Mental health

Thank you for your kindness and understanding Annie.
You have lovely granddaughters.

Just remember we are all in this together megan , we so understand x

I have come late to this thread, but I express my sympathies to all who are affected . My sister became ill when she was about 15, and I know the toll it took on my parents’ lives over many years. The relief when she was finally taken into a suitable Home was evident, as they had given so much of themselves to support her through her difficult times. They only ever came to me once for Christmas, ie once she was in the Home, as they had always been there for my sister in previous years. They were uttterly worn out.

Our parents are no longer here. Now she is very ill again and back in hospital. A couple of years ago she finally had to come off the one drug that worked for her as it was affecting her immune system. They will try other drugs to get her stable but they only have minimal effect. Her children have come through their difficult childhood and have their own lovely families.
Mental illnesss affects so many of us, and the provision nowadays is abysmal.

Hey ladies, how is everyone doing? megan you're having a difficult time. I do feel for you.
annie you and I have been through such a similar experience, although my DS didn't have children, he was younger than your Catherine. My DD who has recently had the new diagnosis has a little one who is himself going through the process of a possible autism diagnosis, so I have no choice but to be very involved.
My love never wavers, but my strength, energy and patience definitely dip often.
Wishing everyone the very best

My granddaughter has been assessed by the crisis team and admitted to hospital We were told that the staff knew it to be inevitable that she would have a complete breakdown but there was not the funding to intervene before it happened. I'm feeling near the end of my strength, my husband died 2 weeks ago and my life is a nightmare.

notoveryet you are in a nightmare, so much grief and worry added to it. Please ,please take care of yourself, basics ,eating , sleeping when you can, and cry if you want to, or rage, releases stifled emotions,

grandmainOz I am so sorry, yes you have to be involved, your child and grandchild .

Everyone keep sharing, we can all listen and understand x

Not over yet my heart goes out to you. My teenage Dgd is struggling with anxiety problems and is getting professional help. Dd is doing her best to cope with the situation but she is also now showing signs of stress and has had a major fallout with my Ds. This has now escalated between my Ds and myself. I am just trying to support Dd as best I can as she is getting a lot of abuse from ex sil but this is upsetting Ds who believes that I should be paying more attention to him and his family. As has been said before on here, this is splitting our family apart and I cannot see an end to it. Thank you all for being there.

I've wanted to contribute to this thread for a while but every time I tried I ended up in tears. I'm feeling stronger today so here goes.
My daughter had MH problems all through her teenage years until she took her own life aged 24. She saw counsellors, doctors and a psychologist for her anxiety and depression but didn't get a proper diagnosis until a couple of months before she died. I feel so sad that all these professionals did not help her.
If we'd had a diagnosis earlier I might have been able to talk to people instead of bottling it up. My DH was less than useless and I felt very much alone, unsupported and helpless. There were times of hope and times of utter despair with no-one to turn to. Pity GN wasn't around then.
I've had a lot of counselling over the last few years and now I can see the whole picture and have stopped blaming myself so much.
Thanks for listening. to all who are suffering.

"kathsue* My brother did the same thing many years ago. He was also 24. There was no help then.

I've one with bipolar - So I can relate to the unfiltered outbursts that arise while they are working through issues - And, yes, it can be difficult to endure- But it's not who they are as a person, it's a result of what they are going through- I listen until what's being said is BS- Not that what they feel is BS but when what's being said isn't true - Then I firm up -- and if it continues I bow out of the discussion altogether or exhaust them with the truth- As far as the other issue is concerned, I think everyone has some fear when it comes to losing loved ones - Sometimes no amount of kindness will save a life-

My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a loved one to mental illness- Its so sudden and unexpected, a numbing life altering loss -

Someone I knew recently took their life ..

I never found it possible to exhaust my elder daughter when she was on a high, rosecarmel

I can fully understand what you say Annie neither can I, its impossible. I just soldier on, have a dreadfully worrying night, and then feel exhausted myself. Then as happened yesterday, another phone call, just as bad as the last one, but about different issues, it never ends.

megan another phone call? I so understand, the need to switch the phone off but the fear if you do, so the phone stays on and the calls can come any time, day or night, or text.

Annie more phone calls. Relentlessly going over things that I have heard millions of times. In the other unit they did take the phone into the office during night time but she is in this new unit now. I feel I could switch the phone off, but like you say I fear if I do. I have sent you a PM.

I'm going to be allowed to see my granddaughter this afternoon. I understand the phone thing so well and found that switching it off didn't really bring respite because the worry stayed with me. The unit she is in keeps phones locked in a cupboard so they can monitor how they are being used. Please think of me, I'm still so emotional over the loss of my husband and desperately trying to stay strong for my granddaughter. It helps to be able to share feelings on gransnet.

notoveryet I had just this minute thought about you, and was coming on to say how sorry I am to hear about your loss and the added worry too of your granddaughter.

I am glad you are going to visit her today, underneath all of this, she is still your beloved granddaughter. Stay strong for her and look after yourself also, I know how very hard it is.

Take good care

kathsue just read your message about your beloved daughter, I am so very sorry. I understand what you say about the diagnosis, it takes years for this to happen, years when she could have been treated

Thank you megan. If she had had a physical illness she would have had proper treatment and not been fobbed off with "teenage mood swings" and "pull yourself together".

kathsue megan notoveryet my heart goes out to you all.
notoveryet I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. You must be reeling. What a terrible time for you.
And kathsue I know what you've gone through and empathise deeply. My son was 20

Saw granddaughter yesterday, my heart has broken a little more. I wish I had the faith that I know some of you have, I feel so very alone. I'm trying to stay strong for the rest of the family who have to concentrate on my granddaughter, I'm so grateful to be able to share some feelings here.

notoveryet My heart goes out to you, I know how hard it is for you to see your granddaughter in hospital. I remember the first time I went to see my daughter and walking down the corridor I felt as if the floor was moving underneath me.

It will get better, your granddaughter will be sedated at the moment, and what I tell myself repeatedly is that my daughter is safe, and you must tell yourself that too. Your granddaughter is in the right place, she will get treatment and you will see an improvement.

Sending you (((hugs))) Take care.

kathsue I am so sorry, my elder daughter was told ‘try relaxing with a glass of wine’ when she first asked for help.

notoveryet please hold the thought your granddaughter is in a safe place and being helped

megan . X

notoveryet don't lose hope.