17 month old being denied solid food

Gonegirl, I have...but hes having marital problems and is trying to keep her happy.

BlueBelle I said OP's son sounds really horrible, telling her to get up at 5am and go to market etc. - the DIL just sounds a bit clueless.

Jalima1108 if they go back, it will be because they arent meant to be here.
Quite honestly, perhaps they should have let her family bring him up. I'm sure they would do a much better job and as theyve been with him sice birth, they are really missing him.

well - not the plane itself
from other passengers

They do need to see the GP - he has probably caught an infection from the plane.

Beau, they didnt go to the walk in centre and he still has a really congested chest, so bad that he can barely speak I have made suggestions about steam baths and seeing the dr but they insist hes fine. Its quite difficult to ignore as I'm a caring person and our house has very thin walls so I can hear Gs struggling.

only two weeks ago

don't be surprised if they go back again before long.

M0nica, that was pretty rude. Yes I am sure where she came from, but it was only two weeks ago and the baby hasnt seen the HV yet. No doubt when he does, it will be challenging for her.

Very very judgemental post Beau how do you know the daughter in law is ‘really horrible’ and five bottles a day is not force feeding the baby isn’t a goose

I think you are way way over involved You go round checking on hidden milk tins
Having lived in the Far East the Chinese love children and are normally very caring of them
Some babies live off milk for the first two years or more and honestly it’s not up to you to try and change them or be involved in any marital problems
If they ve only been here two weeks welcome and make a friend of the young lady instead of an enemy it’s not for you to change her or question her culture just because it’s different to yours

not the Chinese - Australians as far as I know and smuggling it to China.

Yes, they have been stealing it from Australia according to another poster (another thread? or this one?)

Sounds like formula is very popular over there. www.mintel.com/press-centre/food-and-drink/three-in-four-chinese-mums-feed-their-baby-organic-infant-milk-formula

I expect your DIL is very homesick, it must be like going to live on a different planet. She may not understand about the feeding and thinks you are force feeding her baby and all the foods you mention chipolata, baked beans! are probably alien too. It must be very difficult for you in your own house, somehow you have to get talking with your son, not in a ganging up sort of way but being as practical as possible. He sounds as if he is not coping with the change either and two weeks is a fairly short time to find a job.

Yum!

I had a Portuguese custard tart for lunch
(warm from Lidl)

Sounds like your DiL has issues which are not just cultural. I don’t think you can blame her fixation on milk on her culture. Traditionally, Chinese diet does not have much in the way of dairy products and formula milk has not been used ( maybe that’s why the manufacturers are seeing a potential huge market). Chinese babies would have rice with maybe mashed vegetables or bean curd, a little fish etc. Proper Chinese cooking has lots of vegetables, beans and rice, noodles, bean curd and less meat and fish than in the western diet. So maybe she thinks it’s the Western way to have lots of milk. Sounds like a bit of education needed. Maybe there is a Chinese cultural centre if you are in a city with any sort of Chinese population, where she could get cooking advice? Other than that, she should definitely be seen by the health visitor.

Chinese custard buns do sound delicious. And probably no worse than many UK littleun get for breakfast. www.thehongkongcookery.com/2018/08/chinese-custard-buns.html

Gonegirl Sat 09-Feb-19 16:34:47

Yes

Chinese babies are weaned on congee, a watery rice porridge. Congee is a great base to mix with other foods, such as puréed pulses and vegetables. Chinese mums often include ginger and garlic.
Buy some congee
or baby rice

have you taken DIL food shopping? She might be interested to have a look round.

My son and his wife are jobless and living with us.
Yeah they just came to England two weeks ago.

not to mention the strange food the little boy has to get used to!
Then my husband caught her making three bottles of formula this morning.

Poor DIL, she's probably really nervous of you both. You poking around in their room, your DH watching what she does in the kitchen.

Give them a chance!

Lavazza, I feel so sorry for you and your poor DGS. What a truly awful situation and (sorry) but your DS sounds really horrible. I knew they were a bit obsessed with formula in China because I have been following the issues in Australian supermarkets with smuggling etc. but your situation is heart rending. They are clueless as you say and after everything you may lose contact with DGS anyway as DIL may be forced to return to China and her parents will bring him up in their way after all. I don't know what to suggest but can only hope that they are telling the truth at the walk in centre and getting a good telling off about the way they're carrying on. All you can do is keep feeding the child and hope she doesn't force feed him too many bottles. What a mess. ?

I would think the Chinese probably have different kinds of first foods for babies than we have here. Maybe the mum doesn't want the child's diet being westernised. Don't they eat fish? And rice?

Perhaps the little boy is jetlagged, missing his Chinese family, bewildered by a completely different way of life and the bottles of milk are a comfort to him for the time being.

Only been here two weeks and you're nagging the life out of them!?!?!? Good grief!

There seems to be aggressive marketing of baby formula in China www.marketingtochina.com/how-to-promote-your-baby-milk-brand-in-china/
which might explain why your dil thinks she’s doing the right thing. Hopefully living in UK she might gradually realise that toddlers need to eat a more varied diet.
But in my own family case, dil finds giving a bottle the quickest way to sort out cranky children.

^ I have found a tin of milk powder hidden in their room half gone that they only bought yesterday!!!^

What on earth are you doing going into their room?
That is intrusive - and you have obviously been poking around as the tin of milk powder was hidden.

I would be very upset indeed if my MIL - or anyone - had done that.