I'm going to completely loose the plot or throw myself off a cliff.

I bet working for the NHS is stressful. Am glad you are taking some time for yourself and your grandchildren. Hope the work situation pans out in your favour!

That's good news that you feel a bit calmer.

If you feel overwhelmed again, why not ask your doctor to sign you off work with stress?
Return-to-work support could then include reduced hours.

This is a wonderful year to visit an arboretum, the colours this year must be as good as New England. So glad that you are feeling calmer. ( With regards to your taking your work pension earlier, my company let me do that and go part time. Bolshie could be my middle name at times!)
Do keep taking care of yourself too.

Well just a quick update really I have asked if I can I can take my works pension and cut my hours. I work for the NHS and the wheels grind very slowly. I'm not pinning my hopes on their decision. I can be a bit confrontational at meetings about working conditions and changes to the service. So they may think ' say no and she'll go sooner" anyway I'll wait and see. I took my grandchildren to an arboretum. The colours and fresh air really helped lift my mood. I'm much calmer now. i think it's a mixture of things that send me into a spin, fear, uncertainty, exhaustion I still haven't found my mobile. It really helps writing it all down and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support.

'Eat your elephant a slice at a time' willsmadnan

Morethan sending healing and calming thoughts your way.

Did I read your post correctly... is your DIL terminally ill? If so that is so unbelievably stressful for you and your son. Your DIL is so lucky to have such a caring gran for her children. I am sure you are hurting because you care for her, too.

I would go to your GP. Book a 'double' appointment and explain exactly what is going on. Pills may not be the answer, but don't throw the idea out as you are only one person and very thinly spread trying to keep all together and there may be something in the short term that can help lift your mood. You also need to get your other family members to help out at yours. There is only so much one person can do, but you need to let others help. Or get a cleaner in. Right now you don't have the time or space to get into cognitive behaviour therapy to relieve your stress and pain, so make that appointment first thing Monday!

I don't know where I heard it (maybe one of the GNetters) but the words "To eat an elephant, take small bites" have been ringing in my ears ever since my dear partner died and left me in a far-to-big house with an attic and 2 sheds full of 'stuff' some of which should have gone to the tip (most of it if I'm honest) . Nearest and dearest 800 miles away with their own family responsibilities, so not able to drop everything to come over .... our fault I know... but the small daily bites worked. I'm now 2 days away from moving, surrounded by cardboard boxes, just about sorted. If anyone had asked me if I could do it 4 months ago I'd probably have contemplated the cliff option. It doesn't stop me waking up at 5 am and lie there worrying but I have learnt to take life one day at a time. A week or two off work I'm sure will be better than medication. The OP needs time, and practical help, not a chemical cosh

Another hug Moreton, could you consider shorter hours at work if you are training people to take over from you. I worked well past the time I could have retired and loved everyday, but after I did retire I realised that as you get older working does take more out of you, trying to be super woman, working, running a home, being a wife, mother and grandmother all takes energy and time.

So having finally retired and found actually there is a life after work, I would encourage you to give yourself time to think what would help you cope most, and do consider reducing your working hours if you can.

I do agree about doing stuff in small doses. I have just tidied the kitchen and wiped down the surfaces and feel as though I have achieved something today - even if there are piles of other stuff that need doing! Just having chipped away at a tiny bit can be a source of satisfaction.

I've,found that if I spend,5_10 mins,a,day tidying sorting something g then I feel less pressure and if I lose something unless,it is crucial like,keys i console my self it will turn up it often does,then I feel that i haven't wasted that time.

Oh morethan2 I feel for you. So many of us have been there. Take what advice suits you and carry on as best you can. It will pass. 'Little Willow' by Paul McCartney is one of my little helpers. You may find your own song or poem.

Bend, little willow.
Wind's gonna blow you,
Hard and cold tonight.
Life, as it happens.
Nobody warns you
Willow, hold on tight.

Nothing's gonna shake your love,
Take your love away.
No one's out to break your heart.
It only seems that way... hey!

Sleep, little willow.
Peace gonna follow.
Time will heal your wounds.
Grow to the heavens
Now and forever
Always came too soon.

Anya's suggestion of a couple of weeks off work, followed by reduced hours, sounds good to me.
Use some of the time just to give yourself a rest and some to sort a few things out.
If you keep going as you are you could find yourself being ill and unable to help others.

I don't think much of your DH's eye-rolling! I hope that's not indicative of his whole attitude. Get him to help you in any way you can think of and make sure he knows how you feel under all the pressure.

You're doing amazingly well but it's time to take a bit of care of yourself. ((hugs))

Enough said. I'm not going to argue with you.

Didn't you read my post? I said seek professional help. I am no better placed than you are to offer medical advice. Hence the reason I didn't give any. There are numerous alternative therapies for dealing with stressful situations. morethan's GP will assist her best.

Giving advice such as "don't ask your GP for anything, bar being signed off" isn't placing much faith in the medical profession.

Incidently what alternative therapies are you suggesting?

Didn't you read Dancers post? Oh yes, you did , as you agreed with it

Who said anything about running for drugs? GPs can offer alternative therapies. Your doctor will be better able to provide advice. Please seek their professional help.

No, no, no,....don't ask your GP for anything, bar being signed off for a couple of weeks. Running for drugs is too often the first, rather that the last, resort.

It's time out you need.

Sometimes the workplace can be an escape from everything and forces you to focus on things which are overwhelming you at home, so not sure about taking sick leave. However, as DAncer66 has said, ask your doctor for something to help you through this tough period in your life. I hope your husband is providing some assistance at home. Get him busy sorting through the backlog of paperwork and correspondence. I really feel for you, you're going through a tough, tough time and you need all the help you can get. Please talk to your GP and accept their advice. Wishing you strength to see you through. x

Asking the doctor for something on a temporary basis might not be such a bad thing. Sounds like you have folks depending on you and you won’t be much help if you’re not prepared to ask for it for yourself. Take care of you. Be gentle with yourself. Don’t beat yourself up. Sounds like you have a plateful, ask for some help.

ps didn't mean to be flip, but just the look of the boxes makes me feel as if I am doing something even if I'm not.

I hope you have a lovely day today with the DGC, it's here and I hope it is where you are too.
And I hope your mobile turned up; if not sit down with a and think back to where you last used it.

Good luck

I have got some nice new boxes .....

Well, it's a start, they look very nice sitting there empty

Not much more to add to the good advice above morethan except to remind you of the analogy of the safety announcement on aircraft: put on your own oxygen mask before you help others with theirs. Glad the blocked phone scenario is sorted out. That is one burden off your load.

You do sound so under pressure from the dreadful family situation, and many of us on here know that feeling. I felt like that about 6 months ago and just wanted to go into the middle of a field and scream.

I'm just sending you a big virtual ((hug)) and the hope that some of the pressure on you eases soon. Keep posting on here. You can see how much GNers are behind you.

I can see that the children you are caring for are not themselves at the moment - and who can blame them? That must make it all the more difficult as you are trying to be sensitive to their needs - just don't forget that you have needs too. What a sad situation for you all.

anya has taken the words from my mouth, morethan. If there's too much in life then a doctor can give sick leave to create some space. You then use the space to help yourself feel just a little bit better. So some rest, maybe coffee with a friend, certainly structured time (not all day!) sorting the paper. If you were home is there a friend who could help you with that a bit? Or just keep the tea and coffee flowing for you? The time away from work would help,clear your head and give space to think through what you really want to do at work. I guess most of us have a tendency to think the worst of ourselves when we are tired and drained. If your new work colleagues were in your situation they would be as overwhelmed as you are feeling now. Just a little bit of space would help you re-charge. Think about it?