How can I make my daughter lose weight?

I watched an interesting program about Gastric bypass rather than banding and the effects it had on chemicals on the brain and hormones . I expect the band didn't cut her desire for food or appetite. I think it needs a lot of will power and desire to overcome.

Oh dear worriednan, of course you are worried, what does her Doctor say, she needs help of course, if it is a health issue which it will be in the end , has anyone suggested a Gastric by pass? I hope she realises she needs help, and gets it soon.

Go with her, and and treat her to a Paul Mcckenna show or buy her the book and cd it is soooooo easy and fun especially if you use the 90 day plan I lost two stone , eating anything I wanted, however, if she is happy the way she is she does not have an incentive there is nothing you can do, she needs to do it, good luck

As others have said, it's up to her. If she feels pressure from people to lose the weight it can have the opposite effect, diminishing her self-esteem and lead to eating on the sly and bingeing (I know from personal experience).
What you can do though is to ensure you have lots of healthy food available when she visits, and try to limit the 'bad' food for want of a better word, around.
My mum used to worry about my weight while having lots of 'treats' around when I visited.

You can't. I doubt she's happy about it, nobody enjoys being fat, but she may have decided that she will live with it because the alternative would make her more miserable. Being judgmental about her weight is only going to make the both of you unhappy so let her live her life as she sees fit and just be there for if she decides to make the changes. I have a daughter who is just going to undergo bariatric surgery and I had hoped that she would take a less invasive route but for many issues with weight are a life time battle which many choose not to engage with. It is their choice.

Worriednan I so empathise. My son is 42 and each time I see him (most weeks) he seems a bit bigger. I'm not sure why he is so huge, partly working nights, binge drinking on days off - portion size is the main culprit I suspect. We have discussed his weight from time to time but I don't feel able to keep on about it. I worry about his health too so I know where you are coming from but sadly have no answers. Someone who is very overweight has to take the responsibility for his/her own life/lifestyle I'm afraid.

I was very obese and my mum made it clear she didn't like it. It made me worse! I did lose once I got my head round it. But it was because I wanted it.
My daughter struggled with post baby weight and really wanted to lose it but it wasn't successful so I gave her a gift of cash for several months slimming class of her choice but I made sure she knew I was supporting her not criticising. But if she is morbidly obese that must be so worrying.

I think it is interesting that the gastric band was removed at her request because she didn't like the "restriction" - presumably the restriction on what she could eat. She obviously enjoys her food sufficiently to undergo a further surgery so that she can eat what she likes. I keep coming back to the thought that she is happy - hang on to that I guess.

You can't... Encourage her efforts by all means,and don't put temptation in her way, but the only person who has any real control over her diet is herself..

If she is happy both on herself andin her marriage I should be profoundly grateful and leave well alone.
To make an issue of it could so easily have reverse consequences, drive a wedge between you and undermine the confidence she clearly has in herself (job, friends)
"Morbidly obese" is one of those terrifying descriptions, but as long as her health is good and her weight does not stop her doing what she wants to do, it is unhelpful.
Maybe family sporting/exercise based activities might inspire her, aerobics and Zumba can be a laugh especially with friends and good exercise, or maybe a puppy for the children that she will end up walking?
Do not get hung up on weight. There are worse things to worry about.

There is nothing you can do about your daughter's eating habits unless she really wants help and acknowledges her problem. Does she have a group of friends whose weight is normal (whatever that means)? Sad to say, a best friend could be more influential than a mother.

As has been said you can't make anyone lose weight. However what about a different approach? There was a woman on TV who has written a book called "Big Fit Girl", she says abandon diets but start to exercise. maybe this is the way for your daughter, you could buy her the book and maybe join her in exercising? The woman was big and curvy but looked very fit. She has a health check every year to ensure she is in good health.

She had the band removed because she didn't like the restriction
I am sure there are underlying issues regarding the compulsion but it's very hard when she is happy and popular and generally content - she jokes about her weight but not in a way that makes anyone think it actually troubles her. And yes, until it does, there probably is nothing we can do to help. But she is such a wonderful person it is breaking my heart to think her life is at risk when she is so loved by so many

CBT may be an option if your daughter is up for it. As Teetime says it's up to her to make the decision you can only be supportive. Sounds like it's a long standing problem that needs professional help. We never stop worrying about our children do we.

You can't.

You can't MAKE anyone lose weight, that is a sad truth.

Much as you worry for her, and as her Mum that's only right, only she can resolve this issue. And she may not want to.

Personally, the more someone focussed on my weight issues the more I would push back. I don't find it supportive to have others point out the challenges for me, or suggest I take a low fat option at dinner etc.

I think you have to be there for her if she asks but otherwise as a grown woman , she has to decide if the issues you point out are her priority or not.

Why did she have the gastric band removed? Do you talk about the problem together? It is very hard for you, but I guess at 45 she has to make her own choices. I am glad she is happy though; that counts for a great deal.

Oh dear I can hear how worried you are but really as you probably realise its all down to her. If she doesn't want to do it she wont. You could encourage her gently perhaps by going to a slimming group yourself (although you may not need it) and see if she wants to go with you (if she lives nearby) and offer an incentive like a trip to a spa or something together. I feel for you as I worry about my daughter but everything I tried didn't work until she was ready to do it for herself. Best wishes - hopeless to say try not to worry isn't it.

You say compulsion... Perhaps CBT?