Great grandson terrified of flying.

If you do fly, let the crew know asap, it is also worth asking at the gate. Pilots are usually happy to have a chat and show kids the flight deck if it will help. It is often the case that kids have watched a scary plane video or heard something on the news. It is worth desensitiing by having some fun days out at smaller airports and maybe spotting different planes or airlines. Or visit a small local airfield.

Ooh crafty cat how did you do that? I hate spiders and it's that time of year again when the blighters are coming indoors.

Children aren't all resilient jaclovesdogs if this poor child has a horrible journey out he will have the nightmare of the the flight home hanging over him for the whole holiday. Why is it so important that he should be taken abroad?

Children are resilient, therefore I would book the Holiday and even though he may be uptight at first he will soon calm down. Try to encourage him to play a few games to take his mind off if the plane taking off.

There are many talking therapies to cure phobias which work really well for children.
It's worth looking into.
I was cured of fear of spiders in one 20 min session.

Mine used to love visiting a regional airport when we were stay with friends. Watching the planes taking off and landing. If they have one, maybe try that a few times. Treat after at a restaurant. Then if you could find a cheap domestic day return flight where it doesn’t matter if he decides he doesn’t want to get on, for just him and a parent, that may be a better next step than booking a full blown holiday with lots of pressure on everyone. Travelling from airports is mega stressful these days. His first experiences need to be relaxed and calm. Are their any good children’s books that feature aeroplanes?

We never travelled abroad with our children (couldn't afford it) they didn't leave the country till they were in their late teens. They have both travelled extensively since and are none the worse for it. I'm sure the poor child will be perfectly happy having holidays here without the nightmare,of flying hanging over him.

My elder DD was always really scared of flying and would grip my hand and cry for most of the flight when she was little. She ended up being a great traveller, visiting countries all over the world, often on her own ( now curbed due to becoming a mum!)
Not much help I know to the OP’s dilemma but I would say it might take time to overcome his fears.

Blinko, I’ll research EFT, thank you.

Bijou, all he will say is that it’s ‘too high’. We’ve shown him old photos of his mum on planes with us in the past but no go.

I would find out what troubles him about flying, rather his parents should, if you can't calm him down I wouldn't make him go against his will, he will have a real phobia if they did that. It is wrong to just dismiss their concerns because they are a child, in a few years time when he sees friends and family flying off, he might decide to try it, if not there's other ways. If he was my grandchild, I would stay with him and have lovely days out or take him to the seaside by train, the rest of the family can have their holiday and everyone happy, couldn't see him upset.

Perhaps he could have a go in a flying simulator to experience things in a safe environment first. It might well help assist to allay his fears. To be honest, the fear of the unknown is far worse than the reality so if there is a way of getting through this, it would be much better for him in the long run. He may not be a traveller but facing your fears is something he may have to do as an adult so it would be a good learning curve if it can be done in a sympathetic way.

It is not that unusual for a child to feel frightened to fly. I have worked and used Hypnosis and NLP combined on adults but only a few children.
Once children learn all about how the plane is built, fly and how safe it really is they can come around.
When I work with children who are afraid to fly we focus on every aspect of flying and the noise. Yes I do relax them and teach them to use NLP to see, feel and actually look forward to the plane journey.
Fear is all in the mind really and children are logical are accept facts more easily than Adults. They also like fun so we make fun in Hypnosis and NLP
Joseph. Child Psychotherapist.
07709511913

If it is,Spain that is not too difficult by boat & train. Ferry to Santader then train or across to France and train to Spain.

Don't book it. It would be psychologically damaging to drag him onto an aeroplane

Why is he scared of Flying. It is much safer than driving these days with all these great transport vehicles taking up the roads.
I have no fear of flying and used to go at least four times a year but I don’t like boats! Even ferry crossings were at least two brandies!

A friend was afraid of any kind of transportation where she wasn't driving. She was totally unable to travel as a passenger to the point where husband and son would holiday without her. She has found that EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) helps her conquer her fears. She is now able to control her fears and can travel by sea or air. The change in her is amazing.

They do EFT for Children. You can google it. It may help the little chap. Good luck.

A family cruise would be beyond our budgets I’m sad to say but thank you for the suggestion which I know is a good one. I enjoy cruises.

I’d hoped that other people might have experienced the same thing with children or grandchildren but it seems not. We’ve no intention of forcing the child to fly or of causing him undue stress by continuing to mention it but it’s a problem that’s new to us. Before this, children and grandchildren have been very happy to fly and been excited by their first flight (if they’ve been old enough to realise that something new was happening) even if a little nervous at take off with some hand holding required.

GGS made me laugh the other day when he and his sister were out in the car with me and, waiting at a busy junction, I said something along the lines of ‘where on Earth are all these cars coming from?’ and he smartly replied ‘they’re coming from Spain. They’re people who don’t like flying’. ?

Go on a cruise they are fabulous for inter generational holidays

I think you should tell your daughter, his GM, that you're not willing to do this. The child is terrified and the poor little thing is even plotting a driving route as an alternative!

He's obviously worrying and the kindest thing would be for his parents to make it clear that there will be no flying until it's something he wants to do.

Do you live anywhere near an airport so you could go and watch the planes? Sometimes that helps. Also some airlines do a familiarisation for those anti flying. May be worth looking into.

If you really could drive.. then you could probably do a boat/ train option. You don't say where you are potentially going ( sorry if I have missed that info.) so it might be totally out of the question! Meanwhile do see if you can find away of supporting DGGS through his fear via the links others have provided.

This might help? flyfright.com/childrenairplane/
I do think it is important to discuss which bit of the flight is causing the problem, it is fear of the complete unknown, and you can at least try to deal with that.

Take him to an air museum where you can go inside the planes, sit in them and put on a seat belt. Use YouTube videos to familiarise him with exactly what happens going through an airport, take off, inflight meals, landing etc. that might help to identify if there is a specific problem, or if it is just the thought of leaving the ground?

has anyone asked him why he is frightened of flying? He is certainly old enough to have the conversation.

I certainly wouldn't be booking any flights for him. My sister is 76 and she has never flown in her life due to an extreme fear of flying - the idea that she or anyone else should be "encouraged" to fly , just isn't going to happen. You could easily end up with a ruined holiday because of this - go somewhere where you can drive or go by boat, and eveyone will have a good time.

Thank you for all your comments which pretty much echo my own thoughts.

He already comes on holiday with us in the UK and we have a very close relationship with him and the rest of his family. It’s only the mode of travel which is the problem and we know he’d love it once there because he so enjoys spending time with his uncle who’s only a few years older than him. The idea of taking him on the holiday abroad was for his enjoyment rather than the gratification of we adults.

His parents are low income, have two other younger children and are most unlikely to be able to afford a holiday abroad in the forseeable future.

He wants to come on the holiday and has even plotted a route on google earth to show me that I could ‘easily’ drive there!

I don’t think I can risk making any firm plans which include him and will probably drop the subject completely in front of him for a few months and then just gently test the waters again and see if we get the same reaction.

Thank you all.