Could/should I have said/done more?

Crikey, you lot! Enough already! You're like vultures squabbling over a carcass! Note to self, never start a thread on Gransnet if you want to come out alive.

Or are you all perfect?

Oh yes, and I can think of times when I wasn't "vigilant" enough. Can't everyone?

Seriously.

Newquay you could not have done more, and what you did was exactly right. Children (especially under 4 or 5) in a busy play area should be watched vigilantly whether they are happy or crying. Surely there was a sign up to say this?

I think what saak has been trying to say is that there was nothing wrong with what the OP did but that there might (okay, is) something wrong with the judgmentalism that followed.

Saak could be right. She could be wrong. OP's judgments about the situation could be right, could be wrong. There's actually no way of knowing. All is speculation. Some people like speculating about such things a lot. Some don't.

I'm tending to think of all those times one of my kids was crying somewhere public as if their heart was breaking and there was bugger all I could do about it because they were just tired or being toerags. I was/am a good mother so other people would have been totally in the wrong to judge me otherwise and yet it would have been so easy.

OP does not say that the child "was starting to be sick". She said she thought he might make himself sick. Not the same thing at all.

Just saying. And sticking to the facts story as told.

Blimey stillaliveandkicking is that all women that are passive aggressive? Or just the ones that are suppressed? Or is it only the ones that are passive aggressive that are suppressed? Sweeping generalisations not to mention blatant sexism
And from someone who doesn't agree with being judgmental (you really do want to provoke an argument don't you?)

I would have felt the same as you Newquay and been concerned for the child. I also don't think you made any assumptions, I think you reacted perfectly normally. Some people on here need to get over themselves and stop being so aggressive, all you did was start a discussion about a situation you had witnessed. I have said it before, but it was people 'minding their own business' which led to those heart wrenching scenes of Jamie Bulger being led through the shopping centre, led through the streets, and nobody asking what was wrong with a little boy who was crying. You carry on as you are Newquay, you are not at fault here.

The situation that you describe Newquay sounds exactly the sort of place where children can get accidentally hurt whilst playing and, as you say, parents and guardians need to be vigilant all the time. You described the child as having been crying on his own for 10 minutes, to such a degree that he was starting to be sick. I think that's a long time for a little one to left like that. It would be interesting to know what the relationship was between the child and the woman. In the same situation, I would have done as you did and then I'd have worried afterwards whether I'd done enough. I'd rather be considered "judgemental" than just look the other way and console myself with it "not being my business ".

Sounds like you have the right idea about childcare to me Newquay and don't worry about anyone elses reactions to your post.I's your own that matters.

Goodness never expected such reactions! Said DGD goes to a nursery 4 days a week and recently nursery has changed hands and there has been lots of staff changeover. One day last week when DD collected her, DGD was sobbing, no staff knew why and, of course, DGD couldn't say why either. DD is paying (a huge amount) for DGD to be cared for and expects her to be well looked after. I don't think it's possible to over manage under fives-they should not be out of your vision for more than a very short time imho. So I was very concerned that this young child was unsupervised for, I thought, too long a time whether she was with a paid carer or not. If the adult needed the toilet, she should have asked another adult to keep an eye open.
Children can choke very quickly and time is of the essence and should not be left to eat alone-this is not the dog being fed! I was not being judgmental; I was very concerned for this child's safety/well being and genuinely did not know what to do-as did the other Gran who joined me. I was not being judgmental, just concerned and genuinely didn't know what/if I could have done more. We are Grandparents to 5 and have been entrusted with their care under all sorts of circumstances cos our DDs know we will not take our eyes off them and they are completely safe/happy with us.

Children under 4 playing on their own in a soft play type place need to be watched vigilantly. Unfortunately, I've witnessed several minders who use soft play as an excuse to completely zone out and play on a phone or chat to pals.
I wouldn't normally notice what anyone else is doing but when a child is sat alone and sobbing or being walloped by another child, you tend to notice when an adult doesn't intervene within an acceptable time frame.

why women are so passive aggressive I hope is due to being suppressed.

Lets agree to disagree chew, its late and i can't really be bothered. You did however start to get personal and mock me along with norose which is a shitty thing to do. I also have no idea what you meant about ignoring a thread? I post what and when i want to. I only retaliate to people that become nasty. Please refrain from ever doing this to me again.

Posts not pets obviously.

No pets have been personal stillalive , like you, I have stated my opinions just as strongly as you have. I disagree with your perception of the potential of ignoring a child crying for 10 minutes. You feel that this is so inconsequential that it was unworthy of starting a thread. Some don't agree with you. Some might. I think that "ask a gran" is for general topics where posters can ask for an opinion on something that they've seen, heard, witnessed or experienced, as in this case. It is no less worthy of starting a discussion on than any other subject. We all have the free will to ignore a thread if we feel it unworthy of discussion. I felt it was worthy because child welfare is important to me. You have stated that you feel the op has made several sweeping judgements in her op. I disagree.

We all have opinions and I have said that the OP made ridiculous assumptions, which she did. However norose and chewbacker are becoming personal.

Facts
The child cried for a bit in a play area which happens a lot for an un proven time
The child was then taken away by a person
The child was sitting with peers eating lunch

Assumptions
The person caring for the child was an inadequate carer whoever they may be
Sitting away from adults on a table of four must be awful for some reason
The child must be miserable
The child can't speak
The child is being inadequately cared for

Hardly something to report

Less of the and

Do you and both mean to be so rude? Have I been rude about you? I'd not get personal if I were you.

Perhaps as well.

That good because you haven't got any

No, the OP made the massive assumption? Im not after credibility.

Wow stillalive that's a massive assumption isn't it! You have no way of knowing what the OPS opinions on childcare are! You also have no possible way of knowing whether the child was crying for 10 minutes or less, (the op, on the other hand was actually there), with or without a stopwatch ridiculous thing to say. Sorry but I really do think that you lost any credibility there.

And maybe theOP just had empathy for a distraught child.