Nervous driver

It's reassuring to hear that others have noticed a decrease in confidence, we have to fight this though (Winston Churchill - "never give in"). I recently acquired a sat-nav and find it really helpful. It's like having a guide in the car with you. Use it all the time and you will quickly become familiar with it and you will be proud of yourself for fighting your fears.

Use it or lose it, is a good maxim. After stopping work there may be few opportunities to drive any distance and gain confidence.

We frequently do a 300 mile journey, M1 and M6, and share the driving in a powerful comfortable car, which aids confidence.

I find that once on the motorway my confidence grows and DH is reminding me to keep to the speed limit!

Like many, I don't like the Lorraine's, particularly when they bunch up and then swing out. Traffic has increased a great deal since many of us passed our tests.
Sat. Navs are great and taking enough time so that your not in a rush helps.

Mind you, I do think we are entitled to feel anxious or less confident because traffic has increased ENORMOUSLY and so have all the signs. I expect most of us learned back in the 60s, so the roads were much emptier. I can remember when a stretch of the M1 was opened and it looked so inviting (like being the first in a swimming pool) and I felt like Toad. Not any more. I'd rather go the scenic route.

Sorry to all the Lorraines out there. I'm sure you're all lovely in a bunch!

I typed Lorries, honestly.

Our sat nav has some very odd ideas sometimes; she loves endless country lanes that go round in circles and long journeys through the middle of cities rather than a shorter route round.
She thinks we like sightseeing.

I like a map

Disgruntled There is definitely more traffic, just since 2000 when we returned to the UK. More cars than ever around Bristol

After posting on this thread I said to DH this morning, "My New Year resolution will be to drive the car more." He gave me a baleful stare and walked away!

It is reassuring to find I am not the only one who is not as condfident and avoids night driving if possible. Living in a rural area with the nearest hospital 65 miles away it is important that I keep driving. Trouble is, OH is so critical it undermines my confidence so prefer him to drive when together. I recently bit the bullet and drove (on my own) to visit family 150 miles away (avoiding motorways and cities) and it boosted my confidence no end. I am now trying to persuade himself that when we change our car next year we choose an automatic. He says it's not proper driving, but at 76 you never know when he may no longer be capable of driving so I think I should have a say.

I find driving after dark more stressful and if I get lost get upset, or if roads are closed. I use a sat nav but if roads are closed it keeps trying to send me the way I can't go. I live North of London and daughter with new baby is in the South East of London so I have long journeys through traffic jams.

A few years ago the family complained about my driving so I did the Advanced Motorist course. I didn't pass but did improve and got confidence. Since then I have topped up my skills twice with a one hour assessment from them, which I think was around £30. they are happy to do this and can point out things you can improve.

The actual course was very useful. It is about predicting conditions and a big emphasis on paying attention, which can wander for anyone but maybe more as we age. I'd recommend it.

www.iamroadsmart.com/courses/advanced-driver-course?gclid=CJjLiYPS5NACFcaV7QodI-UJ8A

Jane10 Yes you will be able to drive after your knee op I was scared after my hip replacement but its more about confidence in you own abilities after being off the road for the period of recuperation.
I used to love driving but the carnage and road rage is now an every day occurrence and has reduced what I used to enjoy doing to something I do from necessity and not pleasure.
No matter how careful you are there are always idiots who do not give a toss about other road users.

I've been finding the same thing. I think it is a combination of lack of practice and normal deterioration in night vision in particular.
I used to drive to work, but have worked in city centre for 13 years and it's more convenient to take the train. Also on long trips together, my husband usually drives.
I agree - we should drive regularly, using GPS where needed, to maintain skill and confidence but accept that issues at night are probably biological and not just lack of confidence, so we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves ( see for example www.allaboutvision.com/over40/night-driving.htm ). I suspect there is also a gender difference in response to these issues with women being more likely to admit to struggling with confidence/night-driving. There are several studies relating to gender differences in confidence and risk-taking in driving among other things.
be safe but don't give up

If you are a nervous and/or indecisive driver you become a potential hazard to other road users, perhaps it's time to seriously think about handing your licence back.

It is said that older drivers are safer because they recognise their limitations and drive accordingly. I am not mad about driving either and I choose the safest routes and avoid driving after dark (myopia, astigmatism and cataracts.

I hate it and couldn't safely drive in a city or motorway. However, I have worked on driving to my local hospital, a and e, and anywhere else I may need so I know I can do it in emergency!

To be honest I have found myself getting more anxious about lots of different things over the last couple of years .....driving particularly in ew areas, lime you; ordering online; cycling; social situations; travelling; making decisions ......I make myself carry on but it worries me ...another anxiety!!! I put it down to getting older but dont know really, my confidence seems to be waning!

I do worry about male/female couples where the man does most of the driving. It's not discussed, it just happens that way. So the woman gets much less practice. How many men automatically get into the passenger seat when they go out together?
.

I also hate driving and have lost my confidence since retiring as my OH always drives. I do short journeys and to places I know and avoid motorways. Have recently changed to an automatic and felt I had to learn to drive again but now I much prefer it. Very scared of driving at night and have to go out tonight so already anxious but determined to go! Its reassuring that so many others feel the same. It really ruins your life!

I always used to,let DH drive if I could then I suddenly thought if I don't keep it up I shall lloose my confidence. Got rid of my own car a few years ago but decide to get another last year. I am now driving more than DH and he loves it. At one time I would never join motorways or drive anywhere I didn't know, but I forced myself to do it and have almost conquered my fears. Still not overly happy driving at night but some of my hobbies mean driving in the dark so have to go with it. Do have a sat nav which helps but find that if DH is with me he is an excellent sat nav

I love driving with anyone in the passenger seat except my DH who is not a good passenger. At the age of 69 I drove
from Portugal to England and back on my own and enjoyed it. DH likes to drive when we go out together but he has now said he understands why I don't like driving at night. As other posters have said I think having an automatic car does help. I am far happier driving my large automatic car than my DH's small geared car. But do continue droving because you never know when you may be the only person who can drive.

Agree with Jellybeanjean re tailgaters at night, is it because they can't see and just follow the bright light in front. I just tap the break pedal now & again and they usually back off.
I recommend a sat nav if you're in an area your not familiar with wouldn't be without one when I visit my son down south, often get sent to pick up or collect my grandaughters & I'd be lost without the sat nav. Hubby recently changed his car & although its the same car as I have because its a newer model it feels different, I've made myself take it out a few times just so I feel a bit more confident in it, if I retire next year we'll be giving up my car.

After a couple of very minor scrapes when parking (one of which wasn't my fault) I too lost confidence. I've also never been fond of night driving as I never seem able to judge distances by a car's tail lights. For family reasons we decided to buy a second small car as it was necessary for visiting relatives and I love it! It is so much easier to park and I use it for all my driving and feel much happier - still don't like night driving though unless I have to. I now find DH using my car if I'm not in it and wonder how long we will keep the larger one.

I know what you mean, I had the same feelings. Actually I gave up driving when I retired, mainly because we did not need 2 cars, but also I got to the stage where I was driving along and suddenly I was nearly home, but could not remember how I got there! Not dementia or alzheimer's more like driving on auto pilot which I found quite scary.

I hadn't driven much at night for a long time as I didn't like the glare from other cars and got nervous on Motorway. However along came GD who lives one hour up the M6 from us when her parents suggested that I could look after her one day a week and I jumped at the chance. During the summer it was fine and I got used to motorway driving again. when the dark nights came I bought a pair of anti glare glasses from Amazon to help and they make a huge difference. I still don't like the Motorway at night especially if it is raining but I do feel confident enough to do it. So it has been a huge boost to my confidence and now feel happy driving anywhere again.

Great to see I am not alone, I have driven for fifty years and was a District Nurse up to two years ago, I bought a car last year, and love my independance, but only drive locally, would NOT drive into the main City here, Gothenburg, they are always changing roads etc, and the traffic is horrendous, I hate driving in the dark, thats when I really am not confident, but I think at 75 (just had my Birthday last week) I am not doing so badly.Good luck to everyone out there.

I also recommend a satnav with the sound turned on! I dislike driving in the time between light and dark when it's neither. I find it more difficult to judge distances then.
I do all the driving when we are abroad but that's cos generally I'm not a good passenger, even with husband driving. I prefer to be totally in control, if I'm not, for any reason, I start to feel anxious.