But MIL was not in delivery room so HOW

I wish I had been there to hold my first DGC when DD was rushed off to theatre for two hours afterwards - SIL was left holding the baby and petrified.

I agree with you nelliemoser.
We didn't use to be quite so precious and have to have the ideal experience.
In my opinion the more people who love your baby the better.
Funny how most of us managed to bond with our babies, no skin on skin etc. My DD2 was in an incubator for 3 weeks. Half the world handled her before me, thank goodness she was cared for.
The DIL's MIL is a dr. If I had a Dr as part of my family batting on my side I would deem myself fortunate.
They must have had a very bad relationship.

Well said Stitcheroo, conjured up an amusing vision in my head??

I am still -shaking my head at all this! I suppose it all boils down to what relationship you have with your mother t.b.h and I include MIL in this.

The ones who disagree with all 'the fuss' obviously have fabulous relationships with their children. They know that any actions would have been in the best possible interest of the baby.

Personally, IF my MIL had been a doctor and my baby was rushed to intensive care, I would pray she would go and see he was o.k. No amount of doctors/nurses would placate me as much as the grandma.

IF I had been annoyed at it I would have told my MIL but not made it public knowledge in any way as presumably MIL WILL be around a lot longer than the doctors and nurses in the child's life?

Obviously this is not the case here and as we don't know ALL the facts, its hard to judge other than in a personal way.

This thread now on FB

It really is very very silly to say that a doctor or nurse holding your baby first means that you shouldn’t mind your MIL also doing this,

You acknowledge that childbirth is a dangerous, unpredictable, undignified and messy business but then call women going through it 'precious'? Isn't that a bit of a contradiction? Surely if childbirth had the potential to be so risky and traumatic then we should be even more careful to support the women going through it and respect their wishes.

If a man was going through surgery on his genitals that was considered dangerous and undignified would it be okay if his MIL decided to let herself into the recovery area against his wishes and be privy to his private medical history? Or is it only the presence of a baby that erodes the patient's rights?

The doctor in question should not have done what she did.

BUT how how flipping precious can someone be about who holds the baby first. Be thankful the child is healthy.
I had two C sections. The first was late at night and the second as a planned C section on a morning I ended up with two GAs and did not see my babies right away.
Doctors and nurses held my babies before I did.

Some of these mums sound far too precious to me. Childbirth is fraught with dangers and there are still emergency situations which could not have been forseen.

I would suggest that a lot of young mothers are now encouraged to plan their ideal birth. I suspect a number of them are far too full of fancy ideas about how they want their baby to be born etc and if the delivery does not go to plan then it is likely the higher expectations they have of an ideal image of childbirth, the more upset they will be if it does not work out .
They seem to want to deliver a baby and come out looking as if they are models waiting to go onto the catwalk.
Childbirth is a very messy business and horribly undignified.
Childbirth is still a dangerous and unpredictable business. all new mothers should be looking for is a healthy mother and baby at the end of it .

Well said Stitcheroo.

He didn't ask his mother to be there, he rang up to update her and vent a bit. If she was an invited visitor she wouldn't have needed to use her pass to access a restricted area. The mother, who is the patient, has the right to say who is going to be near her in the immediate aftermath of giving birth when she is in pain, bleeding and vulnerable.

As a result of the MIL's actions she also overheard very private and sensitive medical information that has caused the DIL considerable distress. I'm shocked at how many posters on here seem to think that is just fine. Apparently if someone gives birth to your grandchild they become incubators and lose the right to privacy, medical confidentiality and any consideration of their wishes at all.

Can anyone here tell me how to edit a post after you publish? Sometimes I want to add something or correct a typo or a spelling error and can't do it. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Re: My previous post I wanted to add that I disagree with the news report when they said that MIL 'sneaked' in. I find that highly misleading and inflammatory.

It was her own son (baby's father) who asked her to be there. As a physician, she has privileges which would include access to the operating theater. He would have been (understandably) worried sick about his wife and baby. Who better to trust and ask for, than his own mother, who also happens to be a doctor?

With an emergency C section, there is a lot of risk to both mother and baby. They may each need attention at the same time and baby usually passes through several sets of hands before mum gets a chance to see it, let alone hold it. If the baby is in real distress it may even be whisked away to a NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) before anyone in the family gets to see or hold it.

If MIL is a doctor, what better place for her to be than right there with her DIL and her grandchild during the birth. What grandmother would refuse holding her grandchild, given the chance?

I don't see the problem here except DIL stirring the pot by giving her MIL a lot of grief over this non issue! I'm surprised this is even a news story.

Maternity units do seem to be kinder places these days skweek1

DD1 was a CS (at the time performed under general anaesthetic) and I didn't see her till the next day. She was taken to Special Care and I was told "Did we tell you you had a daughter?" My heart sank at the past tense, and I asked "Is she all right?" "Yes", said the nurse, walking away. I was certain that she had died and it wasn't until my husband arrived some 3 or 4 hours later that he told me she was in SC and was fine. I was not impressed as I'd worried unnecessarily for hours.

Now that IS Chinese Whispers bluegal!!

Bit harsh Norah ! - I agree with Bluebell!

I was the first to hold 4 of my granchildren - had no choice, baby was just thrust at me by overworked staff and the last one I was asked to dress while mummy was stitched up! I never even thought anyone would object as I certainly wouldn't have objected if my MIL or DM had been able to go check on my baby if they were elsewhere.

I guess I don't really 'get' how this has escalated and (am I right) Grandma has lost her job? Wow! how do you ever recover as a family from that?

Sad start to what should be the happiest event in everyone's lives. I don't agree they should cut MIL out forever.......but then, she may not want to be involved after all this anyway? Who knows?

Identifying by her MIL, perchance? Now why wouldn't she want that?

Yes, I'm being wicked.

Identifying.
this stupid phone

No I read the original post on mumsnet. There was pages and pages. It was only deleted as the OP thought it was too identify.

Sorry violetfloss!
BTW how do we know the father wasn’t there anyway?
Too many gaps being filled in by overactive imaginations.

After a traumatic birth that ended in emergency caesarean section, the woman’s husband – understandably shaken - called his mum for support

violetgloss you seem to know more about this than the original article? May I ask if you are privy to the details and could fill us in or are you just guessing and extrapolating like many other posters?

I agree with the Mother. MIL has abused her position, if Mother reports her she could lose her job.

Trisher: both my daughter and daughter in law asked me to attend the birth and help them, so I think I know both of their true feelings. We all have a very open relationship and able to discuss good and bad things so it truly is not an issue here.

But where was the father?
The farther wasn't with his mom, he had no idea she was even there. He didn't ask her to come. She made her way from home, brought her card key and intended to enter the ward. If she was invited by her son she wouldn't of needed her card key.

If she wanted to support her son, she should of been supporting her son but she wasn't. Her son didn't know she was there.

New moms are entitled and precious? And? They have just given birth, they have absolutely every right to be.

The person who should of been comforting the baby should of been the dad. Not the MIL who wasn't invited.

There are absolutely horror stories of DILs/MILs and this is why! This wasn't 6 months down the line the new mom was still in surgery.