What is a 'typical ' boy?

I think children should simply grow up the way life takes them, if they like football etc, fine, if they like academic hobbies, fine. I hated football and all team-games, much preferred one/one sports, table tennis, tennis, cycling, judo.

I am concerned with the number of younger adults that declare themselves gay, it seem to me that his is sometimes a fashion statement. If being gay became the norm, the worlds population would soon drop.

Oh dear - I'm concerned that so many young men fear they may be accused of making a fashion statement if the pluck up the courage to confide the may be gay.
It's easier now to be more open about being gay or lesbian. However, the fact it may be easier than it was 50, 30 or even 20 years ago, doesn't mean it's easy or stress free.

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LOL you do say some funny things GnT
Love the bit about the lesbians.

Hello oldgoose, your dgs sounds so much like my son, he was quiet, polite and most of his friends were girls. He asked for a teaser when he was 3, so I bought him one. Some friends/family were horrified but that was what he wanted. He didn't much like sport, watching or playing it so I didn't push it. He is now independent and confident and has a girlfriend of 9 years. I don't like labelling children, they are what they are after all xx

Jess, I wasn't trying got be funny, just what I observe.

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When a book I am reading inserts a long detailed description of a heterosexual bedding, I skip it and move on to the next bit of the story. (I have used the word "inserts" because these episodes have hardly anything to do with the plot or characters of the book. They are there purely so that the reader can think "Wow! This is hot stuff")

It is not because I am heterophobic, nor prudish. It is because I am not interested in reading exactly what they did, it is enough that know that it went well, and I am very happy for them. But they could just have disappeared up the stairs and then on the next page a new chapter begun.

So I am with G&T here. Homophobic my eye. Another superfluous use of disapproval, where none is needed because no disapproval of the homosexuals was involved.

Very harsh, to get that deleted! Now you have G&T's post labelled homophobic and abusive, when it was no such thing, just that he did not watch when homosexuals behaved sexily on the TV. Do you intend to get mine deleted for not reading heterosexual passages in novels? I was just being honest, too - and I am noit keen on long brerathless epoisodes on TV either, very boring, unless the actor is one of my favourites.

And the OP said nothing whatsoever about her grandson being gay, just that he was quiet and gentle. You took more out of her post than was put into it, then did the same for G&T's.

Thank you Elegran, I have asked for the post accusing me of homophobia to be deleted.

I find it more objectionable that Iam64 should associate a quiet studious child with the possibility of being gay, rather than just a normal child.

I have not problem with my posts being deleted if they upset anyone, but ALL the related posts should have been deleted.

Your explanation of why you don't read bits of books that don't interest you is a far cry from the comments made by GrandTea, which were different than your summary of them Elegran. I won't repeat them because they have been deleted, presumably because I'm not the only person who saw them as homophobic.
I didn't suggest the OP grandson was gay, the OP is unhappy about that phrase being used to describe him because of his gentle nature. Most of us will have heard that kind of comment about similarly gentle boys. My issue is the term being used in a derogatory manner. That's it from me, you'll be pleased to hear.

If two men kiss on tv my dad always makes the point of looking uncomfortable, he can quite comfortably watch some quite horrific or desperately sad things minus the facial expressions but two blokes kissing gets him squirming. It's as if he has to prove his heterosexual nature by the disgust he shows to any act of affection between gay people.

Ix posted with GrandTea there

It is the labelling that hurts, my effeminate uncle is gay, my burly, butch nephew is gay, my daughter climbs trees, plays football and is NOT a tomboy, she is a girl. Stop policing the gender borders, stop using the terms gay and girl in a derogatory way. We still have a long way to go before the sexes are equal and being gay is still bloody hard. Not as hard as it used to be, my uncle left the country in the fifties because it was so hard, my nephew, mostly, just lives his life but still comes across homophobia every day. If not in real life then on TV, or chat forums.

We'll have to agree to differ on exactly the wording of that post, then, Iam, as we can't refer back to it. I put more detail into the reasons for my reaction. The reference by LPS to her own father is not relevant - mine always showed his disgust at enthusiastic heterosexual public displays (there were never any homosexual ones then) but that wasn't to prove anything.

I am with G&T in saying that posts accusing him of a homophobic attitude should also be deleted. Half a conversation always sounds worse than the whole.

Hi,

Maybe it's because I am doing a lot of research in it at the moment but I wonder if he could possibly be autistic / Asperger's syndrome. This is nothing to worry about really. It simply means that their brains are wired differently, they understand things differently etc.. Some of the top brains in this world had / have Asperger's syndrome (Albert Einstein, Bob Dylan,Bill Gates, Isaac Newton, Michael Jackson etc.) and they say that one in then men have this condition, though it is a lower percentage in women.

It's a thought .... .

LSP, your description of your Dad is better than my own, of my self, Rather than "dislike", uncomfortable would be a much better description of my reaction to men/men, women/women, kissing in a sensuous way.

And my dad was of the generation where men/women kissing passionately in public was uncomfortable viewing too. Perhaps I am old enough (77) to still have some of that reaction. Perhaps G&T still has it too. I am happy that everyone has a healthy and fulfilling sex life, but it is their own private business, not mine.

That is neither homophobia nor heterophobia, it is just reticence.

At the same time, I am quite happy to laugh at risque stories and joke about handsome waiters. Double standards? Not really. One is physical, in-your-face and private. The other is theoretical - funny and fine.

Oldgoose no need to worry what people are starting to say, he is his own person and in due course he will be straight or gay, whichever is right for him. At the moment he is neither, just a little boy who likes computery things and has an interest in collecting stuff (once upon a time it would have been stamps - which was a respectable hobby for the less macho boy) He is not necessarily autistic or Aspergers either, he is just a boy.

I remember coming home when my children were teenagers. I passed my daughter in the drive, fixing something on her scooter, with bits spread all around and oil on her hands. Indoors I was accosted by her younger brother. He had bought some jeans and wanted to know how to make the legs taper. I produced the sewing machine and showed him how to take in the seams at the lower leg, which he did rather crudely but effectively. I had some pottery clay - he played around with it and produced an excellent figure.

My daughter is now married with two children, she works in data anlysis, and does the home decorating and repairing while her husband is an excellent cook. My son does computer programming, is a competent DIYer (like his father) and his partner is a financial whizz woman.

Agree with Elegran at the age of 10, a child should just be allowed to grow and enjoy life. No one can determine how his life will unfold, and whatever, you will still love him and accept him for himself as will his friends.

I have 9 nephews and 2 of them are gay. Both gay nephews are in long term relationships. Neither were boys who were massively into sport but then two other nephews weren't either!! One became severely depressed as a teen because he was afraid of the bigoted reaction he would get. It is stereotyping of gay people that causes problems as it does for any group of people. Also probably that attitude of overly macho men that caused gay community to develop gay campness! I do not like to see any couple being overly lovey dovey in public but gay or straght holding hands, peck on cheek, arm in arm is not offensive to me.

This has become a completely ridiculous post. All OP was saying was that her DGS was not a noisy, sporty boy. How it got to page 4 on this is risible.

Agree with whitewave in an early post, skipped pages 2 and 3 and amazed at page 4!!! I know plenty of men that are quiet, nerdy, gently, kind that are both hetero and gay. So what's all the fuss about. And if one is hetero then yes I do find it a bit uncomfortable watching passion etc between same sexes both female and male because it is just that - out of my comfort zone and not in my experience zone because I just haven't been there and it doesn't make me homophobic.

And please no labels of any kind at an early age. I have a DGS who to me is a 'typical boy' with a few issues and just had the autistic label hung on him. Yes it is useful in that certain aspects/issues can be watched, but frankly I think just let him and others like him just get on with it. They will lead good and fufiling lives as grown ups.

Just love your grandson for who he is oldgoose and good for you.

I think this is quite a thoughtful discussion with lots of people sharing their real life, lived experience, hardly risible.

Gender stereotyping is very real and very damaging, it's fantastic that people notice it and want to talk about it.

The OP was tallking about an 11 year old LumpySpaced Princess. says all.