Baby Shower

I was thinking "Why have a party for someone who is about to become a grandparent? Surely that would draw the attention of the real star of the show, i.e. the mum-to-be?" but then again, granny-to-be's friends are hardly going to be invited to the baby shower, so why not?

Well, I've just spotted some ideas for hosting a grandparent shower, so it's a growth market, nanatobe. The same daft games and lovely food and lots of presents, for the older end of the family. One suggestion for gifts is "freezer meals they can pull out and heat up during those first few weeks when they will likely be spending lots of time visiting or helping to care for the little one"

Thanks for your support notanan. Loved some of your comments? We did some quizzes, guess what's in the nappy (various melted choc bars, fun but looked disgusting). Identify the guest from their baby pic, actually quite hard. The best bit was a video of the dad answering some baby questions, that was hiliarous as he proved clueless. I think I could go into baby shower event planning now.

lovely glad you had fun, what games did you do in the end?

It was such a brilliant afternoon, I had organised a lot of games and an afternoon tea with sandwiches and cakes. Of course a glass or two of Prosecco for the non pregnant! It was so lovely for us to celebrate with all the females in our family and friends. Thanks so much for all your ideas and I highly recommend attending if you get invited to one. My niece has one planned in a couple of weeks so looking forward to it now.

Me too.

Well, presumably all went well, with or without our ideas. I do hope so, nanatobe!

Well I didn't know much about baby showers before, but I certainly do now

it's not a "what do you think of baby showers" or "Babyshower, yes or no" thread

the poor OP's rellie IS having a babyshower and asked for ideas, and got a load of "don't agree with 'em, materialistic, grumble grumble.." instead.

We're all entitled to our opinion though. Have you come from Mumsnet? The language sounds more suited to that site...

Just think it's shitty to piss on something harmless that people enjoy

You really feel strongly about this subject, don't you notanan?

I don't think many mums have them in my neck of the woods (DD would have told me!), but what's the harm?

things like novelty outfits and toys and trinkets can wait, but if friends or family are chipping in for practical things, you need them before hand. E.g. if they're helping with the car seat - you need that to leave hospital! it's not good getting one when you're up to visitors a week after you've already made it home (and back'n'forth to midwife clinic, they don't do home postnatal visits much now!)

Any baby gifts that I've seen given at showers have all been practical stuff and as such needs to be given before the birth

I think its also normal these days to give baby things before the baby's born, why the heck wants to go baby-shopping with a newborn and stitches? most people prefer to be prepared.

I got lots of baby things before my first was born to help me get ready, then when she was born I got a few flowers and outfits, but most of the practical things came before - which is logical and sensible.

So am I hearing that you buy gifts before and then again after?

I believe the etiquite if you buy a baby item for the shower then you don't buy again

but I usually buy something for the mum for the baby shower, which I would do for pregnant friends anyway (pamper stuff etc), so I buy something for the baby when it arrives.

I buy exactly the same amount as I would for someone with no baby shower. Except maybe I bring a dish or a cake or something for a shower too as well as a treat for the mum

None of my family are selfish or materialistic thankfully
These showers have never featured or have I ever heard of them happening with my other friends etc Maybe its the part of the world (country) I live in perhaps we re a bit behind here.
In my experience you always buy a gift when the child is here and I've not come across this phenomenon
So am I hearing that you buy gifts before and then again after?

it's a bit like Christmas, it can be a lovely time when family come together or a materialistic nightmare, depending on what kind of people you are/have in your life.

Don't blame Christmas if your Christmas is all about consumerism

Same for baby showers. Weddings, any gatherings really. If some people use babyshowers as an excuse to be greedy nightmare bump-zillas that's not the fault of all baby showers, they're just missing the mark/point.

babyshowers are only "materialistic" oriented if they're a bunch of people who are materialistic anyway

If your family and friends are more people than things oriented then that's what their babyshowers will be about.

None of the baby showers I've been to have been at all materialistic, they've been about coming together and sharing and celebrating the last weeks of pregnancy. But if your family/friends are quite shallow/materialistic, then their babyshowers probably would be. My friends/family aren't, its more about getting everyone together.

Last babyshower I went to I brought some home made cupcakes and the mum-to-be's favourite sweets for her hospital bag - hardly the height of consumerism! We did a birth/baby fact quiz which was quite funny and had a nice lunch. The women who had already had babies shared some TMI insights (in jest).. it was nice. Friends of the mum to be who were scattered around the country after uni all came together for it.

I ve never been to one and although I ve heard of them never heard anyone around this area having them (thankfully) none of my children mentioned them when they were producing perhaps they ve become more popular in the later years
I m probably completely out of tune, well I know I am after reading these replies, but I dislike all this feeling of giving becoming compulsory because then it takes the real feelings out of the equation Surely giving should be done spontaneously out of love, not organised
Each of my children were given a gift from their new sibling when it was born, family and close friends gave me small gifts what more do you need ?
I believe in all ways we are becoming more and more materialistic and money orentated that all the true meaning is lost Like the wedding gifts that ask you for a donation for their honeymoon

I ve no problem with having a celebration for a new baby before I m accused of being a misery but obligatory gifts I don't like

Hi there notanan, love your phrase about what it is that makes people piss on other people's little moments of happiness.

I don't think it's a new idea at all it's just a new thing that it has a name

My elderly neighbour had an eternity ring she got when she had her first

I wouldn't have liked a present because money was tight when I went on maternity leave so I'ld have been a bit annoyed at DH for buying luxuries when we needed to save anything extra to get through mat leave, but for friends who had a disposable income when they had babies I don't begrudge them their pushing presents - they could afford them and they enjoyed them!

I think a gift to the mother from the father to mark their child's safe arrival is a lovely idea. SIL gave DD an eternity ring for number one, diamond stud earrings for no. 2 and a necklace for no. 3. Not a "worse trend" from the US but a gift of love. Lucky girl!
(DH had clearly never heard of the idea when we had ours Ah well!) )

I don't understand what's going on in society these days with this trend of pissing on other people's little moments of happiness?

Yes I give another gift when the baby is born

I would anyway

For baby shower gifts I usually bring practical stuff for the pregnancy/labour or immediately after, those gifts are for the mother.

after the birth I bring a gift for the baby, a toy or outfit or gift

I do that anyway, if a friend isn't having a babyshower I'll still usually give them some relaxing mum-to-be bath stuff etc as they get near the achey miserable last stages of pregnancy or some bump butter when they announce the pregnancy etc.

If people do pushing presents - who cares? That's between the couple isn't it, god is it so awful if someone's partner gives them a gift? and what has that to do with anyone else?

Come to think of it my DH gave me a pretty antique brooch when DD1 was born...no money when DD2 arrived.