I have never thought of this...

Decluttering is cathartic! Before I started my clear out a couple of weeks ago I made a couple of rules:
If I didn't love it and enjoy using it or looking at it; it had to go.
If I hadn't used it or worn for 2 years; it had to go.
If I was struggling to find space to store it; it had to go.
I've got rid of so many kitchen gadgets, craft equipment, clothes and shoes that no longer fit or I just stopped wearing, ornaments and knick knacks that I had no feeling or memory attachment to. Once I got stuck in, it was hard to stop! And I can now open doors and cupboards without the contents falling out.

Situpstraight thank you for your response.
If you have been in a similar position to me, then you will understand what is like trying to ensure that a close family member lives in a safe environment. This is a someone who eventually lived, slept and ate in one room, because she wanted all her personal things about her. The thing is, to my mother, everything was personal to her, whether it was an old newspaper, an ornament or a piece of clothing.
I certainly didn't badger my mother, nor was I cruel, trying to persuade her to declutter.
Oh and yes she was mentally ill, but could put on a good face for the health professionals. It wasn't until she became an inpatient, that everyone realised the extent of her mental health problems.
As I said previously, if I had been more firm with her about clearing out some of her "stuff", she wouldn't have fallen and broken her hip, tripping over the accumulated items and die within months of her fall.
However, whenever I did try to be firmer, she would hit me with her walking stick. Damned if I did and damned if I didn't.
That is why I will never leave my children to declutter my home. I will make everything as easy as possible for them.

I need to de-clutter but am struggling to begin while I'm still working. My plan is to do it when I retire - just over two years away - then I'll downsize from my 4 bed house to a smaller property that should be easier to keep on top of. Meanwhile I try to nibble away at it but it is far too huge a task. Obviously it isn't helped by having lots of stuff belonging to my grown up kids neither of whom have space to take it away yet - not to mention all the stuff which my ex left behind when we divorced. I can't get into the loft so will need help with that - I dread to think what might be up there although I know some of what is there. Makes me tired thinking about it!

We downsized a few years ago, got rid of a load of clutter then. I declutter every few months before it builds up again, don't want the children left with a monumental task in the future to offload our "junk".

Marydoll you’ve actually made my point for me , again.
The difference between you and your DM is that you have the choice to hoard or not.
Your DM because of her mental condition did not have the choice and no amount of you talking to her would have made any difference.

In the OP the daughter was arguing with her mother who, like your mother seems to be a hoarder, I have seen people in a very distressed state because the things in their homes, which to us is rubbish and a health hazard, seems to hold special meanings for them, even though they probably only bought it yesterday in a Charity shop.

You tried to be firm, as you know it doesn’t work.

And please don’t assume that because I haven’t spilled my life story on a social network forum that I haven’t been in the same position as you.

Situpstraight I think we just need to agree that we have different view points and leave it at that.
I will not be posting about this subject again.
My view of GN is that most posters are kind, friendly and supportive.
However, it was your use of the words "ashamed" and "cruel", which upset me. To me they seemed harsh. That is my perception and of course you are free to give your opinion, just as every one else is entitled to on GN. The world would be a very boring place if we all had the same opinions.
I could be mistaken, but I haven't seen you on GN until very recently, if that is so, then welcome. I look forward to reading more your posts in the future.

Marydoll, you have a big heart and I'm so sorry to hear about what happened to your mum. As you say, damned if you do and damned if you don't. No two people's circumstances are exactly alike, which is why most of us on here strive to be kind and to support one another, as you say.

Sadly I have a couple of relatives who are hoarders and I physically cannot visit them as it is too dangerous. How they survive I really do not know but I cannot tàke on the worry about it as it would be pointless. One of them lives in a flat and the neighbours have tried all manner of ways to get the hoard moved as they are understandably frightened because of the fire risk. I know how bad it is because the last time I tried to visit I couldn't physically get inside and so nowadays we meet at a restaurant or hotel.
I don't think the other one is quite as bad but I have not been allowed to visit for the last 7 or 8 years so I am not sure. Not banned but gently prevented by very ingenious methods! The odd thing is that I am the executor so will perhaps have to deal with it eventually. Just in case I 'pop my clogs' first I have taken out a whole of life insurance policy on that relative's life with full consent so that all the costs will be covered. If not needed for that (some hope!) then the instructions to my D.C. are to get together and have a fantastic family holiday on the proceeds.
It is a concern when family hoard but most often there is absolutely nothing you can do until they can handle it themselves. I have never been critical of either of them but they prefer that I don't attempt to visit so I don't. I expect that I probably visibly twitch even though I try not to.