Retired but no time to myself

...and whose fault is it?
Fill your diary and let everyone who managed their own lives before you retired, continue in their previous manner.
The more you do, the more will be expected.
Good luck. 'NO' is your friend.

Those posters who enjoy helping out regularly, fine, but Chris doesn't seem to be happy with all the expectations that gave been placed on her, and really does need to say "no" more often. These people will find a solution. They did before she retired. I don't think it's fair to automatically assume that because Mum ( or dad) has retired, she/he should be at the beck and call of others. Ground rules need to be set before resentment and ill health kick in.

When I retired, I stepped up to 1st place on the poduim.
Now AC and GC variously occupy 2nd and 3rd. There might be exceptional circumstances when I step down however, none to date.

Even podium

Upon retirement the safest approach is firstly not to commit oneself to anything new during the first year. There are all those things you were doing while at work and a list of those things you wanted to do when you retired but it takes time to adjust. Making decdisions and doing new things straightaway can mean you never give yourself time to adjust. Then after a year you can find yourself thinking I wish I had not done that, committed myself to that.

Best thing you can do now is to tell everyone you are off on a holiday and do go away. Do not mention any date for your retturn!! Start a new life as that is what retirement offers.

It happens to many of us. I was asked to be Secretary if this, Treasurer if that. Eventually I decided to choose the five things That were really important to me and spend time on those only! Mine are home, family, friends, health and fitness, my finances! That’s all I can fit in and do well!

Pythagorus
That is your theorum.

Theorem, even.

How did these people manage when you were still working? Presumably they sorted it out for themselves.

It's nice to give people a hand now and again but I think you need to be firm about this and say you can't spend all your retirement running round after other people. Tell them you are finding it more exhausting than being at work and that if this carries on it will affect your health.

How has all this come about? Did these people expect you to help them out when you retired without discussing it first with you. Too many people make assumptions on other people"s time and energy. You really need to be more assertive and decide if and what you are prepared to do or not.
If you carry on doing it, it will be much harder to stop. Doing a favour now and then is one thing....being taken for granted at everyone"s beck and call is something else again.

As others have said, they managed before you retired so they can manage now. It’s nice to help when you can but you must learn to say ‘no’ and enjoy time for yourself.

Yes! Get your husband off couch and do the running around. Lazy sod! Turn your phone off or screen calls. Do not be at others’ beck and call. They are taking you for granted. Time to woman up! Do what you want to do to help out, but no more. Then do the rest for yourself. You’ve worked, raised kids. It’s their turn to do it.

You are me! Childmind DGS , look after 93 mothet, am tun more ragged now than when at work, and sm not alone, most friends in say situ.

Yes! Get your husband off couch and do the running around. Lazy sod!

Why?
Just because the OP has over committed herself doesnt mean she gets to commit him too!!

I also wonder how your family/friends managed before you retired from work,who did the running about and caring then ?
My family don't ask for help at all as they know their father and I will refuse (except emergencies) they respect the fact that we have both always worked when they where younger and did not expect help from anyone we worked it out for ourselves.

have you not heard of the word NO.. have children at weekends only... the rest of the time is yours. what did they do before you retired? speak to social services about carers..or tell people you need paying........dont give in ,they using you for free...