Coping with anxiety

Lindill....I hope that all that has been written will be of help to you.
It's an age thing coupled with not having a job to occupy your mind with. So maybe trying another interest to occupy your mind will help....and certainly not watching the news is a step in the right direction.
All Good Wishes to you.

I think it's normal to be anxious about loved-ones welfare, but this seems to be a problem or you wouldn't have put it on here. I agree with the others - this isn't right and you said it's not normal for you. I know you said you have no reason to be depressed, but depression isn't like that and, in my experience, it often brings anxiety with it. Maybe a trip to the doctor or even a chat with a friendly practice nurse might help?
The other thing is that trying not to think can be self-defeating. Maybe allow yourself a 'fretting' time, then when that time is up, do something else, but accepting that the worry is still there - just that you'll deal with it later.
Yes, I am speaking from experience and, yes, I know it's not easy. Hope it helps a bit though.

Lindill ... you're not boring anyone. And depression is caused by the chemical balance in your brain being disturbed, not necessarily by events. Please, please, see a doctor - I've been depressed clinically since childhood and when I'm able to come off medication I now know to get right back to the GP & my psychiatrist as soon as YOUR worry symptoms crop up. Will have you in my prayers.

I have read all the advice and suggestions with great interest
I am now going to have a rethink of my anxiety issues
I am going to read up on GAD and mindfulness
Just the other day someone told me to let thoughts 'go' and 'let them wash over me '.
Not to try to block them out

My son who lives a quite distance away from us, tells me that my little GS has had his injections after the event
This is a better way for me to deal with it!
Thank you for the thread
I hope it has been of some help to you Lindill

In my experience accidents are more likely to happen when we are not doing something obviously dangerous. If there is danger involved then greater care is taken, everybody is on the watch and safety rules are more likely to be followed.
I do agree that when my precious kids and grandkids are flying I can't wait to know that they have arrived safely but that's because of my own fear of flying. They all have a great time.
Our last accident in the family happened in the park after a wet spell . Our 22 month old was running in his wellies just ahead of his mummy, saw a muddy puddle at the side of the path and did a gleeful Peppa Pig dash for it and jumped. To my daughter's horror he all but disappeared into a deep hole full of muddy water. I had an SOS to drive to the rescue with a complete set of clothes, towels and the like. Thankfully his head had remained out of the hole as the clothes were caked with reddish brown mud and I could never get them really clean.
I am forever climbing ladders and getting grumbled at but two years ago, walking slowly on carpet at home, I dropped to my knee for no reason that we can be sure of and broke my lower femur very badly into many pieces. I still climb ladders and still get grumbled at but up a ladder I take great care and that's the difference.

I'm sorry you are feeling so anxious Lindill49. I think anxiety creeps in along with age in some people. It could be, as someone said, the fact that we are constantly bombarded with terrible news, and also we are not usually as busy with careers and bringing up children, so we have more time to reflect on things that we might have given momentary interest to when we were younger. But be assured your granddaughter will be safe with the people responsible for her. The thousands of school/club trips where everything goes perfectly fine are never reported in the news but they happen all the time.

I feel the same about things BUT we have to consider the other side of the coin too,would we want our loved ones to live lives devoid of all adventure?

Can she swim, if not get her to lessons, can she do first aid, if not send her on a course,martial arts and then driving, it is a scarier world we live in than it was, but give her as many skills and as much confidence as possible to deal with it.

I'm sorry you are so upset Lindill49, but crying about something which hasn't happened and about world events, terrible though they are, does seem a bit extreme. Can your granddaughter swim? I hope that a visit to your GP would help your anxiety.

Try A Vogel Menopause Support - they have restored me to being the normal, sane person I was 5 years ago!! Their website offers straightforward advice which covers all the symptoms of the menopause - and others you didn't realise you had. I am a new woman!

When I was twelve my friends and I were allowed to hire a rowing boat at the harbour. We rowed over to the rocks and picked up some other friends. The boat owner was yelling at us! I couldn't swim and was lucky we didn't capsize.I had so many scrapes in my youth I'm surprised I'm still here!

On Friday my four year old GD is going to the beach with her Nursery. Yes, I worry, but not as much as the OP seems to be.

I think it's normal for a loving, "giving' kind of woman to be anxious - even sometimes a bit over anxious possibly, about their grandchildren, especially as they can travel more today than years ago. My 3 have just spent a month in Taiwan - was I anxious - you bet!!! But Facetime and Skype help a lot! I think there is a mixture of things here: going to the doctor gets you into the physical, medical angles with pills etc. You may not want or need that route. You had a busy life and now you don't - why? You say your husband is sympathetic, but does he LISTEN to you and does he really communicate? Are you fixating on your grandchildren because there's not much more to do or talk about? Spend time out of the house, exploring your own interests, live your own life and really let your anxiety be expressed to someone in a confidential way - say a professional counsellor.
When we stop working, we are left with a husband we spend all day with (we didn't when we worked) and both persons are getting on in years - so we are changing and some change more than others!!! Examine honestly the communications at home and they may not be great so it's easy to fall back and get a fixation on worrying.

Some wonderful advice here, but I would also echo the suggestion that what you don't know won't hurt you.
Your daughter cannot possibly realise the depth to which you worry about risks, or she wouldn't have told you.

I am pretty sure my daughter has hidden worrying things from me when it wasn't essential that I knew.

Please don't take this the wrong way but are you forcing anxious situations upon yourself by needing to know your family's every move? Can you relax if you don't know what they are doing?
When you were busy with work, I am sure work took up more of your thoughts, hopefully you can find other activities too that will distract you, once you have been helped to settle.

Re exercise, I have osteoarthritis as well and can't walk very far at all, but I cycle.
As my balance is poor, I use a trike, an adult's tricycle. It's fantastic and helps me tremendously.

I think this is a technique sometimes used in CBT etc, peaceatlast.

I was advised once when having panic attacks to just 'go with it' and let it wash over me. Of course the worry is that it will go on forever but of course it doesn't. I don't think your mind or body could be in that state permanently and eventually it subsides.

I don't think this is a solution but it's a technique worth trying. It also depends of course on where you are at the time. I managed to do it at home but if you're at your desk at work or in the supermarket it's a bit tricky.

If these are new feelings, I think you should talk to your GP (especially as you are feeling so terribly tired which can cause you to be emotional) and maybe self refer to Time to Talk if they have one in your area. Very often they have workshops on mindfulness which helps you deal with anxiety and/or one to one sessions. It's really worth checking out.

HiLindill49

Maybe you should speak to your GP - you could be suffering from 'generalised anxiety disorder'. This happened to me a few years ago despite the fact that I get up to all sorts of adventurous things myself - white water kayaking, riding lunatic horse etc. In fact I started to worry about myself because of how upset other people would be if something happened to me!
You can read about GAD on the nhs website: www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Anxiety/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I don't know how often you see your son/daughter but what about telling her not to tell you about these trips until your gd is home again. My parents were very anxious about me taking a balloon ride, as I was a single parent, and if anything happened to me my children would be orphans. They didn't want me to go. I understood their fears but that could happen crossing a road so I told them when I got back and explained my reasons. Everything was fine.

Also when my youngest daughter went out with her partner for a few drinks she would ring me up to tell me she loved me. I could tell she had been drinking and I was beside myself with worry until I spoke to her the next day. So I asked her not to ring me in that situation and it's been fine ever since. Knowing that her partner would look after her didn't make any difference.

It's just not worrying you unnecessarily that's the point. I'm sure if you explained how you feel they would understand.

This may sound silly Lindill49, but are you anxious about anything else? I know that if I am worrying about something major I will displace that by worrying about other things - my husband is not well at the moment and I find myself worrying about things that never bothered me before. I think that this is because I'm trying NOT to worry about my husband's health.

I suffer from all sorts of anxiety towards my children and grandchildren. Mostly I try to dismiss it but sometimes I think it through to envisage the worst case scenario and usually this process actually snaps me out of it, strangely.

I don't think it's about 'control', Lindill, you can't force yourself through willpower not to feel as you do.

Acceptance might be one way to help: your feelings are painful and it's natural to want to escape from them. So you try desperately to push them away and not let them show. This can be exhausting and it doesn't work. So, be compassionate to yourself - observe your feelings; in a quiet moment when you are by yourself, say: Ah, I notice that I'm feeling very anxious right now....I know this feeling well. But it's OK; nothing has changed. I will wait for the feelings to pass....' or whatever feels right for you.
Imagine the anxiety as dark stormclouds passing overhead. They pass, as all feelings do, good and painful. Once you can accept that they are there, and learn to be with them, some of the sting will go.

I suffered with terrible anxiety for years, so I know how dreadful it can feel. Please don't think you're boring anyone - and be compassionate to yourself.

There are usually huge waiting lists for CBT, over a year around here, it may be better where you are , but a lot of the exercises are just training yourself to think differently about things so do look it all up online there may well be tips I have often used self help books and I know a lot of counsellors that use them too You ll get there

I might be concerned if it was children on their own. However, you say there will be responsible adults supervising, so I'd be more relaxed about that. If you find you're getting anxious, e.g. frequently in tears about news items etc. perhaps a word with your G.P. would be helpful.

Like you Lindill I've become more anxious as I've got older, and news of children drowning in the sea and rivers doesn't help! Hope the responsible adults are all good swimmers, sorry I'm making things worse!
As a child my siblings and I were off all day playing in ponds and climbing trees and my own children used to go off with their friends to play in a brook three fields away. Never bothered me then and we nor they had mobile phones either.
Now though I worry about everything and I think it's partly because we're always being warned of the danger in everything, that and age. We're more aware of our own mortality.
Try not to dwell on the negatives, I'm sure your granddaughter will have a wonderful time and be perfectly safe.

It is worrying when things are happening we have no control over and I know I do get anxious about my D and GS. I understand why younger people say don't tell mum she will worry. My D does share things with me and I know that helps her. I do worry but next time I speak to her she has usually resolved the problem

But you do need to see a. Doctor if your anxiety is so distressing it makes you cry. Someone mentioned cognitive therapy, a great idea and very interesting and helpful.

Also talking to people or sharing on Gransnet - a trouble shared is a trouble halved.

I understand how you feel and I do think we see the potential for 'danger' more clearly as we get older. However, with regards to feeling constantly tired and lots of aches and pains, have you ever had your thyroid levels checked? This is exactly how I felt before they discovered my thyroid levels were low - just a thought.

I would also suggest chatting this over with your doctor. Anxiety can be the first stage of depression so nip it in the bud. It is nothing to be ashamed about- we all get something like this at some time but deal with it before it becomes an issue. I speak from experience.