Baby grandchild moving overseas

Thank you Sodapop for your firm but kind advice. You are right, I am being rather negative. I guess my feelings towards my DIL are making this feel much worse than it is. She doesn’t have ANY family, apart from this stepmother who I know she wants to be close to. My husband and myself are our grandsons only ‘blood’ family and to be absolutely honest, I have always felt we are at the top of the list when it comes to important people in our GS life. I know it’s wrong to think that but I do. Thank you again very much - I did need to hear your words

This must be hard to adapt to - but you will.

I am sorry that your relationship with your DIL is not good - but I am sure they are moving for what they see as a better life for their family, rather than an act of aggression towards you.

If you are to maintain contact it would be good to try and mend your relationship with DIL as far as you are able, as the continued contact from abroad requires co-operation on both sides.

I understand you feel unhappy Emm14 but you have not 'lost' your grandson he is simply moving away with his family where they feel they can have a better life,
There seem to be a lot of negative feelings in your post mainly around your daughter in law and her family. You enjoyed the first year of his life and can continue to be part of his life albeit in a different way. There are many ways of keeping contact now so look at how you can do this. Nobody will take your place, your grandson has two grandmothers who love him, that can only be a good thing.
I know how you feel as my family also emigrated when my granddaughter was a baby and my grandson was born in USA. Try to lok at things in a more positive light

So very sorry for you this is a big blow and the truth is there is no easy way Emm to get through it but bearing grudges and feeling bad thoughts towards the in laws isn’t the way forward
We have to totally accept that these precious grandkids are not ours and may move all over the world please don’t take this as critism but saying you can’t bear the thought of the other grandmother having contact is only going to make you feel a whole lot worse You have had the first twelve months with your grandson while they haven’t
The only thing that will help is time this is a bereavement although thankfully no one has lost their life This time and the first months are going to be the worst but as time goes by you will use whatever you can to keep contact and you will I m sure be able to visit The relationship with that little chap won’t be as close it can’t be but it’s up to you to do all you can to keep it alive and negative thoughts towards your daughter in law and her parents is only going to harm you
I don’t know what else to say I m sure others will have positive ideas for you
My first grandchild was born in NZ and I did not have the opportunity to see her until she was about 10 months old in many ways I think it’s harder for you because you already have the contact but that first twelve months was so precious and can never be taken away from you
I hope you can come to terms with this awful blow