Nervous driver

We also changed to an automatic which takes away some of the problems but like others I now worry about driving, started when I felt anxious one day with small grandchild in the back and got worse after I broke my arm and couldn't drive for months. Most friends say they let OH drive if they are going out together, I don't want to stop as in the past I always enjoyed taking myself off for days out.

We live in Cumbria which have more country roads than big main ones. I have never been diagnosed with night blindness but I call it that when it comes to driving at night. As soon as it becomes gloomy and the light is going from the day it affects my driving so much that at times I'm unable to drive from as early as 4pm some days at this time of the year. Headlights blind me as well. I was tested once are have quite bad astigmatism in my eyes so it badly ' halos ' headlights and streetlights. At age 55 it's a pain in the butt !

All these years I thought it was just me! I was encouraged to learn to drive when I was in my early 30's when we were living in Germany ( my husband was in the army) I was not a natural, finding the lessons very stressful and never managed to feel relaxed and confident behind the wheel even after passing my test. I never managed to overcome this and eventually gave up driving altogether. As my husband was a very confident and experienced driver I simply relied on him and accepted that I was not cut out to be a driver. Fast forward 10 years and my husband was involved in a very serious traffic accident (not his fault) which left him disabled and no longer able to drive. I took a refresher course and tried my hardest to overcome my phobia of driving but with limited success. The problems this causes for us now are enormous, our lives would be so much easier if I could just manage to conquer this problem. It affects so many aspects of our lives from simply getting around, attending hospital appointments etc to being a major factor in dictating where we live as we need a good local bus service. Has anyone out there managed to deal with this problem and overcome it?

I dont mind driving (learnt young as lived in the depths of the country) and do most of the driving as DH doesnt enjoy it and doesnt like 'my' car which we now share . I have had to steel myself to drive the South Circular in London though ,as DD1 lives near it and have been ferrying' stuff' down for the last 6 months . But its actually no worse than any other suburbia and is well signed .
I have a yen for an (automatic) sports car .... I'm tired of staid, sensible tanks

Since OH had second stroke and eye accident, I have to do all the driving ! I don't like driving ...especially on the autoroute where the limit is 130km p/h and most people are going faster than that ! The one thing that changed my attitude to driving was surviving cancer ...after that I thougth what the hell ! ...not suggesting you need a drastic event but it helped ! Also, I used to take my ex to Heathrow a lot but found apart from a few sections, the M25 was more like a car park at times than a motorway !!...I used to suffer from anticipation anxiety then to an extent, where I would think of the drive and worry about it ..but then once on the road I was fine !

You could also see a Cognitive Behaviour Therapist but I don't think that would be available on the NHS or the excellent ideas on here to take one of those driving courses !

I have to say I had never driven an automatic until I moved to Spain and my husband had one .....thought I would hate it, but I loved it ! makes driving so much easier ....I had to hire a manual last time I went back for a holiday and had totally forgotten how to use gears ....lots of black smoke from gear box going up hills ! luckily car hire firm at the end of season, which was local to me when I lived there, had a few dented cars returned, so I hired one of those justt in case (taking photo of dents first ,,,even though manager was a friend !) ...... don't think I would be too happy with a driverless car though ! When (ha ha) I win the lottery I'm getting a chauffeur !

As well as using the Satnav, I find it helps if I'm going to a new location to look on Google Street View - by the time I do the trip it all looks very familiar!

This is a very tricky area. It could be just lack of confidence, or it could be that you have some awareness of subtle difficulties. Either way, you could contact the Institute of Advanced Motorists. For the very reasonable sum of 49 pounds, they offer the following:
On-road Assessment
Mature Driver Assessment
Renew your confidence
Get a trusted second opinion
Sharpen your skills
Reassure your family
Undecided whether it’s still safe to drive? Get an impartial opinion and reassurance behind the wheel.
Go to: www.iamroadsmart.com, select 'Courses' then select 'Assessments and Modules'.

My car may as well be on tracks now..........I do a few set rutes and hate every moment of it but needs must.

When I worked with elderly people, what they seemed to miss most was driving, men especially. My old dad dreaded not being able to drive and said he'd rather die than live without his car.

I find I am scared of everything now it is so wearing!!!

I've always been very happy driving on lanes and small roads but lost confidence on motorways. I then changed from a manual to an automatic with a big engine and confidence returned.

A TomTom will really help, one less thing to worry about
I don't like driving much either especially at night and on motorways but have to sometimes , the more you do the easier it is.
I also take an up to date road atlas ( £1.99 from petrol station), a piece of cardboard with roads and junctions written on in thick felt pen and have got new glasses with anti glare coating
Good luck

I love driving, but find that so many other drivers are very aggressive. Also do not enjoy driving at night because headlights seem so bright. I get very angry with tailgaters; there's a lot of them about and they're usually driving Audis, Mercedes, BMWs etc. Seems to me if you stick to speed limits you're considered an old nuisance.

Why do so many of us dislike night driving? I don't need glasses and I'm not aware of my vision having changed particularly, but night time driving is definitely something I now avoid. Even if it's local, which is the most I will attempt, I don't feel happy. Rather than acuity of vision I think it's how may brain interprets what it sees - bends in the road, etc. Things that are not a problem by day take on a very different aspect at night. So no driving after about 4 at the moment unless it's a quick nip up to Waitrose or at the most into (or more likely home from) local town. Why is this?

My mum's friend learnt to drive at 80 as her husband lost his sight. I think she deserves a medal.

I have never enjoyed driving but like it less these days, especially after dark. If I have to do an unfamiliar journey which is not too far, I will do a trial run at a quiet time to give me confidence. I use a sat nav and do an AA route too - belt and braces!

Two places to look for help; 1) the Institute of Advanced Motorists run assessment courses for mature drivers
www.iamroadsmart.com/courses/mature-driver-assessment

2 The AA run courses to help those getting nervous about driving.
www.express.co.uk/news/uk/201172/I-m-finally-beating-my-driving-phobia

I have no choice as H never learn't to drive. Iv'e driven all over the country and fortunately it dosen't phase me. The sat nav is my best friend I used to be concerened for a few days before driving somewhere new unless I was going to have a navigator beside me but I'm fine now.
I don't much like driving in the dark though

We have a Honda Civic and it is the second one we have had. I would drive the first one, though I didn't care for it, but even after making all the necessary driving adjustments to accommodate me, this car simply doesn't feel as if it "fits" me, and every time I go out in it all I can think is "if anything hits me I'm going to die in this car". It doesn't make for a confident experience. I have driven bigger cars and never had a problem with them. But it is DH's car and he loves it. Before the Civics we had a Jazz. If anyone had said "can you drive me to Lands End, I would have said "Hop in, lets go"!

I still enjoy driving my little car but at the moment rarely get the chance because of the discomfort after breaking the dreaded shoulder/arm O/H has taken control of driving at the minute he does however always seem to take control of the driving I think it is a man thing really wanting to be in the driving seat so to speak.

I really don't like driving either. I am ok in daylight and familiar routes but there are so many new roundabouts and bypasses being built that even the familiar is becoming unfamiliar. Developing cataracts make night driving difficult.

I've been driving for 56 years but tonight, driving on unlit roads, I began to feel less confident than I used to feel in the dark. However, I rarely go far afield in the evening and still feel in full control in daylight. The day I don't feel confident is the day I surrender my licence.

My husband and I have shared a car for a few years now. Nearly two years ago we changed from a little runabout to a Ford Focus CMax and I hate it. It's just too big for me to drive it comfortably and I feel very stressed whenever I get behind the wheel; as a consequence I've only ever driven it half a dozen times and then only to pick my husband up from the rail station. I don't really miss driving, but do wish I could have got my bus pass when I turned 60 instead of having to wait until I'm 64!

I agree tanith due to injury I was unable to drive for a couple of months and felt stranded.

I have found that letting others do the driving all the time is not a Good Thing to Do. If there are two of you in the car then offer to do the driving more often. Having someone in the passenger side can boost your confidence and is useful navigating - even with a SatNav.

Ladies you know what they say "use it or lose it", don't lose your independence. Keep driving as long as you feel you are a safe driver.

I am less confident after a dreadful journey down the M6 a couple of years ago when there were hellish roadworks all the way down to Birmingham.

I too have lost my driving confidence especially on motorways. I paid for a driving lesson and the instructor kept getting me to drive on and off the M40 . He told me that there was nothing wrong with my driving, other than driving too slowly. He explained that lorry drivers have a maximum speed of 55 miles an hour so that when I join the motorway I must be driving at that speed and just slot in when a space was available, sometimes having to speed up and other times having to break. I wish I had been told that years ago.

Unfortunately I have been ill for the last 6 months or so and have not driven much. Anyway I have now started again and need to practise regularly.

Finally I depend on my sat nav and couldn't cope without it now.

Best of luck Morethan