doubtful) I can only feel incredibly sad for her young relative having to grow up surrounded by such ignorance.

I always say it’s the person I see not their colour.

If I might add my two-pennorth (sp?!) I used to work in Papua New Guinea and had a stunning-looking student whose mother was black and father white - she went on to win the title Miss Papua New Guinea.

If you do not read her comments how do you know what they are like?